Please be sure that I’ve seen many second marriages that are working VERY well in the fire department. Unfortunately I have my ring of wives from the dept and from his old construction life that I call “the first wives”. They just aren’t up to the emotional work that a marriage takes, let alone the stress of being a fire wife.

I had an incredible 2 days with my Aunt and we talked so much about our relationships. We got to talking about the department of course as she always has tons of questions. But especially with how can hubby deal with the negative and horrible things he sees all the time. I told her that’s what I’m for. Yes, now that he is paid it is so much better because it’s immediately a debriefing and hashing things out with your brothers. But before, that as a volunteer, I was his debriefing. I can’t stand needles and want to throw up when I hear stories. I learned to adapt to what my husband needed so he could survive mentally and do what is his calling. She said she couldn’t have done that and I reminded her it wasn’t a choice. I had to adapt, period. We either adapt to what our partners need or we are not a partner.

Please know that I am praying for you. God can turn beauty from ashes and give you a fresh start.

Blessings,
Stacie
http://www.afirefighterswife.blogspot.com

For so long in the fire department I had a macho image of, if you fall down get up and brush yourself off and move on. 20 years later Ive learned its not easy to do. Everything Ive ever been thru came crashing down one night and Im thankful to be here.

God Bless you for having the couarge to write as a Firefighters wife!

: )

Thank you for sharing your story. We recently have went through some major issues and came out the other side. Communication is so key for any relationship to work.

God did a real miracle in my husband and I’s marriage after our second child was born. My husband went into “provision mode” and began to gobble up overtime like crazy. We NEVER saw him. To add to the frustration I could never go anywhere without the children because he was always afraid that he would miss a call. This led to horrendous fights and our communication came to a standstill. Through some wonderful counseling and Steve breaking his foot shortly afterwards (he had to go on short-term disability and we had to rely on his straight-time) God turned our marriage around. We have now been married almost 14 years and are expecting our sixth child. We have never relied on overtime like that again and are more content with what we have. We have also determined to get ourselves out of debt and God enabled us to pay off $20,000 worth of debt in ONE YEAR! Being out of debt has taken such a load off of my husband and he does not feel the pressure of having to get as much overtime. For this I am very thankful, because then he spends more time with us (which is where his heart is anyway).

Thank you for posting this. I do look forward to watching it. I have it in my Netflix wish list.