It’s the last Fire Wife Hot Spot of 2013. I hope you’ve all enjoyed getting to know the women of the Fire Wife Sisterhood as much as I have. In today’s hot seat is Lindsey Acciarito and I’ll let her introduce herself. Thank you for sharing with us Lindsey.
I am Lindsey and I am married to Nick. He’s a firefighter with Dekalb County Fire Rescue and is currently stationed at the oldest (and cutest) station in the county, located in Avondale Estates, Georgia. We live in Norcross, just north of Atlanta. We’ve been married almost nine months. I work for a nonprofit organization called Camp Sunshine as a Special Events and Communications Manager. We do year round programs for kids with cancer and their families, including a huge summer camp program, family camps, spa nights, bereavement support, and sibling activities – more than 140 programs a year! My job is to run our two big annual fundraisers, to work with the more than 30 third party fundraisers that happen annually, manage our website and social media outlets and do all of our public relations. I also help out with a lot of our programs and coordinate our holiday gift program for families who need a little extra help at Christmas.
How did you two meet?
We met three years ago when Nick applied to work at Netherworld Haunted House. I had worked there for the past ten years as a monster and was running the application and interview process when he arrived. We got to talking and discovered that my office was in his fire station’s territory. I thought he was cute but waaaaaay too young for me – he was only 22! I am ten years older than he is! Before he left, he leaned across the table and told me that I needed to pull his phone number out of his file and shoot him a text sometime. I thought he was nuts. I was bored at work one day, so I looked up his number in his records and texted him some smartass comment about how he must be a lazy firefighter because I hadn’t heard any sirens outside that day. He figured out it was me pretty quickly, responded and we’ve been talking ever since!
Was he a fireman when you met or did that come after?
Nick was about a year into the fire service when we met.
Do you remember your initial thoughts about him being in the fire service?
I was just glad to meet a guy who had a job. It was nice that his station was so close to my office – we spent a lot of time visiting back and forth! I really enjoyed getting to know his crew and learning about the trucks – he loved to show off when I’d stop by! Our first kiss was at that fire station. We were sitting in an engine at that same station when he first told me he loved me.
Have those thoughts changed? If so, how?
Not really. I rather enjoy getting a day to myself every three days so his schedule is perfect for me! He loves what he does and I love that he loves it. It’s rare to find someone who actually has a job that, for the most part, they enjoy.
Has he ever had any close calls?
If he has, he hasn’t told me! Nick is a ‘white cloud’ – he has seen hardly any fire in the last three years and blames it all on me. He says I put a voodoo curse on him to keep him safe – he tells EVERYONE. Even his captains and chiefs. He did have a four alarm fire one day when I was visiting him at the station. I followed the truck to see what was going on because he was so excited. Apparently he and his captain were on the nozzle inside the apartment building that was on fire; their radios malfunctioned and only knew to get out because Nick looked back and saw one of the other captains gesturing and screaming like crazy. They backed out a minute before the ceiling fell in. Of course, he thought it was awesome!
What helps you keep worrying at bay? (-OR-) What do you do when you are worrying?
I am not really much of a worrier. Worrying does nothing except make me miserable, so what’s the point? It doesn’t help anything and doesn’t make any difference! It’s a waste of energy and time. Keeping busy makes the time pass quickly. Also, I trust in his training, his brain and his crew. I know that he knows what he’s doing.
What is the #1 quality you think a woman has to have (or grow to have) to be a firefighter’s wife?
I think that the #1 quality you have to have is to not take everything too seriously. If I don’t hear back from Nick when I call or text, I know he is busy on a call. No big deal. He’ll call me when he can and it doesn’t mean that something is wrong if he doesn’t respond right away. Sometimes he has to work on a holiday or on a date when there is an event. No big deal. I figure out how to make it special in a different way or I find a friend to take as a date. Turning everything into an argument or a crisis just makes things miserable. Nick has said many times that he loves the fact that I don’t freak out about little stuff.
Perks of being a firefighter wife?
My favorite perk is that he is home during the day for most of the week, so I can schedule things while he’s home and POOF! It just magically happened while I was at work! He is also happy to help out around the house during the day when I’m at work. It’s so nice to come home and have things done and not have to do everything yourself!
Do you have any rituals about saying goodbye when he leaves for shift or if when you end a phone call when he is on shift?
I always tell him that I love him and to be safe.
What is the best advice you could offer anyone in a relationship with a fireman?
The best advice I can give is that you have to be flexible, patient and not freak out when he’s working. And don’t even worry about the hose humpers and badge bunnies – they are lame and if your firefighter is a good guy then he already knows that.
What does the Sisterhood provide for you?
The Sisterhood has given me a group of girlfriends who know exactly what it’s like to live this life. They don’t question, they don’t judge and they get it when I need to kvetch about something. They are there to commiserate and there to celebrate. I don’t have a lot of female friends, so this has been a nice change for me. A lot of my friends are really negative or just want to talk about politics or crappy stuff; the girls of the Sisterhood aren’t like that at all!
We know what your firefighter’s passion is, but what sets YOUR heart on fire?
I love adventure! I’ve been trekking in the Himalayas, hang gliding, sky diving, skyscraper rappelling… I’m always looking for the next crazy activity! My next adventure is an African safari next summer. I am also really into community theatre; I’ve been in a few plays recently and am on the board at a theatre. It’s a lot of fun and I’ve met a ton of great friends!
Is the fire family a close knit one in his department?
Nick’s crew at his station is very close but I don’t know any of the other wives. The department is huge; he has friends spread widely across the nearly 30 stations.
Many of the wives are either also involved with the department or want to be, how about you?
I like to take treats or dinner to Nick’s station every now and then. I’d love to be more involved if there was a wives auxiliary or something, but I don’t think there is one. I don’t have the experience or the ability to start one, but I’d definitely support it if someone did get it going.
Has there ever been a time in your relationship that you thought the fire service would ruin your relationship? What helped move pass that?
Nah. If anything it has helped our relationship!
There is a large working fire in your firefighter’s jurisdiction, what runs through your mind?
“Hmmm… I wonder if Nick is actually getting to fight some fire? Haha, probably not! My curse is working! Muahhaahahha!!!!!!”
Tough and often touchy topic… Have you had “the talk” with your fireman about his last wishes if he were to ever die in the line of duty?
Sort of. Nick has told me about the options he selected when he was in the academy for his funeral and burial, but we haven’t gone over any paperwork or anything. I don’t like talking about it but I know it’s necessary.
Did anyone warn you or give you any advice early in your relationship in regards to him being a firefighter?
Oh yeah! I had a girlfriend who only dated firemen and said that they were all cheaters and liars! I have also heard that they are major players. I have not found this to be true for most of the firefighters I have met!
Join us every first and third Monday of each month to read more on the fire wives of the Fire Wife Sisterhood. To learn more about the Fire Wife Sisterhood and see how to join, click HERE. See you all next year!