HotWife :: Firefighter Wife

Adding Forums?

Posted on February 18, 2012 by HotWife

I’m in the middle of some remodeling as you can tell. The plan is to lighten it up here some and make it easier to navigate . I really want to work on getting resources front and center.

As such, I’m revisiting something that I get asked about a lot, forums. They are a lot of work but I know they are also beneficial. It gives everyone another way to interact and commiserate.

However, my biggest issue with forums is that they MUST stay a positive influence. Which is where the forum community itself has to really step up and take responsibility. Now I know that life is not all roses and chocolates, but I wouldn’t be able to handle a place that everyone only came to complain. As a moderator for other boards we always implemented a rule that for any negative(ish) post, you had to post a positive post to balance it out. It’s amazing how much that can help everyone. Especially once you get your vent out of the way and are already on your way to feeling better.

So I’m putting it to the community here as a poll and it’s going to take a LOT of replies for me to even think of putting the time into it. I have to know they would be visited and posted to. Let me know how you feel about a firefighter wife forum you could visit 24/7.

If I do get a lot of positive response then I’ll also be looking for a couple of women to help moderate. So if you are interested in helping send me a line contact @ firefighterwife.com just take the spaces out. No pay for moderators at this time, but who knows down the road? We can hope right

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Categories : Everyday, Resources

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Happy Un-Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 15, 2012 by HotWife

Now that Valentine’s day is finally done with, we can get back to loving everyone as we should. Not like the corporations and media have told us we should.

Hubby and I have had 21 V-day’s together. I can remember the first one because hubby was away at college and it was my senior year. I probably still have the little plaque he got me somewhere, but I can’t remember what the other little things were. I remember all of us laughing because the guys had to run out last minute and get stuff since they’d forgot. The girlfriend from the other couple would have pitched a fit if our friend hadn’t done well with the gifts. I didn’t even care. I was just so happy my boyfriend was home that the stuff really meant little.

See what possibly started a long line of not caring about Valentine’s day? Well I guess it goes farther back than that. I didn’t grow up with a ton of money and we did a lot more things for each other rather than buying things. The best presents still in my opinion are time spent with your loved one’s and/or homemade gifts. Not that I don’t appreciate big gifts and I’m definitely not all above that. lol I just still think gifts feel more special when they have meaning behind them.

Valentine’s day to me is a forced day. Telling people that they MUST go spend $120+ on flowers, buy chocolates, blingy jewelry or make reservations at the “best” restaurant where it will be packed, loud and over-priced for the night because they have a special menu. That if they don’t do these things they don’t really love their spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend. It’s just ridiculous and sets everyone up for failure. I know that sounds bitter, but I’m not at all. I’ve only had Valentine’s day as an adult with my husband and I can’t remember a single one that I was horribly disappointed. So it’s not a matter of tracking to a year that ruined them all forever.

I think I’ve passed on the message to at least our daughter. The high school does stoplight day on Valentine’s day. They wear red if your taken, green if your single and yellow if it’s complicated. My daughter and some friends wore black to celebrate. lol That’s my girl. I told her she should say they were protesting commercialism. Even though I know they just wanted to make the statement that the day is stupid in their book.

I am a firm believer that every day you should celebrate your love. Every day you should tell your loved one’s that they are important. It’s all part of the no regrets way I’ve been working hard at living by. You aren’t guaranteed tomorrow and you don’t want to regret not saying or doing something important. Thankfully, I didn’t learn that the hard way. I learned it by making the time when I was too busy and then having those loved one’s pass away not long after. I can look back and be thankful that they knew I loved them.

But on to the funny part of this post. In honor of my pushing my beliefs on my kids (as is my right lol) I doctored up these boxes of chocolates to put in their lunches. I wonder if they’ll say anything when they get home. I double wonder if my son will even notice what I wrote before he rips it open and snarfs down the chocolate.

Hubby took OT on V-day and in honor of him working an extra shift I have a yummy salmon dinner planned for him tonight. We’ll spend the evening doing what we probably would have on Valentine’s Day. Sitting in our recliners, possibly both on our computers and catching up on the dvr. Ain’t we romantic?

Categories : Everyday, Relationship

Comments (6)

Does It Get Easier?

Posted on February 14, 2012 by HotWife

The question everyone always wants to know. My quick answer is a resounding… YES!

Q: Hello, I just came across you’re site and I think its wonderful. I am actually engaged to a firefighter. He is a volunteer right now but in the process of being hired on. Even being a volunteer he goes on a call on average twice a week for about 6 hours each time. Sometimes its 5 times a week and sometimes its none. Its very hard, never knowing when he’ll have to leave or if he’ll make it back to me safe. This may be a dumb question, but does it ever get easier?

A: I’m not sure how long you’ve been together or how long he’s been a FF so I’ll just go as if both may be kind of new.

It’s always difficult going through the adjustment period of something new. But, it’s especially difficult because we don’t have anything that remains the same each day. We’re constantly hit with something new and that’s the only thing that remains the same lol

I have just a quick question of why a call averages 6 hours? Is it only fire calls they go on? Ours have always been mostly medical calls, so he could be back anywhere from 30 minutes on, as we didn’t do transports as a volunteer station as a general rule. But we had a lot more calls than 2-5 so it probably averaged out to the same amount of time as you posted about.

You have to look at it as he will always come home to you safe. If you don’t, your sanity is going to take a major toll. He’s trained and so are those working with him. You have to put your trust in that training.

It’s very difficult not knowing when a call will go out. I wrote a post last spring about being a volunteer wife and it has a lot of information in it. Hubby was a volunteer for around 6 years before getting on paid and it was a roller coaster for sure. Especially since the kids were little.

When our district was super crazy before the merge it was rare for him to be home at all. He’d work his construction job and then there would be a ton of calls as well. I just learned to appreciate the time he was home because it was rare. Make sure and set up time that he won’t go on calls and he’ll actually turn the pager off. It doesn’t have to be very often, but it helps a lot.

Categories : Everyday, Fire Questions

Comments (6)

Helping Your Firefighter With Stress

Posted on February 9, 2012 by HotWife

She’s waited long enough for a response from me so we’ll just get right to the point with her question. It’s a really, serious question and I hope that many of you will help point me to new resources I can bring to everyone.

Q: Hello, my name is Lisa and my fiance is a firefighter/ paramedic and recently he has been struggling with the fact that every time he goes on shift something really awful happens. I have been trying to reach out and find him support. He just has a hard time talking to someone, like a therapist, who has no idea what it really feels like to go through these events. I was wondering if maybe you have any ideas of how i can get his mind off of all this. I was hoping there was some type of support group in our area but i havent been able to find one. I’m new at this and i was hoping for some good ideas. It worries me everyday when he’s always down due to a bad shift. Please help! Thank you.

A: First off, it’s important to get to know other people he works with. Whether it’s wives of those he works with or directly someone he works with. I say this because I had this same comment from a friends girlfriend and I’m so glad I could pass it on to my husband and get him help.

At times the guys forget that others haven’t been in the same situations. I know this particular event was a child fatality. My husband went through just about every horrible event you can do in his first year of volunteering. We just didn’t know that wasn’t normal…but I guess I’m glad it was our normal because we had to cope on our own for it. However, my son had just had an episode of craziness and our friend was associating with this first child fatality he witnessed.

Thankfully I have the connection with my hubby and I immediately said our BF was having a bad time. His girlfriend was fire as well so it’s not like she didn’t have some major clues about helping him. Come to find out there had been no debriefing for the event. We have had quite a few child events in that time so I can see where it can happen. But sadly it was our BF’s first child fatality so it really needed debriefing.

My stepping up and immediately passing on the info helped. I told hubby I didn’t want it known how it was passed on because I didn’t want any a-holes saying anything. That’s just not a spot you get to make fun of someone.

Now for other resources if the above is not an option. A therapist doesn’t have to go through any of the events, they do not have to actually understand the feelings to be of help. Therapy has nothing to do with the therapists feelings, it has to do with their skills at helping him work through HIS feelings. We have therapists available to us through the fire department and I’d recommend he talks to his Chief or HR to see if you do as well. Our therapists are also available to the fire family to my understanding.

As with any negative situations in life, help him remember the positives that happened at work as well. After listening to the stories he needs to get off his chest, work to pull out calls that he’s set aside because they were “routine” calls. Calls that they did save someones life by getting them help in time. Those are easy for them to overlook and it’s important for them to focus on how happy those people and their families are.

I found a great site for PTSD help for fire, police, ems called What is PTSD?

Then an even better site I found is FireStrong.org.

I also found some books that may help:

The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growth

Is He Depressed or What?

This is obviously an area that needs more free help put out there. I was disheartened to find nothing on the iaff website at all. I contacted some guys to see if I can find even more info.

Categories : Fire Questions

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Rekindled Pride Dog Collar and Tug Toy

Posted on February 6, 2012 by HotWife

Are you ready for the cute pictures of my gorgeous dogs? Are you sure you are ready for them? Ok, you can stop begging.

Back in December you may remember I did a review for the Rekindled Pride Christmas Stocking.

But the Christmas stocking wasn’t the only item Rekindled Pride sent me. They also sent a dog tug toy for my Lab and a collar for my Maltese. Hmm, it just dawned on me that we have a Maltese…Maltese cross…association. Why have I never thought of that? Maybe because she’s not the manliest of animals. But don’t judge her for her 6 pound frame.

Judge her for how well she pulls off this firefighter dog collar. (Yes, she did gladly pose for this pic) I was a little worried about the weight of the collar on her. She really is a tiny thing. But it fit just fine and she’s perfectly comfortable in it. Even though she loves to dress up in her pink, girly outfits, she’s a tomboy. I love the fact that when we go camping we now have something easily washed up. Because take a guess who the first dog is to get in the mud and water? Definitely NOT my prissy Lab. I’m looking forward to the easy cleanup at the river this year. Plus I am not worried about it getting ruined when I clean it, this thing is definitely going to last her lifetime and more.

I’m impressed by the stitching. My Mom sews and used to make a lot of clothes when I was growing up. In fact she made all of my dance dresses in high school. I was only ever mediocre at sewing. These lines are very straight and that impresses me. The straight stitches give it a very crisp, finished look.

Then we have the fun firehose tug toy. After I got pictures taken and the Lab spent a few weeks playing with it, there was a list of people that wanted to see it first hand. Off to the station it’s gone. I’ll have to really keep an eye on it

My Lab is not a chewer so I wasn’t worried much about it getting torn up or even having to test that out. BUT for some reason she thinks it’s fun to nibble at the seams of this tug toy. Of all the times to get a new habit. She’s eleven for goodness sake.

With that said, the tug toy is standing up well to the test. There is some slight unraveling happening, but it is from the hose ends themselves and it has stopped well before the seams. Again, I’ll comment on the quality of the sewing. These seams aren’t going anywhere. The pull loop is really stoutly attached. Hubby and the old girl can fight to their hearts content.

The entire toy is made from hose. The base is a stuffed and the nice, big loop is flat. For those of you that do play tug with your dog, the 7″ loop is nice and roomy even for hubby’s hand. It’s not fun to get bit while playing tug as they go for a better grip. If your hand is too close you get in the regripping procedure. It also doesn’t dig into your hand while pulling. Which is a major plus if she wants me to play tug for longer. If it’s digging into my hand then I give up early. Mom’s a poor sport.

My lab was uncooperative with the picture taking so Sweet Pea offered to help again. She looks guilty because I set her on the coffee table for the picture and she knows she’s not allowed up there. Mean mommy, I know lol She’s a few weeks past a grooming appointment so excuse the scruff she’s got going on.

All of us in the family love the products sent to us by Rekindled Pride. You won’t be disappointed with their quality.

Categories : Everyday, Shop

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Slacker

Posted on February 3, 2012 by HotWife

Yep, that’s me. Business has been taking off and pulling me away from more personal stuff online. That means this blog as it’s not a money maker and the bills really do have to be paid no matter what I tell those stupid creditors, jeesh.

Anyway, I think there is some respite starting after the first of the year craziness and I can see the movement back here.

A little site redesign in is order. T-shirts and sweatshirts are in order. And no one has forgotten the first ever convention coming up online.

As suspected and I knew would happen, I can’t plan to work during wrestling season. I need time AFTER to put things in order. From November till mid-February my brain is on one-track and that’s wrestling. It may be better next year as my daughter will be driving so I don’t have to focus a full 6 days a week on the schedule. But it consumes everything for me as I work on either fattening them up or lowering their weight. lol Yes, as it’s the last few weeks of the season it’s coming out like a complaint because I’m done. BUT, I love it.

So these are the reasons I’m a slacker. Then add in that hubby is working, we’ve had quite a bit of fun out shooting, the snow/ice storm hit and then more fun mixed in and my being a slacker is not as bad as I think.

No, it is. There have been a couple of days this week I haven’t done anything. I didn’t even have the energy to stare at the computer. I was just burnt.

Are you excited for what the new year is bringing? I know it’s February but that doesn’t matter. It’s still only 30 days into the year and I have big plans to hit before summer

Categories : Conference, Everyday

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Fun Snow Day

Posted on January 18, 2012 by HotWife

As some of you may have heard around Northern America, we’re in the middle of snowmaggedon here in the Seattle area. WOOHOOOOOO 8″ of snow here.

Thankfully we had so much notice that it’s no big deal for my family and I. We canceled some plans and we have all the essentials. I’d prefer if the power didn’t go out, but we’ll be ok for a bit if that happens as well. Our snow is really wet and heavy so power outages are common. All the trees look like they want to fall over from the weight of it right now.

But yesterday was the day before snowmaggedon was supposed to hit. We just got a taste of it but it was enough to have a snowday. So we called friends and went off to bum their snow. They are up higher in the hills with much more snow than we get. We did a little of everything. Sledding, quading, shooting, everything except a campfire and not sure why that didn’t happen. We just didn’t think of it lol Too many firefighters so why would we start a fire for heat?

It was our oldest first time on a quad and she’s getting her license soon. What better option than to teach her how to slide around in the snow right? She’s a really cautious kid so it was awesome to see her smiling and letting loose a little.

Which is the complete opposite of the youngest you can see in the second picture here. He rigged up an old, little skateboard with some rails for turning and shoelaces as bindings. He spent a bunch of time waxing it up and then wanted to be drug around everywhere by the quad. The men in my life are addicted to youtube and creating stuff.

By the time we got home last night we were beat. I’m amazed I didn’t have a heart attack trekking up the sledding hill in the 8″+ of snow. I then had to walk back down because I didn’t want my video camera broken. Down isn’t easy either when everyone has packed the snow down with sleds and a snowboard and you are trying NOT to fall on your butt.

We had an incredible time with our friends and now I’m even more ready to move onto property. It’s still hard to believe that the guys have a 4 day while this weather is going on. I’m glad for a few reasons. One, we all got to enjoy fun in the snow together. But two, I’d be worried about them going on MVA’s in this. People around here are extra stupid since we don’t get much snow.

Snowmaggedon was supposed to deliver 10″ of snow today, but of course it didn’t. There are still 6.5 hours of the day to go and noaa.gov says more snow, but I’m not holding my breath. We probably got around 4″ today so it was a big disappointment from what was forecasted. Hoping for at least another couple of inches tonight. We even let son’s friend stay over because we expect no school tomorrow. OR they’ll possibly be tired at school since we’ve jinxed the snow by letting him stay over.

I’d like to end this post with a picture of a one of a kind refrigerated picnic table. Don’t you wish you had one to keep your beverages icy cold?

Categories : Everyday, Family

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8 Top Viewed Posts of 2011

Posted on December 27, 2011 by HotWife

The holidays are busy so I’m trying to find some balance between the personal life and getting an early start on my new years business goals. Getting posts up regularly is top of that list here on the site for 2012.

I’ve also been going through stats and seeing what is keeping people entertained.

Here are the top 8 posts viewed for 2011 in no particular order.

Call Waiting

My Knee Hurts Now

Should you Marry a Firefighter?

A Firefighters Wife

Firefighter Christmas Cards

Poem for a Firemans Wife

Pros and Cons of Being a Firewife

Rekindled Fire Christmas Stocking Review

Categories : Everyday

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Merry Christmas to my FireFamily

Posted on December 25, 2011 by HotWife

Oh what a day!

No, I didn’t schedule this post. I’d actually planned on it being a Christmas Eve post but I missed that by a bit. lol It’s 1:30am right now as I start this post and it’s been busy, busy, busy. But it’s been very cool since hubby was on shift and very different than other holiday shifts. It could have been pretty sad easily and I’m thankful for the help making it more fun.

I’d like to start with a disclaimer that I’m up so late because I had to finish my Mom’s present. Of which I could have finished how long ago? My fault completely there. BUT then I also had to wrap other presents. See, hubby was busy harassing me to make a list for over a month of what I wanted for Christmas, but he just made his final list 4 days ago. Yes, that gave me a ton of shopping time didn’t it? Plus it wasn’t the same stuff he was talking about a month ago, then not the same stuff that he said he wanted 2 weeks ago. Got stuff off his list an finally figured out what to get my family as well. Next year I really need to plan that out better.

Thankfully, I was able to buy his Kindle Fire straight out of my own money so I could hide the purchase. We’ll see how it youtubes. That’s the biggest thing he will be doing with it so I think it will work just fine.

When he works on a holiday it kinda sucks. But I try putting new traditions in when I can. If I need them, then of course the kids do as well. I have brought these kids up with odd traditions because of our odd schedule over the years with construction and fire. I was going in with a combo of some previous years plans before the talk went out to have Christmas Even dinner at the station.

Working at the main station means planning any event there can be kind of a joke. It’s generally really busy. However, we all tried to plan for that. We have a Ronco Rotisserie and used it to cook the beef. It didn’t take long and they could set it and forget it. The kids and I were coming in during that time so there was no emergency issue. None of us want to burn down the station. How embarrassing would that be?! All the other wives brought in dishes to share. We had PLENTY of food.

The guys were just cleaning up and most of the dishes done when the tones went off. We got darn lucky with the timing. It was just us girls with the kids waiting to see how long the call would be. We’re all comfortable with each other so it was different than hanging out has been in the past. Fun time chatting a bit, catching up and eventually giving up on the guys coming right back. Lot’s of other stuff we all had to do.

The kids and I then drove around looking at Christmas lights for a couple of hours and annoying each other with music. I wish I had enough power outlets to create the smurf house in red at our house. It was amazing and pictures just can’t give you even close to an idea of how bright it is. Their neighbors must have to get blackout shades to sleep.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas with your family no matter where they may be this year. Look at creating new traditions wherever possible

Categories : Cheers, Everyday, Family

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