Family :: Firefighter Wife

Fire Men: Stories from Three Generations of a Firefighting Family Book Review

Posted on September 15, 2011 by HotWife

Fire Men starts right off grabbing your attention in the introduction. I like that about a book, but especially an autobiography. Gary gave us a little drama, lots of action and a peak into the relationships we were going to hear more about. And believe me, I wanted to hear more.

I love the way he is passing background information about his or a family members career while not boring me with too much descriptive details. There are fun stories interjected along with tidbits of history.

I’m pretty sure I was annoying my hubby because I had to read a paragraph here and there to him. Yes, I know he’s going to read the book as well, but I don’t like giggling by myself out loud. So many of these stories are vaguely familiar and I’m sure you will start giggling out loud while you read read them.

But just a word of warning to you spouses, this isn’t a total feel good book. There are stories recounted in this book that you may want to skip over parts as they do get a little graphic. Those of us that have been the debriefing for our husbands won’t have a problem, it’s not anything we haven’t heard when they come home. But, I know there are many that have been more “sheltered” for lack of a better word and I’m not sure you’ll want to read the details. It’s worth skipping over those parts. There is also strong language used. I just want you to know it going in so it doesn’t surprise you and ruin the book for you if language bothers you.

This book kept my attention completely which is not the easiest at the moment. I loved hearing the stories. Especially those that involved two generations together. Ironically our son is the same age (13) that Gary says his son started showing interest. Even more ironically, hubby has been talking recently about having him come to hang out at the station. Our son was the victim on a drill. He was crammed in small spaces because he could fit, lowered from high places while tied down in a basket and asks constantly when they need a victim again. Haven’t seen the “switch” get clicked over with him saying he wants to do it himself, but he’s still young

I really enjoyed this memoir and highly recommend it. It was quick on the stories, not taking three chapters to get one incident described. This is a great book to pick up for your husband for Christmas. I know you don’t want to think of the holidays coming up already, but start your stash of presents right now and make it easy on yourself.

Just so you know, I did receive a digital copy of the book in order to do this review. However, you guys all know my opinions are my own and a free copy of a book won’t change that. lol

I recommend being the first of your fire family to grab a copy of Fire Men: Stories from Three Generations of a Firefighting Family. If you are looking for more stories you can go to the books website fire-men-book.com. Gary is also on twitter and facebook.

Here is a video trailer of the book.

Categories : Everyday, Family, Shop

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Warrior Movie Review

Posted on August 26, 2011 by HotWife

I told you earlier this week that I got a couple of tickets to screen the new movie WARRIOR and how excited I was to go see it with hubby. By the way you still have until August 29th to nominate the warrior in your life for a grand prize of a private hometown screening. Seeing as we’re all firefighter wives here we’ve all got at least one person to nominate easily. Or maybe the warrior is YOU for all the battling you do for your family?! Just get that nomination in quick.

For those of you unfamiliar with the movie, it’s about two estranged brothers who are training for the fight of their lives. Between financial issues, major personal issues and the problems that tore them apart, much more than MMA is brought to the ring at sparta.

I grew up watching boxing with my Dad and we watch the MMA pay-per-views whenever possible. My daughter also wrestles (son will this year!). I love a good fight and I’m a sucker for the underdog in the cage, on the mat or in a movie. Just something about that fighting spirit and never stopping until you achieve your goal that gets me every time.

Hubby and I rarely get out to the movies just the two of us. I know all you parents can relate, it’s difficult to bump it up on the priority list. I was happy not to be forcing a chick flick on him here. However, if you aren’t into the fights then it’s full of some serious eye candy girls! Hey, there are ring girls for the guys too. But if you can’t watch the fights on tv then I’m not sure if you’ll love Warrior as much as I did. It’s full of awesome fight scenes.

Brendan (Joel Edgerton, left) and Frank Campana (Frank Grillo, right) in WARRIOR. Photo credit: Chuck Zlotnick

Even though I know the fights were choreographed (duh, it’s a movie), I was still cringing, ducking and wanting to yell at the screen. I’m not very quiet when I watch sports. lol They did a great job with making the fight scenes look real.

The story line was surprisingly good. I wasn’t expecting a packed story line for this genre of movie. I know it’s technically a drama, but with the theme of the movie I expect it to be more heavy on the action and leave it at a basic story. There were quite a few battles going on that weren’t physical. Conflicts in personal relationships, work issues, broken family dynamics, just like in real life. Yet with all of the stories going on it’s easy to follow. It’s not jumping around from person to person, everything is interconnected.

The humor was great. Tom and Tess have some very funny moments. She cracked me up quite a few times with her digs. Their marriage comes off realistically because of the joking while dealing with major problems. You have to love the high school principal as well.

I loved the movie. I definitely recommend seeing it in theaters so you can cringe and duck with the blows. I’m looking forward to my son seeing it, I know he’s going to like it a lot too.

Warrior opens next Friday, September 9th. Hopefully, not long after we will hear that someone has created a true sparta

For the record, it’s 3 months until wrestling season. Momma will start their training this weekend. This movie gave me the bug. I can’t wait to see them on the mat again!

Categories : Cheers, Everyday, Family, Inspiration and Poems

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Funky Reposting

Posted on June 3, 2011 by HotWife

I added a cool new plugin a week ago that randomly tweets out old posts. I thought it would be perfect so all of the many posts that get buried over the years are brought back out for the search engines and those I didn’t know on twitter when they were posted. It gave me the option to go in and select categories and posts that I didn’t want added to the list for tweeting but I really didn’t think much of it. Yikes, lesson learned there.

It was picking mostly depressing posts to send out. Since there is no rhyme or reason how it could have picked sad posts I’ll just take it as a sign to keep working towards not taking things for granted. I was kicked in the head last week with some reality checks and I’m working at being much more appreciative of things, even when they are part of the daily grind and aggravation.

It started with finding out one of the teens that my daughter used to be pretty good friends with is pregnant. Having been around so many of these kids since they were in kindergarten and some even before school, it felt like a sucker-punch that I could even be at this point with kids that it was happening. But I worked through it, vocally on twitter, and then used it as a chance to talk to her about things. Yes, it started with an “Oh GAWD Mom!” and me telling her to “shut up and let me puke this out”. Yes, those are quotes but you can’t write in eye rolls very well.

The next day was the really difficult day. Daughter texted me that one of the girls on the wrestling team had gone in for surgery the day before and the cancer was much worse than they expected. The team was leaving school at lunch to go visit her in the hospital. I cried, I texted, I cried more and we set up what time I needed to get there to drive as many girls up as could go. So thankful I work for myself because I dropped everything and we went. It was a rough night which, of course, hubby was working and not around the station much. I was hoping to stop by the station for a quick hug but was lucky to get a few texts.

I still teared up every time I think of this girl, her family and the battle we all have ahead. She’s a very strong girl and we have no doubt she will win this. But next year is her senior year and this is not how it should be spent. Fundraising and help started immediately and I became grateful for living in a small community that pitches in so quickly.

What does this have to do with the funky new plugin? Well some of the posts were about a fundraiser I forwarded for injured firefighters in Detroit and the anniversary of our Chief’s death. Sign? Yeah, I’ll take it as a sign.

For one thing I was so wrapped up when the events happened in how they made me feel that I missed the big picture of how my daughter was feeling. That is not normal for me as I’m usually taking care of them while they deal with things and then it’s my turn. Something was seriously off and I needed to refocus.

This is the goal I am working on right now. Refocusing. I’m not perfect by any means, but I sure do a great job of pretending Making the most of the time we have together because I want to live my life with no regrets.

Categories : Everyday, Family

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Days the Schedule Sucks

Posted on April 29, 2011 by HotWife

There aren’t too many days in the last four years that it’s royally messed up things, but today is one of them. I can’t be in two places at the same time. I can’t even go back and forth between two places when it will be rush hour in western WA and the events are 20 miles apart. Thank goodness for Moms!

This afternoon is our son’s first football game. We’ve all waited years for this and it’s super exciting. Last week SHOULD have been his first game but he’s been sick. Last week hubby had off game day. This week and next he does not. Dad will miss his first two games and I know that’s super rough on him. We’ve needed a video camera and we’ve really got to get one now. Think I’ll put the bug out for mother’s day.

The games at 5:30 so I had it all set up and it was planned pretty easily. Get the oldest from track practice, drop her off at home if she wanted and then go to the game with plenty of time for all of that. Until…at her meet last night she informs me there’s a meet today also. WHAT?! That is not possible, it’s not on the calendar and everyone in this house knows if it’s not on the calendar then it DOESN’T HAPPEN! lol I know she had told me that the coach said to check the online schedule a few weeks ago as things had changed, but shouldn’t this have been brought up earlier in the week? Not the night before?

Reason number 1million forty-five I’m happy we never moved away from my parents. Mom, I have a sports dilemma! Called her immediately.

If it was just a matter that I’d miss seeing her run it wouldn’t be such a problem. Yes, I’m sorry I’ll miss it and I wish I could be there, but it’s the fact that she needs a ride home that is the major problem. They don’t always have a bus home. Thankfully my Mom will be there to watch her and then she can still possibly make it to the football game before it ends.

Since this is the first time both kids have been in sports at the same time since they were little I’ll have to get used to this. It’ll only get busier next year when all their sports collide. Bless my parents for being so wonderful and always wanting to be at events before I even ask for help. I know I couldn’t do this crazy fire schedule with no guilt if it weren’t for their support.

Now enough mushy. Let’s crush em Grizzlies! Damn I can’t wait for gametime

Categories : Family

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Engaged and Worried

Posted on April 21, 2011 by HotWife

It’s Q & A time again. I received an email from a woman that has become almost terrified since the engagement. I know we can come up with a lot of tips to help her out so let’s start brainstorming!

Q: hi so i just got engaged to my firefighter just over a month ago and i am almost terrified of the rest of my life, i know that sounds awful but thats how im feeling. we’ve been together for over 3 years and have lived together for about 1 year so i understand all the hardships. although i absolutly adore and love my firefighter and couldnt dream of a world where i wasnt with him and i no doubt want to spend the rest of my life with him, it just scares the hell out of me to think about having ownership to these stresses, plus future kids, for the rest of my life. i would never ever ever ever ever EVER ask him to quit but these fears stress me out soooo much, and i feel like im starting arguments for no reason and they keep clouding my mind to where its all i think about and i find myself doubting my strength and ability to do this. please, if you have any advice for me, i would be so thankful

A: Being scared is normal. No one wants to think of their loved one’s passing. However, by simply loving a person we are at risk of a devastating loss. Dangerous job or not, we are surrounded by situations that can take our loved one’s from us at any time.

Before the engagement were you dealing ok with his job? If so, then you must really sit down and look at why things flipped so much for you. Some things to ask yourself:

What am I most worried about?
Have I told him my fears?
Do you resent his job? Are you a part of that side of his life?

From your email it sounds like even when you are with him this is consuming you. I know over the many, many years we’ve been together I have picked fights. It’s a coping mechanism. Kind of like making him prove he loves you. It’s not a healthy choice by any means, but you have to be aware when you are doing it to be able to change it. When you find yourself picking a fight, try to stop and figure out what is truly bothering you.

As with any relationship, it’s all about communication. You have to let him know your fears so you can move past them. Choose your words carefully so as not to sound like you are on the offense. Talk about how whether your feelings are founded or not, you are worried. Maybe tell him you want to work past them and are looking for help to do so. Maybe going to the station and getting a tour would help ease some of your fears. Let him explain what tools they use for different situations.

I know when hubby got on the tech rescue team I went through some worry. I mean the job is dangerous enough, but now you are going to put yourself on another adrenaline team? lol For me, talking about all his training and how they do things really helps. Sure, I “know” that they are safe, but by getting some of the steps I have a better picture. When a call goes out and that worry sets in, the actual steps will be in my head instead of my imagination.

Everyone is different in how they deal with things so I hope that you take these as suggestions and know that I am in no way “qualified” to give therapy or advice. I can only pass on things that I’ve used over the years and noticed through looking at my own relationship.

Getting married is a huge step and commitment. Have you looked at the possibility it isn’t even his job that is stressing you out? It could be typical worries of commitment and building your lives together.

Some posts I’ve written with helpful tips:
Getting the Wives Together
A Girlfriends Worry
Some Other Wives Online

Do you have tips for women marrying into the fire life?

Categories : Family, Fire Questions

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Lockdown: Word No Parent Wants to Hear

Posted on April 20, 2011 by HotWife

The weather is beautiful and hubby is home on vacation still. We went to the local produce stand that opened a couple of weeks ago and were finishing up grocery shopping for Easter dinner. Just a few things left to grab. I’d forgotten my phone and now with hindsight I guess there was a reason for that.

Hubby gets a text message from our oldest that the high school is in lockdown and it’s for real. I wasn’t too worried as our school district is AWESOME about doing lockdowns immediately. The elementary school had a few while they were there and I’m impressed that even though they take a lot of flack from inconvenienced parents, they still go into lockdown when there’s any doubt of safety for the kids. Kudo’s, applause and thanks to them for that!

Within a few minutes she called hubbies phone. A gun had been reported. Phone call was pretty quick, but then I started telling hubby to text her this, text her that, etc. It was rough not having my phone on me, but I probably would have driven her nuts texting. I’m glad we were in a public place so I worked harder at keeping my cool. Our fun little jaunt of errands became mind-numbing and monotonous as we just grabbed stuff off the list and I still tried to keep it light.

Getting the call from her that it had been called off and they were letting them get on the buses was only the beginning of my rush of emotion. I didn’t blame her for not wanting to go to track, yes, come on home, I agree. She’s not one to show her emotions, but she’s shook up as hell. She was in the classroom that she always jokes that she’d like to be in if ever a lockdown happened. The teacher has curtains on all the windows. She also said she learned just how stupid the kids are. They were loud, obnoxious and some were even banging on the walls. Mind you, it was broadcast that this wasn’t a test and was a real lockdown. I know everyone deals with stressful situations differently and kids aren’t going to act appropriately, I hope some of them learn from this.

This morning before going off to teach class the footage of Columbine was on. Today is the 12th anniversary. I always worry about copycats looking for their 15 seconds of “fame”. All that was going through my head during that hour of waiting was that my worst fear may be happening. I was working at not thinking of all the things that could go wrong. It’s kind of like when hubby is off on a call, I know so many things can go wrong but I really work at putting all those things to the back of my head.

Kids are definitely different. I couldn’t just push it aside. My brain literally hurts now. I have a pressure headache from the stress and I’m so tired. I’m still freaking out inside about it all. I called my Mom to make sure she knew everyone was ok and my voice only broke once (success).

I hope that all the families touched by Columbine have found some peace. The fear and grief they went through is closer to imaginable for me but definitely no where near comparable. I only had an hour of not knowing, not the harsh reality of life changed forever they did. Don’t take a day for granted, you just never know what will happen.

Categories : Family

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Getting the Wives Together

Posted on March 24, 2011 by HotWife

Sometimes it’s hard to remember it’s only been 4 years since being hired on with the department. It’s weird to think of those years and the people we DIDN’T have in our lives before. I know how lucky we are in the close friendships we have and I try hard not to take that for granted.

That said, it’s not all flowers and candy. It’s family and every family has issues. Some are bigger than others, but in the end we are all stuck together so we better work it out. lol A core group of us are super close and this year has been a rough start because the guys had to bid on two different shifts. We can’t get together as much as we’d like because scheduling is a PIA. However, that hasn’t stopped us girls.

Some of the wives got a bunco group started and it’s been a blast and much needed. I know for me I have rarely gotten together with just the girls. It’s usually a couples or group thing and then we girls may filter off and gab without the guys. But this bunco is no-boys-allowed once a month. It’s been fun to meet wives that I don’t even “know” their husbands. We’ve done so much merging, hiring and then shift changes in the last couple of years I can’t keep up with who’s who unless hubby has actually worked a bit with them.

I had a wife contact me that definitely doesn’t have the same thing going on in her department. Sadly, there is a lot of gossiping and backstabbing going on and it’s distressing to the work environment and home life too I’m sure. She’s with a military FD and after a little further discussion she was pretty clear that it’s not the guys at work (thankfully) having an issue getting along, it’s the wives. I didn’t ask how large the department was and I think that will probably have a different affect on the situation. Our department is quite large now so if some of the wives don’t want to get along it’s easier to ignore.

Now for me I have a totally different takes on things. I come into offering advice as a (kinda) secure 38 year old. I’m loud and opinionated and I can’t apologize for it anymore. I am well aware I turn some people off because I am loud, but I can’t possibly get along with everyone in the world. I tried changing and it was miserable and too much work to fight my own personality. lol

My biggest advice in this situation is probably not something that many would want to hear. I’d be really evaluating if these women are who I want to try to bring into my life or if I should be running from them? I have let myself fall into negative female relationships before and all that negative just sucks the happiness from your own life. I found myself complaining all the time and honestly, I didn’t have much I should be complaining about. But those types of women don’t want to hear about things that are good in your life because they want to wallow in their misery and bring you down so they can feel better about their lives. I can’t stand liars and sneaky people so any rumors that would be started by these women I’d have to call them out. So as you can see, at this point in my life, I really wouldn’t be trying to get together with the women of this other department if they were acting that way. However, that is from years of experience and trial and error.

But if it’s a small department and especially since it’s military, you may be living closely to each other. You may not have anyone else to rely on, then let’s brainstorm some ideas for getting the girls together in a positive way.

1. Plan a small get together for crafting or a spa party. If you only have 2-3 women in the department that you talk to frequently, then invite them. Ask them to bring someone else in the department that they have gotten to be friends with. Then work hard to keep the conversation positive in these first couple of meetings while everyone is getting to know each other. If everyone is having fun then more people will want to join in each month.

2. Plan a kids event. Go bowling, skating or even just a BBQ/picnic in the park. Follow the same positive spin as above. It may be hard work at the first few events to stop the negative people from gossiping, but will be worth it when more women are joining each month.

3. If all else fails, then plan a couples dinner party. Tell hubby that the point is to get the girls gabbing off by themselves so you can set a girls event up. You may need his help in this and he can talk to the guys about it as well so you can recruit their help.

One other piece of advice is the fact that many guys don’t want to hang out with others from the department. They want to keep the two lives separate. This will make it more difficult for you to get their wives involved in anything because they may feel the same way. Just be aware that they may never join in on a girls event. Some of the women also don’t want to be a part of their husbands work life and you’ll never get them there either. Just put out the offer nicely and let them know when events are going to happen that you’d love group at. Don’t get your feelings hurt if they don’t show up.

Do you get together with the wives or girlfriends in the department? Have any suggestions for working through issues and getting all the girls together?

Oh, for the curious…I’m the brunette in the group pic. Just in case it wasn’t obvious from my blog theme

Categories : Everyday, Family, Fire Questions

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Fellow Wife Needs Your Thoughts

Posted on March 18, 2011 by HotWife

I was contacted by a fellow wife who’s been a site visitor for some time. She is in need of your thoughts and/or prayers, whichever you partake in. This is definitely not something I would normally post or ask, but she’s been here helping others for a little while. I’m sure she could really use the assurance we are all behind her and offering our strength.

Sadly her husband has been in the hospital for over 2 weeks and has been transferred to a new one recently. He’s in ICU as they have found severe damage to his lungs and throat from a fire he was on.

My thoughts go out to her and the family as they battle through his recovery. I hope to soon hear that he is healing and will keep updating as I find out.

Categories : Everyday, Family

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Happy St. Patty Day!

Posted on March 17, 2011 by HotWife

I love this holiday! It’s just for fun. This year we are celebrating very differently. Oh don’t get me wrong, the corned beef is already slow roasting in the oven and hubby is bringing home the cabbage and carrots to toss in. But we’re going out on the town after we eat!

We’ve had tickets to go see Aaron Lewis for months. There were supposed to be a few other fire family going, but tickets were already sold out. I absolutely LOVE going to concerts and love great tunes. Country, heavy metal, punk, I appreciate it all. But there is just not much hotter than a guy getting up on stage with only a guitar to hide behind. Course, that may be because I already got the firefighter LOLOL

I’m hoping for the luck o’the Irish at the casino before the concert and looking forward to a date night with just hubby. Don’t get me wrong, I know we’d have had a blast if everyone had gotten tickets. But some days we really have to go out just the two of us.

Plus, today marks the 21st anniversary of our first date. We should probably spend it just the two of us laughing about the early dates.

Be safe everyone and have a great St. Patty’s Day and night!

Categories : Cheers, Family

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