It’s difficult sometimes to go around the internet in search of other firefighter wives. So many are full of nothing but complaints and I just want to smack them. I mean I get that our sites, blogs and forums become a place to vent with others that know where we’re coming from. But if it’s nothing but negative do you really expect people to keep coming back?
- He’s gone so much.
- He doesn’t want to do any housework when he gets home, even though I’m a SAHM and he financially supports us 100%.
- He takes so much OT.
- He didn’t come home on time from his second job. (see #1, #2, & #3)
OMG really? If you have any more WTF questions you’ve seen out there let me know, I’d love to address them. lol
I reread this post 3+ times before posting because I knew it would be harsher and I was a little worried about offending. Then it dawned on me that I am who I am and WTF?! When have I given so much worry about what others think? I don’t. If you are looking for your feelings to be validated in your negative approach, then sorry, they won’t be here. I’m real, I’m honest and I’m opinionated. I don’t work on being mean, hence the fact that this post sat in draft for months.
I’ve been married for 17 years now to my high school sweetheart of 21 years. He was gone forever and a day as he worked 13 years as a union commercial carpenter. During the last 6 years of being a carpenter he also was a volunteer for our department. That’s 10 years of being a firefighter. The kids are 15 and 13, easy math that I have had many single mommy moments with little one’s.
Construction took him away for 50+ hours a week with commute. Some weeks were 60, then add in over 10 hours of commuting. THEN add in drill for 3 hours ever Wednesday and any and every class he could take on the weekends. Yeah, get back to me on #1 about him being gone so much.
I’ll add to the mix that he was FREAKIN’ miserable. He hated his job and was looking for so much more.
Now that he’s gone on his long shifts, we actually get more time with him. I can always tell myself (and him if necessary) how much he loves it. We’re always grateful that he’s doing the work he loves now.
So let’s just hit those above complaints that tick me off to much and see if I can’t help make them more positive.
- Calculate just how many waking hours he is gone. Calculate where he would probably need to commute to for another job in order to bring in his income and how many hours he’d have to work to get that same paycheck. It will probably turn into something like I posted above.
- As a SAHM part of my job IS the house. Now in my case I work but the bills are still paid by him. That said, I do create issues where I pick up too much of the time and break the habit of him picking up after himself. It’s easy to do. I hate house cleaning and even wrote an ecourse to help everyone through it ( I HATE Housework ) lol Once I switched my mindset that the cleaning is my job it helped me get over myself.
- I’m consulted if OT will cause a family issue before it’s taken. So I really can’t understand this issue some seem to go through. We welcome OT as it pays for all the fun things we want to do with the kids in theses last few years before they become adults.
- This one I have nothing positive so I’ll keep it short. I’ve only seen this last one complained about by those who also were complaining about 1,2 & 3. For those women I don’t think there is any hope. They need a reality check that they are sitting on their butts complaining about everything while their husbands work two jobs to support the family. Be more productive with that time spent complaining ladies, but those woman aren’t on this blog to see this post anyway.
I’m glad I have found so many great blogs to visit that are a mix of life in the fire service. Of course I know there is a lot of negative, there is in life period. But the blogs I follow are also appreciative of so many things and post about it as well. We can all make the choice to wallow in how life is treating us or focus on all that we are blessed with every day. I’ve been choosing to stick to the blessings and this has meant not frequenting quite a few places online I used to.