Girl shoutsSo the internet is a free for all.  All kinds of crazies out there with a license to write whatever they want on their status.

Then they join groups.  And unless it’s highly moderated, write whatever they feel all over the group’s page.

I read some of that stuff and it disgusts me.  Like someone just word vomited their negativity all over me.  Blech!

And this is one thing that actually drives me to do more and more and more here on Firefighter Wife to bring positive back.

I’m not just talking about word vomiting sunshine all over our page because that’s not helpful either.  You know what is helpful?  Being real.  And honest. And sincere.  With yourself and with others.  About who you are and how you are feeling. And…….(don’t miss this part)…….

Know when and how to say something that leaves us all feeling a little better.  Even if you are having a bad day, we’re left knowing you are not without hope and how we can pray for you. 

And you’ve avoided the road to name calling, gossip and basic “I’m tired so I’m going to take it out on you” kind of behavior.

It all starts with how we think.  The feelings in our heart and the thoughts in our head come blasting right out of our mouth.   If you can learn to control your tongue a split second longer, you give your heart and brain a chance to catch up and reframe the message to something more positive.

So many of you have really, really, really (I’d write a hundred reallys here) tough stuff going on in your life.  I feel your hearts in what you write on this site.  And it’s what compels me to keep moving forward with all of the projects here at Firefighter Wife.  Because I can’t change the whole world but I’m going to work my you know what off making any little place I can a little better.   And the more people we get thinking like that, the better we leave the world for our children and grandchildren.

It all starts with a positive outlook.

And this is why we are focusing our daily Fire Strong Challenge on being positive.   You all may have a misconception that I’m really good at this (and hence writing this post).  Actually, it’s something I need to work really hard at (and hence have studied immensely and tried everything and want to share what I know for sure works.)

Happiness and positive thinking doesn’t come from just sitting around and forcing your brain to feel good.  That’s garbage and don’t believe anyone who tells you that.

Bad moods and negative attitudes are literally chemical reactions happening in our brains and you can’t always think your way out of that. But you can try this…

  • Physically move.  Leave your desk.  Leave the room.  Walk around the block.  Walk around the couch.  Do 10 jumping jacks.  Force a physical reset.
  • Drink a glass of water.  It brings energy and refreshment.
  • Take a deep breath and clear your mind.
  • Smell something that smells good.  A candle.  Essential Oils.  Any kind of aromatherapy.
  • Pray.  While you are doing any of the above.

So, this works for the moment but what happens if you get into this mode over and over?  It can be really frustrating.  This is sometimes where I get stuck in a rut.   But it’s not a hopeless rut because I know you can transform your mind and renew your heart.  It says so in the B-I-B-L-E and that is the book for me (and a gazillion other people…not sure you are a believer?  You can still learn a lot from Proverbs).

To make that positive attitude permanent, practice some of these actions:

  • “Write it on your doorposts” (Deuteronomy 6:9) I have signs and sticky scriptures all over my house, my computer, my notebooks, my cell phone, my refrigerator, so I am never away from positive messages.  I try to make them drown out all the negativity.
  • Make it a habit, a pattern, a system, to do a physical attitude shift like I described above at least 3 times a day, or even better, once an hour.
  • Repeat positive affirmations to yourself.  I am loved.  I am capable.  I am strong.
  • Surround yourself with people who are speaking the positives into your life.  Find a mentor.  I went for long seasons without a mentor in my life and those were some of the darkest.  It is powerful to have someone reflect back to you your strengths and abilities.
  • “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  (Phil 4:8)  I go through seasons when I need to not watch TV, not listen to the news and focus only on pure and praiseworthy influences in my life.  I listen to inspirational podcasts or we watch Netflix documentaries instead.  Does this sound boring to you?
  • Read.
  • Practice makes perfect.  Do these things over and over and over.

Basically what I’m saying is THERE ARE NO EXCUSES!

If you are thinking ‘but I….” right now then you’ve missed the point.  Although I haven’t walked in your shoes exactly, I know there is a God who has plans to abundantly bless you and all you have to do is start moving in a positive direction with tiny baby steps.  Heck, you can even make giant leaps backwards and He’s still going to love you and want to bless you abundantly.

And this is why we have a Fire Strong Daily Challenge.  Every day we should be taking a baby step in that positive direction.

firestrongstone

Will you take the pledge?  Are you ready to get FIRE STRONG?

For immediate encouragement, join the private wives group, follow along on Facebook or Instagram and raise your right hand and swear

“I am ready to make a change in my life in a positive direction.  It does not matter what is going on around me.  I am in control of my own thoughts and actions and can take baby steps towards a more positive outlook.  I will seek people and resources to help keep me on track.  I believe that I am worth it and that happiness is meant for me.”

I am behind each and every one of you looking to make a positive change in your life.  I am honored to be walking this journey with you.

Sincerely your Fire Wife Sister,

Lori (pssst….I’m a WifeOnFire for your hearts girls!)

 

PS – I do have a very important small disclaimer.  There is something I can’t do for Fire Wives.

I’m not a psych-any-kind-of-ist.  And I’m not sitting across a table looking into your eyes for our conversations.   But I have you captive for this moment as you read this.  So listen close. I believe every single one of us needs a personal counselor.  Not your BFF or sister, but a real life counselor.  For all those really-big-tough-stuffs, all I can do is encourage you to seek professional help.  Please understand that before you pour your heart out on Facebook.  If you are hopelessly depressed, dealing with a cheating spouse, struggling with any kind of diagnosed mental illness, addiction or suicidal thought, stop whatever you are doing on the internet and get help.

There is free, anonymous help for our First Responders at Safe Call Now.   And if anyone is having thoughts of suicide, you can find help at Suicidepreventionlifeline.org

 

 

 

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Firefighter Wife on a mission to save fire marriages, nurture and encourage other fire wives and love on Jesus, my firefighter and our 4 kids. Blessed to be leading this amazing community of Fire Wives.

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