Fire Questions :: Firefighter Wife

Ex-girlfriend in the Department

Posted on March 12, 2012 by HotWife

This isn’t something I have personal experience in since hubby and I started dating when we were 17 and 18. I mean, we didn’t even have something I’d consider a “serious” relationship before each other. But, we did grow up in a small town. I knew everyone he’d dated. In fact when we went off to college one of his more major ex’s was the only person I knew besides hubby. We would double date a lot with her & her fiance. But no games were being played and in no way was there ever a hint she wanted him back. This ex and I grew up a block away from each other. I graduated and was friends with her younger brother. It’s a part of small towns lol

Part of a comment form I received recently included:

Q: He has an ex girlfriend in his department, one he was with before me and she often times cause issues for us. I understand that being in the department they are going to need to be civil and be able to work side by side on the job. I am trying to be understanding with that but sometimes it gets to me. I’m not realt sure what I am afraid of, cause he says all the time that he doesn’t love her and I do believe him I mean why else would he be with me instead. But she likes to play games. I am looking for some advice, anyway to cope. I live in a diff town than him almost 2 hours away, but that is changing for I will be moving to be closer to him. With their father being absent the girls have grown fond of him as well. I dnt want to feel worried about her. How do u cope with the ex being in he same department?

A: I guess I did cut out an important part of this being a volunteer dept. I just didn’t want to copy/paste too much info and have the person be traceable if they wish to be anonymous. I have issues with dating in the workplace, no matter the job. It will always cause issues. Good issues, bad issues or ugly issues, there will be problems that will cause havoc in any workplace. It causes very unique problems having an a relationship. BUT, that’s a separate issue to talk about and not the point here.

The thing I see that needs to be addressed in this email is highlighted above. She likes to play games. I’m unsure if these games are code for her wanting him back, practical jokes because she’s just one of the guys or she causes actual trouble for him at work. But that seems to be the core of the issue as I read it.

Analyze these games being played. I’d personally write things down that have been bothering me. I’m a big pen and paper person. By writing it all down you could come up with a mixture of three conclusions.

Maybe more of this is in your head than you think. YEAH! This is the option we hope for No matter how hard we fight it, we all have female hormones. I know they often make me think things are worse than they actually are or just put stupid ideas in my head altogether. This is why pen and paper works so well for me. I see it in black and white, laugh at myself and it’s easier to move on.

She looks like she’s jealous and does want him back. Obviously if you are with him and looking to move closer to be with him then he’s a keeper. Hard to fault her for realizing she made a bad choice. If there are very specific things she’s done that make you uncomfortable then bring those SPECIFIC events up with your boyfriend. Work on keeping the emotions as low key as possible so you don’t come off as the jealous new girlfriend. Explain how these events make YOU feel, no matter if they have a basis or not. Stress that you are not doubting him but you just want to keep the communication going strong on how it makes you feel.
I think it’s hard for hubby not to roll his eyes when I start a conversation with, “I know I’m being stupid, but…” He never knows what’s going to come after that statement. I could be about to hit him up with new ideas I’ve added to our zombie apocalypse plan. I know you just giggled, but that is literally what my poor hubby has to deal with. I’m pretty sure he’s afraid of what goes on in my head lol

She’s moved past #2 and is also causing trouble at work. If this is the case then it’s time for the chain of command to be notified. Maybe things are bothering you because you do feel he’s being harassed at work and that is not ok. Again, by writing things out you will be able to pinpoint to your boyfriend what is bothering you and why. I know I personally go all Momma Bear and have since I was very little about family members and good friends being harassed or bullied. My first fight was at 3 (yes, 3 years old) because someone kept smacking my baby brother.
It’s possible she’s making work difficult with inappropriate behavior and he hasn’t realized how inappropriate it is. Sometimes stories are just passed on to us and they haven’t realized how all the actions have built up over time and affecting them. Knowing whether he needs to talk to his superiors about an issue is something only he can decide. So don’t be pushy about it if this is a conclusion you come to. It’s really hard for me as there are times I just want to march down and rip someone’s head off for not noticing things. See, there’s Momma Bear again. But it boils down to it being their place of work so they have to be the one’s to deal with it.

As I say all the time, communicate. No relationship is going to work without a good line of communication. This is going to be especially necessary if they both stay in the volunteer dept for a long time. If it was a more recent breakup then it just might take a little while for them to get back into a comfortable working relationship.

Any of you ladies dealt with an ex being at the dept and can pass more actual tips on? Might be especially helpful for any of you female firefighters that have gone through it personally or watched it unfold at the station.

Categories : Fire Questions, Relationship

Comments (7)

Does It Get Easier?

Posted on February 14, 2012 by HotWife

The question everyone always wants to know. My quick answer is a resounding… YES!

Q: Hello, I just came across you’re site and I think its wonderful. I am actually engaged to a firefighter. He is a volunteer right now but in the process of being hired on. Even being a volunteer he goes on a call on average twice a week for about 6 hours each time. Sometimes its 5 times a week and sometimes its none. Its very hard, never knowing when he’ll have to leave or if he’ll make it back to me safe. This may be a dumb question, but does it ever get easier?

A: I’m not sure how long you’ve been together or how long he’s been a FF so I’ll just go as if both may be kind of new.

It’s always difficult going through the adjustment period of something new. But, it’s especially difficult because we don’t have anything that remains the same each day. We’re constantly hit with something new and that’s the only thing that remains the same lol

I have just a quick question of why a call averages 6 hours? Is it only fire calls they go on? Ours have always been mostly medical calls, so he could be back anywhere from 30 minutes on, as we didn’t do transports as a volunteer station as a general rule. But we had a lot more calls than 2-5 so it probably averaged out to the same amount of time as you posted about.

You have to look at it as he will always come home to you safe. If you don’t, your sanity is going to take a major toll. He’s trained and so are those working with him. You have to put your trust in that training.

It’s very difficult not knowing when a call will go out. I wrote a post last spring about being a volunteer wife and it has a lot of information in it. Hubby was a volunteer for around 6 years before getting on paid and it was a roller coaster for sure. Especially since the kids were little.

When our district was super crazy before the merge it was rare for him to be home at all. He’d work his construction job and then there would be a ton of calls as well. I just learned to appreciate the time he was home because it was rare. Make sure and set up time that he won’t go on calls and he’ll actually turn the pager off. It doesn’t have to be very often, but it helps a lot.

Categories : Everyday, Fire Questions

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Helping Your Firefighter With Stress

Posted on February 9, 2012 by HotWife

She’s waited long enough for a response from me so we’ll just get right to the point with her question. It’s a really, serious question and I hope that many of you will help point me to new resources I can bring to everyone.

Q: Hello, my name is Lisa and my fiance is a firefighter/ paramedic and recently he has been struggling with the fact that every time he goes on shift something really awful happens. I have been trying to reach out and find him support. He just has a hard time talking to someone, like a therapist, who has no idea what it really feels like to go through these events. I was wondering if maybe you have any ideas of how i can get his mind off of all this. I was hoping there was some type of support group in our area but i havent been able to find one. I’m new at this and i was hoping for some good ideas. It worries me everyday when he’s always down due to a bad shift. Please help! Thank you.

A: First off, it’s important to get to know other people he works with. Whether it’s wives of those he works with or directly someone he works with. I say this because I had this same comment from a friends girlfriend and I’m so glad I could pass it on to my husband and get him help.

At times the guys forget that others haven’t been in the same situations. I know this particular event was a child fatality. My husband went through just about every horrible event you can do in his first year of volunteering. We just didn’t know that wasn’t normal…but I guess I’m glad it was our normal because we had to cope on our own for it. However, my son had just had an episode of craziness and our friend was associating with this first child fatality he witnessed.

Thankfully I have the connection with my hubby and I immediately said our BF was having a bad time. His girlfriend was fire as well so it’s not like she didn’t have some major clues about helping him. Come to find out there had been no debriefing for the event. We have had quite a few child events in that time so I can see where it can happen. But sadly it was our BF’s first child fatality so it really needed debriefing.

My stepping up and immediately passing on the info helped. I told hubby I didn’t want it known how it was passed on because I didn’t want any a-holes saying anything. That’s just not a spot you get to make fun of someone.

Now for other resources if the above is not an option. A therapist doesn’t have to go through any of the events, they do not have to actually understand the feelings to be of help. Therapy has nothing to do with the therapists feelings, it has to do with their skills at helping him work through HIS feelings. We have therapists available to us through the fire department and I’d recommend he talks to his Chief or HR to see if you do as well. Our therapists are also available to the fire family to my understanding.

As with any negative situations in life, help him remember the positives that happened at work as well. After listening to the stories he needs to get off his chest, work to pull out calls that he’s set aside because they were “routine” calls. Calls that they did save someones life by getting them help in time. Those are easy for them to overlook and it’s important for them to focus on how happy those people and their families are.

I found a great site for PTSD help for fire, police, ems called What is PTSD?

Then an even better site I found is FireStrong.org.

I also found some books that may help:

The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growth

Is He Depressed or What?

This is obviously an area that needs more free help put out there. I was disheartened to find nothing on the iaff website at all. I contacted some guys to see if I can find even more info.

Categories : Fire Questions

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Volunteer Wife with a Newborn

Posted on November 11, 2011 by HotWife

Being a volunteer wife was so very much more difficult than this paid gig. Hands down, no comparison. I fully understand this new mom’s frustration with it all. Grab a coffee or glass of wine depending on your time of day, this is going to be a long one

Q: I want to know what advice you have for a volunteer wife with a newborn who is, well…let’s just put it out there. I’m bitter. I’m proud of my husband (as evidenced by the pile of fire service related baby gear I have purchased for my 3month old *girl* ….), but I’m tired of being at home alone all day with the baby while he’s at work, and then being home alone 2 nights a week, plus a weekend day, plus the time he’s on duty at the station (ours is a hybrid department with volunteers on duty outside of daylight weekdays) – he’s in fire school those 2 weeknights and weekend day…and when they start burns, it’ll be all weekend.
He’s missing out on seeing our little girl grow, I’m exhausted, and he’s not even getting paid for it!!

I like the guys on his crew, and I like their wives and girlfriends, but we are the only ones with a child so far…so I don’t exactly have a lot of built in support there, plus, since he’s a probie…there’s a certain amount of distance there.

My family all think he’s being selfish and he should quit – I’m at a loss to explain that if I really put my foot down, he would quit…and be resentful and awful to be around because of it. This is important to him. So how do I deal with it?

A: I’m very thankful that when my husband joined the dept as a volunteer my youngest was already one and a half, possibly closer to two. But that doesn’t mean he was home much while they were newborns. He had to work a ton of extra hours and side jobs so I could stay home with the kids. Working jobs he hated. He sadly missed a lot and that is something we stay-at-home-moms have to realize. We get to see everything, it’s a burden and a blessing. They do feel bad that they miss major events, they just carry their emotions so differently.

Addressing the time alone. Are you also stuck at home because of only one vehicle? Or can you set up playdates and get out of the house to visit friends? How about going to the library for a reading time/interactive class with other moms? Check community bulletin boards for a new mommy meet up or post one of your own. It’s too bad there aren’t moms in your department you could try to hook up with. That would be the easiest option.

Also, it sounds like you could use a date night and/or a girls night. Set a date. Can’t get a sitter, then your date is at home as soon as the baby goes to bed.

Money was beyond tight when the kids were little, but I bought a family pass to our local zoos and the kids and I went each week at least once. My kids are teens and still talk about the animals by name lol We created our own priceless memories and it gave us stuff to talk to Dad about when we got the chance to see him.

I assume that he is working towards getting on paid somewhere. Think of this the same as going to school. He really does need to put his time in if he wants to get a full-time position somewhere. The experience and connections are priceless when it comes down to being hired. It sucks, but it’s an investment in your families future. The time he will get to spend with the family when he gets hired on is amazing. Sure he’ll also miss things then as well, but my husband now gets to go to so many more sporting events than he ever could have when he was working construction.

It’s rough when they don’t get paid for it. HOWEVER, if it’s like our volunteer dept was at all, someone could and would literally die if he didn’t go on calls. Our dept was quite small and didn’t have a lot of active volunteers. Yes, there were times I did become “selfish” and tell him to turn the pager off but it was rare. Our dept didn’t have any set work times, it was on-call 24/7/365. Since, I rarely pulled the “turn the pager off” card it didn’t cause a problem. He knew I was about to lose my mind if he didn’t stay home lol

As far as the family goes, OUCH. DOUBLE OUCH! I can’t imagine not having had my families support fully and you really need to explain that to them like you did to me. Is it better that he becomes bitter and resentful and possibly divorce? Or is it better to be supportive of what he wants to do and have him be a happy husband and daddy? You need their support now probably more than you ever have before. Let them know that.

My Mom always wants events at her house. It’s a huge deal to her. Yet, while he was a volunteer she wouldn’t complain if we had it at our house so he could go on calls. Especially when we’d know ahead of time that quite a few volunteers were going to be out of town over a holiday. Even if we went to their house (11 miles away, but was out of district) we sometimes would take two cars so he could leave for a call if necessary. Or he’d show up later than me after returning from a call. This was when we were getting close to being merged with our paid dept and the call volume was really high for the amount of volunteers we had.

One thing that helped me often was to think of the military wives. If we think this is rough, imagine how rough it is for them. How many wives have had their babies and their husband couldn’t be there at all, let alone not meeting the babies until they are a year or even older? Just a little perspective that couold help through basic rough days.

But that doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to be hurt or even angry. Especially with your lack of sleep and hormones that are still a wreck. Let him know that things are rough. If he sees you always keeping it together then he probably thinks it’s all under control and going smoothly. I’m positive you’ve left hints, but as my husband told me out right when we first got together, “I don’t get hints, you have to tell me”. Boy, we had no idea back when we were 17 & 18, how much that statement would help us over all these years. I’m pretty sure that goes for all guys. Communicate how you are feeling and it will help ease your pressure so much!

Alright volunteer and paid wives, what are some ways you’ve worked through the newborns and babies? LaDonna this one is definitely one you have a ton of advice for I’m sure. Please, please feel free to pass on any posts you may have put up on your blog that can help her

Categories : Everyday, Fire Questions

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Female Firefighter Jealousy

Posted on October 25, 2011 by HotWife

Some questions take me a little longer to answer than others. They get a little deeper and I just may not be in a position to hit them up. Please don’t get discouraged but I have to be in a decent mindset to answer things without giving a smartass response or sounding cranky in my reply. Plus as you’ll notice I don’t blog here every day so I like to get other posts set up between the questions.

But I’ve got another question to answer about our guys working with female co-workers. I’m sure many of us have co-ed departments and can relate to how we’ve dealt with different aspects in our own personal life.

Q: My boyfriend has been on the fd for about a year now. A woman just recently joined and they have become pretty close (texting, calling, etc.). He assures me he thinks of her as “one of the guys.” I know it’s silly, but do I have the right to be jealous? How do I overcome this? Has this ever happened to you? We’re thinking about getting married (we’ve been together 4 years), so I know deep down that I have nothing to worry about. I think I need some reassurance from a woman who has probably dealt with this before. My friends are immature and thinks that he’s going to cheat. I want advice on how to get over this darn jealousy! Thank you!

A: First if something bothers you then you need to feel comfortable enough in your relationship to be able to talk to your boyfriend about it. It doesn’t have to be rational thoughts you just need to be rational when you are bringing them to his attention.

It’s true he may think of her as one of the guys. I’m just one of the guys to many BUT that doesn’t mean I will put my husband in a position where he feels uncomfortable. I don’t have co-ed friendships that my spouse isn’t a part of and when I was training I was very aware of how much I talked about my male clients. It’s not easy but I tried to put myself in his shoes and how I might feel if I was constantly hearing about one of the women he works with. While I know nothing would be going on, it still sends irrational messages in my brain.

Hubby worked a lot with one of the women in our dept in his first couple of years. At first it was a little rough because of stupid thoughts going on in my head. He’d worked with other women in construction but of course this “living” in the same place was a different aspect to get used to. I’m sure I got over my ridiculousness quicker because I met her so many times and met her husband as well.

Then there are the friends you mentioned who I assume aren’t in the firelife. Why are they saying he’s going to cheat? Just because he works with a woman? It’s pretty safe to assume they work with a lot more men, so the odds are higher that they will cheat with their co-workers if that’s the correlation used. If they just think it’s funny then I’d probably have a chat with them and tell them it’s not cool and you don’t find it funny. Usually all it takes is telling your friends that something they do bothers you and they will stop. If not, well that’s a whole other issue to work with.

If he’s texting and phone calling more than you like then it would be a good idea to address it. I’d also suggest having a get together so you can get to know her. Whether it’s dinner at your house or going out somewhere for drinks it will help you a lot if you can at least chat with her for a few hours. Will make you more comfortable when you find out she has absolutely no thoughts of moving in to your relationship.

Any of you ladies had the jealousy issue pop up and can offer advice?

Categories : Everyday, Fire Questions

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Communicate or be Miserable

Posted on September 26, 2011 by HotWife

Read any number of my blog posts and you will see that I think communication is the key to EVERYTHING in a relationship. Without it you become a single entity in this journey and the bitterness will suffocate you.

Q:Thank you for your blog. I am going crazy with no support from my hubby, as I am not really supporting him. My husband works a full time job as a truck driver. He works from 6am and does not get home usually till 4-4:30 and sometimes he works late. We have been together for 10 yrs we have 2 wonderful boys 7 and 4 and they are more than a handful at times. I work as a school bus driver, so during the school year I am out the door by 6 also with both boys dressed, fed ,and ready for school, some mornings I forget about “ME” I have a little break during the day till I pick the kids up from school and bring them home. The boys are on the bus with me during my routes and omg that is so crazy at times. we get home around 4-4:30 also. than its homework, snack and lunches made for the next day, backpacks ready, and of course dinner. Not even included bills, cleaning, laundry, dishes and everyday things. I am going nuts its allot to handle, my husband doesnt really help too much. Now that I have vented a little, my hubby is about to be a volunteer firefighter, and training to get his emt. He lives out of the district to be on call so after his full time job he needs to sleep at the station. I am being so sellfish about what he wants to do, I feel life is so crazy and hectic now that this isnt the right time for him to be doing this. I am tellling him if this is what he wants to do Im not going to stop him from it, but I also tell him how hard it is going to be for me exspecially. He obviously gets upset, I read your blog about volunteer firewives. I just want a real life input on my situation. What do you think about this. How can I deal with my stress and also be supportive, I dont want to loose him over my selfishness and fear about being a “single mom”. Thank you so much for your help

A: Well I think the second sentence summed up quite a bit. You don’t feel like either of you are supporting each other and I’d start there. You need to get the dialogue going about how you feel like you are doing more than your share and feeling buried. Stick to how things are making you feel and that you don’t want those feelings to become worse so you need to be able to talk to him about it. It is definitely going to be a lot and there are some little things that you can ask him to take over that will really help you out.

Set up family days and date nights on the calendar. Days that unless it’s a truly big emergency, nothing gets to interrupt that time. If you make time for your relationship and for the family it will be much easier to keep communicating as things arise.

As with many families that both parents work, everyone has to chip in with the chores on the weekends. Get lists going and also get those boys helping. They are plenty old enough to vacuum, dust, fold clothes, and pick up items around the house. Have it be your 7 year olds responsibility to empty and/or load the dishwasher. Create those habits and you’ll have much more help down the road. It is a little bit of work to begin with, but worth it.

For easier meal times let me shamelessly plug my Once a Week Cooking weekly meal plans site. Take a few hours on the weekend and create all the meals for the week. Then it’s just warming up and adding side dishes. No thinking necessary after a long day of work. Helped me tremendously when I was working and going to school full-time.

Categories : Fire Questions, Relationship

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Another Baby, Mom’s a Firefighter

Posted on September 1, 2011 by HotWife

Definitely looking for some tips here ladies from any of you that are in the service or especially from you husbands dealing with the 24 hour shifts while your wife is at work.

Q: Love your website! But my situation is reversed, I’m the fire fighter and my husband is left at home. He volunteers but I’m making a career out of it. I wanted to ask what your take was on being a mom,wife, and still be dedicated. We’re having baby #2 and it seems like it’ll only get harder from here…

A: It will. I’m not going to sugarcoat it and lie. Having little one’s is hard work and even more if you are dedicated to something else as well. But if your husband is behind you all the way then you need to work on dropping some of that mommy guilt and embrace what you want to accomplish. Your kids will be much better for it!

My kids are 16 and 13. Hubby started volunteering when they were only 1 and 4. He was gone SO MUCH. The kids have never once brought up how much he was gone and I am sure they have no clue. Especially now that he has been hired on and he is around for so many cool things that other dads aren’t. If the focus is always on the positive then that is what will be remembered.

It is going to be difficult, but I think the most difficult part is battling yourself. You and your husband are setting a great example for your kids. Support each other in your dreams. How could that ever be wrong to show your kids?

I have plenty of friends with careers that are incredible moms. Go in to this with a positive mental attitude and just own it. Mommy’s a firefighter and this is what she does and this is her schedule. It will be their normal and down the road they will probably think it’s weird that their friends moms are around 24/7 lol

Categories : Everyday, Fire Questions

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Your Anonymous With Your Questions

Posted on August 15, 2011 by HotWife

Thank you for letting me know that the contact form won’t let you submit when you try to say you want to be anonymous. I have taken that question off the contact form, but no worries all of your information will be handled anonymously.

I change the wording before I post questions if there is anything I think could be tracked to a specific department. I’m sensitive about any repercussions for those that are passionate and usually venting when they hit my contact form. I appreciate the fact that I can be someone that you feel comfortable venting to and know that I’m not going to just post your info and belittle you or your situation.

Even though it doesn’t ask the question if you want to be anonymous, please know that you will be. It’s just not an option to not be anymore. lol

I welcome your questions and stories. They are great for giving me ideas to post about. If you have the question then you can be sure that many more have the same question and just haven’t asked. Thank you!

Categories : Everyday, Fire Questions

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Are You Living In Fear?

Posted on August 2, 2011 by HotWife

As you may know I welcome questions about the firelife so all of us can help you work through things. You can submit questions 24/7 through my contact form. You can choose to be anonymous (which I generally tweak things to protect anyone sending in questions) or if you have a website/blog and want me to include it with your question I can do that as well.

I’ve been getting more and more questions and I love it. The only thing is, there is a definite theme to the majority of them. FEAR. Fear of them getting hurt, fear of staying home alone while their at work, worry about the unknown and the uncontrollable.

Fear can and will hold you back from enjoying life if you let it. I have many fears and I battle them. Thankfully fear of him being at work isn’t one of the big ones. I have a fear of drowning and a fear of heights. The drowning really bothers me the most on bridges so we can combine that with the heights issue.

How can this whole fear of heights hold me back? We love going skiing and boarding. The first run of the day I have to mentally fight myself to get on the lift. I have to fight with myself to actually tip my ski’s off the edge of the slope. I have to battle within my brain before I get to certain spots on the slopes that I know are going to be much more downhill. I have a panic attack if hubby wants to help push me and go on a different run that I don’t know. After a run last year, I’m not sure I’ll be able to battle that fear of the unknown up there again.

I know many of you are saying, “then why do it?” Because if I don’t, my fear will only get worse. Even though my family loves to laugh at me as I go so slow I’m about to fall down, I’ve learned to laugh at myself over my own stupid fear of heights. It’s not something I can change, it’s just something I have to work with and try not to let it take over.

Dealing with these fears may be what helps me through his work as well. Since I’m not a psychologist I can only use my best deduction and self-analyzation. Hmm, is that a word? lol I’ve learned over the years to battle back fears for things I can’t control. I don’t want to miss out on the fun. I could choose to waste time worrying about my husband while he’s at work but what would that accomplish? I can worry about my daughter while she goes on vacation with friends or family, but what does that accomplish? I can worry about my son going to the skatepark with friends, but what does that accomplish?

The only thing it would accomplish is me feeling sick and not getting things done around the house. It’s unproductive and I have too pay some bills as well. I could easily spend more time worrying about things that are not happening while missing out on life that IS HAPPENING all around me. It’s a conscience decision I have to make.

Now do I worry? OF COURSE I DO! I just don’t let it consume my every thought. When I started writing this post the pager went off. My heart skipped and I got up to go see what the page was. The worry started it’s way in imagining they were going on a big mva or fire and them setting a general alarm, and, and, and. Which was promptly squashed by laughing at myself that it was page to turn their time cards. Being able to laugh at myself helps a lot.

For those of you that are new to my blog, I can hear a few saying “it’s because she’s never been through a tragedy like we have in”. Please read around just a little bit. But a quick synopsis is three years ago we did go through a major tragedy here in our department. Our Chief died in LOD. I have every mental vision to pull from of how the weeks go down after a death. I could easily sit and do nothing but worry about having to go through it with my own husband. And there was a time I did. It was a horrible, dark time for me. I’m so thankful I pulled out of it and am on the other side with the motto of living with no regrets. If something happens I don’t want to be looking back wishing I’d spent more time enjoying anyone’s company.

I’ve written a few posts over the years with suggestions for getting over or working around fears. I hope they’ll help!

Engaged and Worried
Does your firefighter worry about your stress?
Advice for a wildland wife

Categories : Everyday, Fire Questions

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