Everyday :: Firefighter Wife

I’m Occupy Broke

Posted on November 23, 2011 by HotWife

Right now, I’m sorry I have’t had the energy to post, but I’m literally lost by the occupy tweets and posts I’ve seen. I don’t usually get so political here, but if you are going to jump down the cops throats that are out there protecting my husband on every call and that have shown up when I call 911, then you SUCK.

You can read the twitter crap here.

If you feel there wasn’t something correctly portrayed please let me know. I’ll be more than happy to share more posts before and after. But those were how the conversation went.

Policemen DO NOT want to push violence on anyone and anyone that thinks that is a complete unthinking moron. All cops want to get home to their loved one’s. Just like all the soldiers overseas want to get home to their loved one’s. Oh, she made an analogy, that’s not ok. It’s the same thing to those of us that love those of us that are out of there protecting you.

I was in an incredible mood because my kids rock. Grocery shopping sucked as the holiday season idiots are out, but then the kids fixed that. Then I got home late tonight and saw that so many are against cops for the few incidents.

Please don’t forget. Those cops, those firefighters, those husbands, those dad’s, those brothers, those wives, and those sisters are TOLD to be safe and get their butts home to us that love them more than anything else in the world. If you think your demo that is breaking the law can come between my knowing he is coming home safe, then you need a reality adjustment. Come on over, I’ll improve you over coffee.

Categories : Everyday

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Volunteer Wife with a Newborn

Posted on November 11, 2011 by HotWife

Being a volunteer wife was so very much more difficult than this paid gig. Hands down, no comparison. I fully understand this new mom’s frustration with it all. Grab a coffee or glass of wine depending on your time of day, this is going to be a long one

Q: I want to know what advice you have for a volunteer wife with a newborn who is, well…let’s just put it out there. I’m bitter. I’m proud of my husband (as evidenced by the pile of fire service related baby gear I have purchased for my 3month old *girl* ….), but I’m tired of being at home alone all day with the baby while he’s at work, and then being home alone 2 nights a week, plus a weekend day, plus the time he’s on duty at the station (ours is a hybrid department with volunteers on duty outside of daylight weekdays) – he’s in fire school those 2 weeknights and weekend day…and when they start burns, it’ll be all weekend.
He’s missing out on seeing our little girl grow, I’m exhausted, and he’s not even getting paid for it!!

I like the guys on his crew, and I like their wives and girlfriends, but we are the only ones with a child so far…so I don’t exactly have a lot of built in support there, plus, since he’s a probie…there’s a certain amount of distance there.

My family all think he’s being selfish and he should quit – I’m at a loss to explain that if I really put my foot down, he would quit…and be resentful and awful to be around because of it. This is important to him. So how do I deal with it?

A: I’m very thankful that when my husband joined the dept as a volunteer my youngest was already one and a half, possibly closer to two. But that doesn’t mean he was home much while they were newborns. He had to work a ton of extra hours and side jobs so I could stay home with the kids. Working jobs he hated. He sadly missed a lot and that is something we stay-at-home-moms have to realize. We get to see everything, it’s a burden and a blessing. They do feel bad that they miss major events, they just carry their emotions so differently.

Addressing the time alone. Are you also stuck at home because of only one vehicle? Or can you set up playdates and get out of the house to visit friends? How about going to the library for a reading time/interactive class with other moms? Check community bulletin boards for a new mommy meet up or post one of your own. It’s too bad there aren’t moms in your department you could try to hook up with. That would be the easiest option.

Also, it sounds like you could use a date night and/or a girls night. Set a date. Can’t get a sitter, then your date is at home as soon as the baby goes to bed.

Money was beyond tight when the kids were little, but I bought a family pass to our local zoos and the kids and I went each week at least once. My kids are teens and still talk about the animals by name lol We created our own priceless memories and it gave us stuff to talk to Dad about when we got the chance to see him.

I assume that he is working towards getting on paid somewhere. Think of this the same as going to school. He really does need to put his time in if he wants to get a full-time position somewhere. The experience and connections are priceless when it comes down to being hired. It sucks, but it’s an investment in your families future. The time he will get to spend with the family when he gets hired on is amazing. Sure he’ll also miss things then as well, but my husband now gets to go to so many more sporting events than he ever could have when he was working construction.

It’s rough when they don’t get paid for it. HOWEVER, if it’s like our volunteer dept was at all, someone could and would literally die if he didn’t go on calls. Our dept was quite small and didn’t have a lot of active volunteers. Yes, there were times I did become “selfish” and tell him to turn the pager off but it was rare. Our dept didn’t have any set work times, it was on-call 24/7/365. Since, I rarely pulled the “turn the pager off” card it didn’t cause a problem. He knew I was about to lose my mind if he didn’t stay home lol

As far as the family goes, OUCH. DOUBLE OUCH! I can’t imagine not having had my families support fully and you really need to explain that to them like you did to me. Is it better that he becomes bitter and resentful and possibly divorce? Or is it better to be supportive of what he wants to do and have him be a happy husband and daddy? You need their support now probably more than you ever have before. Let them know that.

My Mom always wants events at her house. It’s a huge deal to her. Yet, while he was a volunteer she wouldn’t complain if we had it at our house so he could go on calls. Especially when we’d know ahead of time that quite a few volunteers were going to be out of town over a holiday. Even if we went to their house (11 miles away, but was out of district) we sometimes would take two cars so he could leave for a call if necessary. Or he’d show up later than me after returning from a call. This was when we were getting close to being merged with our paid dept and the call volume was really high for the amount of volunteers we had.

One thing that helped me often was to think of the military wives. If we think this is rough, imagine how rough it is for them. How many wives have had their babies and their husband couldn’t be there at all, let alone not meeting the babies until they are a year or even older? Just a little perspective that couold help through basic rough days.

But that doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to be hurt or even angry. Especially with your lack of sleep and hormones that are still a wreck. Let him know that things are rough. If he sees you always keeping it together then he probably thinks it’s all under control and going smoothly. I’m positive you’ve left hints, but as my husband told me out right when we first got together, “I don’t get hints, you have to tell me”. Boy, we had no idea back when we were 17 & 18, how much that statement would help us over all these years. I’m pretty sure that goes for all guys. Communicate how you are feeling and it will help ease your pressure so much!

Alright volunteer and paid wives, what are some ways you’ve worked through the newborns and babies? LaDonna this one is definitely one you have a ton of advice for I’m sure. Please, please feel free to pass on any posts you may have put up on your blog that can help her

Categories : Everyday, Fire Questions

Comments (16)

Got Some Spare Time Guys?

Posted on by HotWife

I haven’t posted a video in a while and I’m obviously losing my knack at finding the funny ones on youtube. I kept getting dancing stuff that wasn’t all that funny.

But look at what I did find!

Categories : Everyday

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Audio and Video

Posted on November 10, 2011 by HotWife

It’s the end of the year, any idea what that means? EVALUATIONS!

No, not for his work, I have nothing to do with that, but in my own business. Instead of driving myself crazy by taking the last week of the year and going over every aspect of my business, I go through a process. Then the last week of the year I take one day with my pen and notebook and really hit it hard. It honestly takes the full day and by evening a bottle of wine as well. lol

As I start the process I look at adding and taking away things as it seems appropriate. Right now I don’t have anything around here that isn’t working since I have kept this more of a “personal” blog. Can’t go wrong with posting thoughts and feelings, I just need to work on posting more often.

But I’m wondering about adding audio and video. We’ll be getting a video camera here very soon (fingers crossed) so we can record wrestling matches and I can also record cooking episodes. I know that video blogs are big for many because of the personal contact. But it’s definitely out of my comfort zone. One I can get over, but still, it’s a goal.

I’m wondering what your opinion is about audio and video. If you can take the quick poll below I’d appreciate it. It will help me work on goals for 2012.

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Categories : Everyday

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Female Firefighter Jealousy

Posted on October 25, 2011 by HotWife

Some questions take me a little longer to answer than others. They get a little deeper and I just may not be in a position to hit them up. Please don’t get discouraged but I have to be in a decent mindset to answer things without giving a smartass response or sounding cranky in my reply. Plus as you’ll notice I don’t blog here every day so I like to get other posts set up between the questions.

But I’ve got another question to answer about our guys working with female co-workers. I’m sure many of us have co-ed departments and can relate to how we’ve dealt with different aspects in our own personal life.

Q: My boyfriend has been on the fd for about a year now. A woman just recently joined and they have become pretty close (texting, calling, etc.). He assures me he thinks of her as “one of the guys.” I know it’s silly, but do I have the right to be jealous? How do I overcome this? Has this ever happened to you? We’re thinking about getting married (we’ve been together 4 years), so I know deep down that I have nothing to worry about. I think I need some reassurance from a woman who has probably dealt with this before. My friends are immature and thinks that he’s going to cheat. I want advice on how to get over this darn jealousy! Thank you!

A: First if something bothers you then you need to feel comfortable enough in your relationship to be able to talk to your boyfriend about it. It doesn’t have to be rational thoughts you just need to be rational when you are bringing them to his attention.

It’s true he may think of her as one of the guys. I’m just one of the guys to many BUT that doesn’t mean I will put my husband in a position where he feels uncomfortable. I don’t have co-ed friendships that my spouse isn’t a part of and when I was training I was very aware of how much I talked about my male clients. It’s not easy but I tried to put myself in his shoes and how I might feel if I was constantly hearing about one of the women he works with. While I know nothing would be going on, it still sends irrational messages in my brain.

Hubby worked a lot with one of the women in our dept in his first couple of years. At first it was a little rough because of stupid thoughts going on in my head. He’d worked with other women in construction but of course this “living” in the same place was a different aspect to get used to. I’m sure I got over my ridiculousness quicker because I met her so many times and met her husband as well.

Then there are the friends you mentioned who I assume aren’t in the firelife. Why are they saying he’s going to cheat? Just because he works with a woman? It’s pretty safe to assume they work with a lot more men, so the odds are higher that they will cheat with their co-workers if that’s the correlation used. If they just think it’s funny then I’d probably have a chat with them and tell them it’s not cool and you don’t find it funny. Usually all it takes is telling your friends that something they do bothers you and they will stop. If not, well that’s a whole other issue to work with.

If he’s texting and phone calling more than you like then it would be a good idea to address it. I’d also suggest having a get together so you can get to know her. Whether it’s dinner at your house or going out somewhere for drinks it will help you a lot if you can at least chat with her for a few hours. Will make you more comfortable when you find out she has absolutely no thoughts of moving in to your relationship.

Any of you ladies had the jealousy issue pop up and can offer advice?

Categories : Everyday, Fire Questions

Comments (12)

Firefighters Get Lots of Sleep

Posted on October 17, 2011 by HotWife

Right? I mean, they sleep all night, that’s when society sleeps so they are just getting paid to sleep as well. ROFLMAO and wishing everyone could sleep at the station at least once so they’d understand.

I loved reading Extra-busy fire unit answers the calls nearly nonstop here except for the part that they eluded to this not being the norm for most stations. I really like firehouse.com but that is not where I’m going to go pull call stats. lol

Being able to take naps is the norm in most departments, because if they didn’t take naps when needed they’d get no sleep at all. Even while hubby was volunteer he was stuck in mostly nap mode, it’s why he could transition so well I think. He’d work all day (12-16 hours with commute) then go on calls when he got home. Some days that left very little sleep before getting up again at 5am to start the 12-16 hours up again. That was 6 days a week with only 1 day of recovery before starting again. Yes, we are ever so thankful to be doing just the one job now so he has 36 hours of recovery in there and we can spend time with him.

Since January he’s been at a new station. In the previous 4 years a full night constituted sleeping 5 hours. Now after moving to new station and the reconfiguring of the district he tells me he got a full night sleep when it was 3 hours.

This is where I step in completely. There is nothing we ever have going on that he can’t miss the day after working. I just don’t schedule it. If it’s kids stuff then it’s usually later afternoon/evening so there is no worry of missing it. But my priority is getting him sleep.

I get the rundown of his night usually and I gear how long his nap will be. Don’t judge me, he only gets less than a 2 hour nap if he wakes up on his own. lol He’s also very happy that I monitor it if I can because if he sleeps too long it messes him up.

So don’t think because my husband works a 24 hour shift that he is only working 8 of it. He’s working all 24, plus he’s using the next 24 to recover. This leaves me with 72 hours of shift and then 72 hours of recovery in a set. 6 days are spent this way, then we’ll have 3 days to enjoy some family time before another 6 days of adjusting occurs.

I don’t ask for pity. It is what we signed up for and we are so happy to be living it. It’s much better than the 6 days of 60 hour work week, then 12 hour commute, plus calls at night. I never saw him then and he never got down time. It was literally killing him. My job is to keep that from happening. My job is to manage his down time and make sure he gets enough rest so he can help you on your call. I’m not just his wife, I’m also your backup.

Categories : Everyday, Family

Comments (7)

We’re Pink for the Cure

Posted on October 16, 2011 by HotWife

Breast cancer runs in my family. Not just my family but both sides. My aunt battled it before the age of 40. I’m 38 and she and I are not very far apart in years as she’s the big baby of the family. LOVE YOU if you somehow see this Aunt R. lolol My paternal Grandma (namesake) battled it twice and had the most aggressive type the first time. She was under 60 that first time she battled and won. 20 years later she was sadly in poor health and couldn’t fight it.

I don’t know too many people that haven’t had someone they know battle breast cancer. Which means more than numbers to me. If everyone I know has had a loved one affected by breast cancer, then the numbers are staggering. Thank goodness the survival numbers have become incredible!

Because of my family history and my increasing age my doc was all for me getting a mammogram ”early”. I had it done just a few months ago and I’m 38. I’m thankful I have an insurance plan that paid for it before the age of 40. It’s really good for women with a family history to have a baseline to compare for future mammograms. We would have paid out of pocket if necessary because we both feel it’s important with my family history.

It definitely wasn’t fun, but it didn’t hurt. Uncomfortable yes. My tech was awesome and talked me through it all. I asked a ton of questions and joked with her. I really don’t know how you would get it done if you had fake boobs, it must hurt like hell and she said they are often having to do it more than once because it’s difficult to see the. Hmm, another con for fake boobs besides the price.

This is the second year our dept has made shirts for October and Breast Cancer Awareness month. I’m not a pink girl, but I required a shirt be ordered for me each year. lol Last year they were a very light pink and I wish I’d gotten a picture at the station. This year they are an awesome hot pink as you can see above and I WILL get a pic of the guys at the station. They usually pick a day that everyone on shift wears them across the district. Hubby looked much better in the light pink, this dark pink will probably be a little much for his coloring. HENCE why I have to get pics. Yeah, I’m evil, whatever. I don’t rock the lighter pink as well, so we’re even.

We still have shirts available for purchase if you have a dept that doesn’t sell them. I will be glad to hook you up. It’s $24.95 with shipping. $20 goes to the union, with $8 going to Susan G. Komen foundation. Then $4.95 for USPS priority shipping. I’ll eat the paypal charges for the transaction. We have quite a few different sizes available, but some are in really limited quantities. So if there is a size you want I need to double check, then I will send you a paypal invoice if they can set it aside for me. I’m rocking the mens cut because they were already out of women’s large by the time my order went in. My daughter has the women’s cut and it’s very similar but has more capped sleeves. It’s the same crew neckline.

Unisex/Men’s sizes:

small
medium
large
XXL

Women’s sizes:

small
medium

Besides our dept having these shirts for sale I have a friend that is looking for shirts from all departments. If your dept sells pink shirts she is looking for you. Her Grandma is a breast cancer survivor and she wants to honor her. I get it which is why I’m here to help. If your dept is selling pink shirts for breast cancer awareness month, please, please let me know. I have a contact form and you can leave a comment here so I can get back to you. Your email address on your comment is only viewable by me so no worries you will be spammed. Please let me know asap so I can pass the info on.

Categories : Everyday, Fundraising, Remembered, Shop

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Jammy Day and Coffee

Posted on October 15, 2011 by HotWife

I had a dilemma today. You may have had this issue come up as well. It’s jammy day for me. I have a ton of work to catch up on from this week. Plus I woke up with a big kink in my neck and it hurts so bad. HATE that! It’s just the kids and I at home and right now only one kid even. I’m not picking the other one up from his friends house until after dinner.

It may be noon, but I need coffee dang it. I’m not really supposed to drink it but again, read above, I’m trying to catch up on work and I really need to crank it out. Plus, what does noon matter when you only got out of bed at 10:30? My system thinks it’s still morning. I also have to stay up late. Daughter and her friends are going to a bonfire then coming back here to sleepover. I’ll need to be up late to make sure everyone safely gets here.

The dilemma? Oh right, get past the rambling. I needed coffee and I really didn’t want to get dressed. I’ve run down the street for coffee many times in my jammies but their coffee is just horrible lately. So I’d need to drive another mile or so into town. Hmm, this means a longer trip, more likely hood of some idiot running into me. Yeah, I do worry that some butthead will run in to me when I’m looking oh so glamorous. I don’t care if the barista sees me in my jammies they are used to that. See how funny this dilemma is? But here’s the kicker!

I changed into jeans real quick before going and I went less than 4 miles round trip. The reason why? We live in district. If some idiot causes an accident I don’t want hubby showing up to the call and I’m in my jammies. lol Or worse yet, he’s not on the call and it’s just our friends making fun of me for being in my jammies. It’s not that he doesn’t know I’m going to be in them most of the day and it’s not that my friends aren’t going to read this and know. lmbo But the thought of possibly being everyone’s laugh at being the call of the day made me put jeans on. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? I could see if I was miss fashion, but I’m very far from that.

So there’s my funny story for today. I’ll be spending a lot of today in the exact position of my picture. I don’t need to be dressed up to work from home

Have you ever changed your plans or your clothes because your afraid of who’ll show up on any call you’d be in? I can’t say this is a first either cause we’ve lived in district since he started being a firefighter. Feel free to tell me I’m the only one, I can take it.

Categories : Everyday

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Conference Ideas

Posted on October 5, 2011 by HotWife

I’m in the midst of working on the first conference in March. I’ve contacted some speakers and I want to know who else I should contact and what topics you are interested in. Topics don’t have to be strictly fire related.

I’ll be speaking on starting your blog or moving to your own hosting if you’ve already started on a free platform.

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