You may remember I asked anyone with questions to please send them my way so I can put more topics up that you readers are interested in.

Ree and her husband come from a similar pre-hire history as my hubby and I did. Except they took it a step further and uprooted while he went to school. Wow, impressive commitment there you two.

Ree asks: My question to anyone out there who knows how hard it is to get into this career is, How do you stay positive and encouraging for your mate as they pursue this dream? Trust me, I want this as much as he does. How can I help?

Well I can tell you that it’s not easy all the time. In fact in that last year before he got hired I was at the point that we were going to have to rethink the whole thing. He wasn’t moving up in his company because he knew he wanted out and they didn’t want to put the money into training and classes because they were aware that he was trying to get hired on with a fire dept. It was hurting us financially. But mostly it was so hard to see him get the rejections. It took a good while for him to get hired on. He’s not a tester so his scores weren’t really high. Even though the physical testing he would max out.

There were times he was totally dejected and I had to step in and push him. A test would be coming up and he would put off studying. Working full-time and OT, then trying to study while having little one’s wanting your attention is a lot. Some days I’d have to guilt him into studying. I had to remind him how much he wanted this and how much more time he’d have to be with the kids once he got on.

In our case he had already been a volunteer for quite a few years. So I also could remind him that he wouldn’t be on standby once he got hired on. (our dept was merging by this time and volunteers rarely got to make the calls) I’d remind him when he got home from drill every Wed. night and would vent, that once he was hired on it would be so awesome to be drilling with others that were totally committed to the fire service and not have to work 8-10 hours, commute 2 hours and then run to drill after.

Because hubby isn’t a very good tester I almost went and took the test with him once. He was running out of ideas on how to get better at testing and he thought that maybe if I took the test then I’d be able to help him study better. I told him I would, but that he knew I am a good tester so what if I made the list? LOL I told him I thought that would be worse for his self esteem, but I was ready to do it if needed.

Just like once they do get hired, listening is the magic. He’s going to need to vent about the process and if he doesn’t have others in his life that are also testing then you’ll be it for him. Listening and just understanding and maybe not even saying anything. I luckily was the one getting the mail most of the time then so I’d call and let him know we’d gotten a letter and try to keep that excitement up that this one was going to be the one! Because eventually it will be.

Anyone else have some words of wisdom from your experience that you can pass on to Ree?

I’ve texted and said “it’s ok” so many times today I guess I hoped I’d believe it. Hubby couldn’t get today off. It was full before he even got a chance to pick. Weird, it’s not spring break and the funny thing is he actually got all of our spring break off. There’s nothing that special to most people about the day after tax day.

It’s our 16th anniversary and I spent it with the kids. Not only with the kids, but with constantly bickering kids that I was too worn out emotionally to make go to bed at a decent time. Or did I just not want to be alone? I don’t know, I just know I’m emotionally beat now and it’s well past my bedtime.

I was busy enough all day that it really wasn’t too bad. He used to work during the day for most of our anniversaries so that’s no different. I had to get all the furniture out of the house because of course, our new stuff was getting delivered. Super exciting and I’m blogging from the new couch right now. lol This was after working a bit this morning. Then take kids to grocery store cause I didn’t want to think about dinner. At store I didn’t even get something for myself, nothing sounded good. Very easy to not think with how much there was to do.

It must have been after 5 by that point because that’s when it was starting to hit. No matter how much I pretend or try to push it aside it just sucks to be spending our anniversary alone. I know there is nothing that could be done about it without him calling in sick or coming home sick. He’d thought about it as he didn’t want to spend our anniversary apart either. But both of us are horrible liars so I’m glad he didn’t do it.

I’m just not up to putting up a brave front and I’ll let him know it sucked. I’m sure he wants to hear it and it won’t make him feel guilty. Some things we just don’t have control over and this probably won’t be the last time it happens. But letting him know I hated it makes me less indifferent. If I pretend it’s all ok then what if he really hated it and I’m coming across as it’s no big deal? Sure wouldn’t make him feel good about our relationship or himself if I don’t tell him my true feelings about it.

I set this to post in the morning as I don’t like to blog saying he’s not home. This hits my twitter account upon posting. The loneliness doesn’t usually hit me so hard that I notice. I do realize it’s there even though I do ignore it. (whole other post should go with that) But right now I’m feeling that loneliness of being a firefighter’s wife that is talked about so much. I’m smack dab in the middle of it.

Tonight there is no way I can sleep without taking the ambien. I want to have breakfast made when he gets home so I do have to get up in the morning and really should be in bed already. Ugh, it’s so tempting to sleep on the couch tonight. Feeling like a big baby tonight and I don’t care.

After last week being such a long work week for all of us, we were so excited for his 4day. Our oldest had homecoming on Saturday so that day went super fast. There’s day 1 right? lol Then yesterday they had a general alarm and of course one of the guys at the station he went to cover went on the transport. So he stayed at the station until the guy got back over an hour after the general alarm went off, so the station could still go on calls. Totally understandable, but that was about 4 hours total and the evening at that.

Today we did yard work and I worked. Tomorrow he’s off fishing for a few hours and then will be more yard work. Then I can’t believe it’s already time for work again. WOW! I remember when he was first hired and 4days was incredibly long. Now it just flies by.

Yes, I know I’m spoiled with the amount of time I get him to myself. But darn if I’m not also spoiled because when he’s home he makes dinner and I get to come home from work and eat. I don’t come home at 7 or 8 and wonder just what junk the kids ate when I wasn’t there to tell them NO. Then of course, like every other single-mom I have to still make dinner some nights when I get home so late. I’m doing MUCH better and freezer cooking, but that doesn’t always mean the kids are on board with it. lol

I guess lately I’ve just been extra mushy. Our relationship is just so good right now. When I spend so much time with him it just makes it that much more difficult to let him go back. lol I’m promising myself to be better. I’m setting up lunch with my girlfriend of almost 30 years this week and one of the other wives for coffee. Believe me, my days are full, but I’d much rather have him sitting next to me to harass while I’m on my laptop and to make fun of things on tv as well.

Hey, life is good and I am in no way complaining. I’ll take each day that is this awesome and treasure it!

I am not sure I can say it any better than FireMom said it today on her blog Stop, Drop and Blog.

If you are nervous because you are dating or planning on marrying a firefighter, then I highly suggest you read her blog post. It’s very well written and narrows our lives down as much as possible. No words minced, just lays it out there as it is. Some of us women can hack it and others are high maintenance and shouldn’t consider the fire life. It’s not easy feeling second, even though we truly KNOW we are not second. There are many times that it is the feeling.

I can’t honestly suggest anymore that anyone marries, no matter the profession. I’ve run into so few women that are ready to commit to the work that it takes to be married. But it really takes a strong woman to stay married to a firefighter and love the life as much as they do. Yes on that note I will toot my own horn. He’s been a firefighter for about 9 years now, so I think I’ve earned my right.

Oh plus it just helps that Firefighters work hard and play harder. Take the pun however you’d like

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I would just like to stress that I’m thankfull so much for my hubby.

I’m thankful that he works his OT shifts and loves his job so it’s no big deal to him. This in turn lets us do so many things.

I’m also thankful that he has started paying some of my bills. He did it without being asked. He just grabbed them. But it has taken a big burden off of me to have him pay these little bills each month. Since he is working more, that leaves me with more family responsibility.

I know he does understand a little bit about my plight, but he’s never had to be in my position. EVER! So I’m thankful for these little gestures that take the pressure off of my schedule so I can be with the kids when he can’t.

I’m also thankful that he doesn’t mind taking OT. That he gets along with any shift and OT shifts are no big deal. I understand if he wasn’t the man he was then he wouldn’t get along with everyone as easily as he does.

I love you hubby!

Yeah, he called and asked if the OT was ok to take and I agreed. We don’t get a lot of 24 OT and if he is ok with working a 72 hour shift, then that is his call.

But then this week has gone from bad to worse with drama and just busy. Of course I hadn’t written on the calendar that it is our relay for life walk tomorrow night when he’s taking the OT and I hadn’t written down that it was cheer tryouts for my daughter. Then my work week was busy, we had a ton of errands in between and I was just damned cranky. It’s only Thursday and I’m just pissed off and cranky and waiting impatiently for his 72 to be over. Umm, it hasn’t been the normal 24 yet! lol

Top it off with the fire banquet that they are working so none of the wives seem to be going. Well I wasn’t going to go either, but it’s been such a crappy week and I’d like to see him as soon as I can. Now I’m scrambling to grab one of the girlfriends and see if she’ll go. I want someone to sit with in case they get called out. LOL

Well now I just got notified by my Mom that my Grandma is in the hospital right now. Breathing issues. She’s very sick with cancer and other ailments. So we’ll see what Dad has to say when he calls my Mom. I hope he is doing ok at the hospital waiting around to hear info. I don’t understand why my Mom doesn’t feel it’s her responsibility to go and sit with him. Goodness, my hubby just asked if I was going to need him to come home so I could go sit with my Dad while he hears news. My Mom disappoints me in her lack of support and emotion. See how this week just gets better every minute? GOOD GRIEF!

Tonight I’m just feeling lonely. No real reason why, it’s just been building. It’s the middle of the set and I have had a good busy week, so what is wrong?

I know after his 4 days I have a harder time. I swear each time the set begins it gets more difficult. Which is weird because of course while he’s home on his 4 day it messes my schedule up. lol I guess I’m just having an oddly difficult time adjusting each week and need to figure out why.

If I think back it is because I’m just not feeling enough attention some days. I know this. I’m not high maintence, but this new life has been a lot of adjusting for me. Prior to this, he did not have “family”. I know I was it, period, IT. We get with and love his family, but they aren’t around all the time. His best friend is around and we love him, but he has issues we can’t help him with and sometimes we just can’t be around him while he learns to deal on his own. But this new family that he does want to spend time with and makes plans with when I’m not around, is something new.

It’s mine to deal with and mine to acknowledge. It’s also mine to let him know how it makes me feel and that he isn’t letting me in on plans before he makes them. I don’t ask that he comes for permission, just the common courtesy of asking if I had any plans first. Especially when I’m just dieing to see him.

Ok, that is the issue right there and I can be the big girl and admit it. There are times I don’t think he misses me as much as I’m missing him. He doesn’t seem to be dieing to get home to say hi, but yet I can’t wait for him to get home.

See what blogging can accomplish? Now I have my discussion all ready for tomorrow after work or later on Friday since he works again on Thursday. We already set a date to go to this chili house in Seattle that has been on the food network. lol Hope I haven’t bored you too much with the rambling on this post. But this is how I roll. I have to work it out to keep my sanity!

I’m a member of a great community called Fire Wives. This is a very supportive community to help all of us wives deal with the every day issues that pop up. We vent, we cheer, we cry together when big events happen.

Angela has started a great weekly post called My Husband Rocks. We understand that a lot of times we need support on this forum because stuff goes down, or we want to shake off the little stuff in life and not drag our husbands down with it. There is enough on their plate without bringing every little daily thing to their attention all the time. So Angela wanted to keep a great positive vibe going and created this weekly post. If you go on there you can read mine, I’m busymomma on the boards. If you join us over there make sure and give a shout out that you found us through me I’d love to hear that I helped bring more wives/girlfriends/fiance’s some help.