I’m so glad you have found my blog. I know from my personal experience it has been therapeutic for me to talk to other wives in the fire industry. But it just wasn’t quite enough for me. So here I am.
My name is Val and I’ve been married to my firefighter for 16 years. We’ve been together for 20 and were high school sweethearts. We had a whole other life before the fire department which makes us even more thankful for him getting hired on. He was in construction and worked so many hours and commuted so much that some weeks we hardly saw him.
Then to top it off he became a volunteer (at the time our department was only volunteer) and that would take him away even more. I didn’t begrudge him that time as he truly loved doing it, but it does takes it’s toll. He was a volunteer for about 6 or 7 years before getting hired on paid a little bit after the departments merged. He worked his butt off to get in and I’m so proud of him. We’re going on 4 years now.
We have two kids 14 and 12 and they are finding their own lives now. I’ll probably talk a lot about my dogs as they become my companions when everyone is gone from the house. lol I own my own businesses online and also offline as a personal trainer. It’s a difficult balance, but so worth it!
Just wanted to drop you a note and say that I enjoy your blog!! happy St. Patrick’s Day.
Hi Dorie,
Thank you so much for commenting and the compliment.
I am wondering how i may join this site, I also started a site on face book called california firefighters wives/partners. thanks
vanessa
Hi Val!
I’m so glad I found your blog!
My husband has been a wildland firefighter for a few years, as well as a volunteer firefighter.
He was recently hired by LA City and is in the Academy process. Needless to say, our lives have changed drastically. His schedule is different, and I’m finding it hard to cope. Oddly enough, when he used to be gone for 2 weeks at a time, I found it much easier. Now that he’s got a different schedule and is home more, it’s harder for me to connect.
Anyhow, I’m hoping to connect with you to perhaps learn more all about this
Best,
Erika Cope
Hi Vanessa, you can subscribe to our feed any time using your favorite feedreader. I personally love google because it’s easy and I am in there all the time for emails already. You can also click up in the corner and you will see the feed there. Otherwise there is no joining needed. Just jump on in to conversations as you see fit.
Thanks for stopping by.
Erika, so glad you found my blog then. BTW, that is how we spell our daughters name. lol We don’t run into that spelling very often. Cool
It is very difficult to get used to. They are there, then they aren’t. If they take OT then they can be gone for a few days. I am blessed that I work for myself and also cursed in this way as well. If he wants to run and play, then I have to be strong and work, or take off and play and then know I have to scramble for bills. LOL Both options are worth it though!
The first two weeks of academy were very difficult. Then I got used to him being gone for 4-5 nights a week. Then it got all thrown off again because he graduated and was on days for a few weeks. OMG, that was a mess. I was used to all this time to myself and getting things done when I wanted to. But I of course loved having him home again. So many emotions. This is why I started the blog, so everyone knows they aren’t alone in their feelings. That you don’t have to have guilt for those feelings and that honestly, we just do the best we can TODAY. More than most professions, I think we all understand that we only have today. So make the best of what is thrown at you.
I have found that I do much better if I set my schedule myself. I don’t rely on knowing if he’ll be off work, or if he’ll make it home to watch the kids. I make plans for most days for him not to be there. Having him be a volunteer previously helped with this I think. We didn’t have a ton of competent volunteers right before the departments merged and especially at certain times of the day. So if there was a call, he really did need to go on the calls. It taught me not to be selfish. But it also taught me to be selfish. If I need or want him to be home, I tell him so. Who doesn’t want to hear that they are wanted? lol
My husband of 14 years.. has been a firefighter for the last 10.. last night he was dispatched out to the Los Alamos, NM fire.. so i googled Firefighter wife to see if there was anyone else out there in my same position. Our husbands are brave, and they love what they do.. but us ladies need to stick together for support! I will keep up with this blog, thanks!
Welcome Shipley’s wife, glad you found us. Hope your husband makes it safely home soon.