I’m feeling spoiled, loved, happy and fulfilled with life. You know, all the things you hope and dream for. Is everything perfect? No, but it’s perfect for me right now and that’s all I can ask.
It’s all going so smoothly that I have to fight back that voice in the back of my head that it’s going too great. That negative voice in my head that tends to tell me I can’t keep everything this perfect for long. Yes, I fight negative demons, but I’ve gotten good at it and it’s not a daily thing I have to do anymore. I’ve also gotten good and making them go quiet and only pop up here and there.
Why am I feeling all these things? I’ve had an amazing few weeks with my family and the funny thing is it all started with our remodeling projects and me getting really sick from it. I was less my usual pansy self when I get my allergies and asthma that bad and just kept “trying” to battle through. I know I wasn’t much help as I was a walking allergy zombie but it was still good. Hubby and I got a few days alone to work on the house, go to lunch whenever and make dinner whenever. It was like a trial run for empty nesters. Since then the communication has been incredible.
Ever since the kids came back they’ve been getting along amazingly. Joking and harassing each other without it causing a big fight. Doing stuff around the house without complaint. Joking and talking with hubby and I and even wanting to hang out with us more. Hey, they are teens, I’ll take that as long as I can before the bubble breaks.
As you can see above, the weather has been beautiful. This is always a help for me. I definitely have the seasonal mood issue and living in the UNsunshine side of the state is a mood killer. The longer the sun is out the better I’m feeling. And the more I can look and see how I can keep feeling this way. Taking advantage of each moment is the key.
Hence the picture above. Hubby bought me a new laptop to work with. I have a 5 hour battery now! I’M SO BEYOND GEEKED! The sun was out, the kids had mowed and I set a goal to finish things up and go outside to blog. I succeeded at that goal. Not with this post like I wanted but that’s ok. I even ate my dinner out there. It wasn’t lonely today with the sunshine to keep me company and I didn’t feel guilty for eating outside the first time of the season without him.
I know some of you just went WHAT?! But yep, it’s a girl thing and it’s worse after the kids. Taking a step any direction brings some niggling of guilt. It’s stupid, but there it is. It’s not like feelings have anything to do with rational behavior or control. But I’m getting good at fighting them down and I just think it takes practice. AND putting myself first again. Which I haven’t been doing the last 5 years. When I put myself first my entire family always gets this way and I need to remember that. The adage, happy Momma, happy family is very true. Because you really set the tone for the emotion in the house.
This post has been all over the place I know. That’s how I am so you can tell this just spilled right out. I’m trying to figure out a good schedule for getting everything done. But most of all, I’m getting my priorities really straight and trying to add other important things in. Without letting that little nag in my head ruin everything. The one that tries to tell me that everything is going too well.
Do you battle with the feeling that everything is going too well sometimes?