I’d like to introduce Molly Warf.
Molly is married to Cole, a full-time EMT and also a volunteer firefighter for six years at South Barren Fire Department. They are from Glasgow, Kentucky and are expecting their FIRST child! Molly is a full time student working towards a degree in Elementary Education and a member of the Fire Wife Sisterhood. I was privileged to meet Molly at Flame Fest 2013.
How did you two meet?
We met while I was up visiting a friend who had grown up with Cole. A bunch of us went to a restaurant and I sat across from him. Being a volunteer firefighter he always had his radio on him. I had not been around firefighters until I met him so when the night was over I asked my friend what the deal was with the guy who had the way outdated cell phone. And then my learning phase of the fire department started.
Best advice you’ve received about being a firefighter’s wife?
This is a tough one. I struggled for the first two years of our relationship with the time commitment. We had to find a balance as a family of family time and fire time. I hit a crossroads of he is not going to stop doing what he loves and I shouldn’t ask him to. So I either had to love this life or I was going to continue to be resentful, which I knew would cause problems in the long run. This is when I found FirefighterWife.com. There are no words to describe how much this helped me get through that time and adjust to being a fire wife that was proud of what he was doing and encouraging of the time it takes. The change in my attitude came when I started to get more involved. Getting to know the things that he was involved in and showing an interest, this made all the difference.
How do you survive the worry of him being hurt or killed on the job?
I used to be really bad about staying up and listing to the radio when he was on calls. I learned very quickly to not do this. The part that was tough for me was the silence. But it took talking about it to realize that if nothing major or bad is happening usually they are talking face to face and not on the radio. But to me silence on the radio was bad because I needed to know he was okay. So learning that silence can also be a good thing that nothing is wrong and I don’t always need to go there in my head.
How do you occupy your time?
I went back to finish my degree after taking two years off. This has been good because I have less time to worry about him. If I’m not in school I love crafting or being on the lake.
Do you have any traditions or rituals?
I don’t ask how his day has been when he’s at work or on a fire. My non fire friends think this is crazy but if I ask and he says its going good then he will get a late run and be held over, so I stopped asking.
How do you celebrate holidays/birthdays/events if your FF is working?
Holidays are tricky since we are not from the same city. I am from Nashville which is two hours from where we live now. We try to switch his shift at work with someone who has younger kids since we do not have any of our own yet and want them to be able to enjoy the holiday with the kids. Our families understand that we do not have a normal holiday schedule but we are still trying to figure out a system that works for everyone. Events can be tricky flying solo. Thankfully most of our friends are either in fire/ems or understand what its like. It took awhile for me to get comfortable going to events by myself. Once I got out of my resentful phase I was better about going to events alone and its been a lot more fun then staying home listening to the radio.