For the Firefighters
What makes the fire life the fire life? The firefighters! While the fire wives hold down the fort at home, the firefighters are out fighting fires, going on medical calls, sleeping sporadically, and missing their families back home. No one quite understands a firefighter’s life like another firefighter.
It doesn’t end at work.
Just because you leave the station, it doesn’t mean your work is done. Supporting your wife and family on little to no sleep takes a lot of strength. You may have to be a functional loving husband, dad, repairman, boss, employee at a second job, house cleaner, or any other position you take on away from the station. You are not only heroes at work, but heroes at home with your family as well.
Another Bad Call
ANOTHER. BAD. CALL. Unfortunately, we don't always know when our firefighters have had a bad call. Sometimes they fly right under the radar, getting hidden in a compartment somewhere they didn’t even know they had. Our husbands are almost constantly exposed to...
Don’t Hoard the Trauma
You don’t have to hoard the trauma - throw it out. Well, maybe it’s not as easy as throwing it out… but we do have the ability to fight trauma head-on as it happens versus storing it away to grow into a bigger problem over time. Listen to this new way to look...
What to Say to Your Firefighter When He’s Had a Bad Call
You can feel the air turn tense before a word is even said. You know it was a bad shift. Something must have happened to make such a drastic change in your firefighter. Maybe he is angry, or silent, or sad....you just know something isn't right. Do you ask about it?...
When a Firefighter is Irritable, Grumpy, and Disengaged When He’s Home
This article is so important because we’ve all been there yet so few admit it and talk about it. There is no shame in relating to this or even sharing this post. You never know who is suffering and needs these words. Let’s just start with these words straight from the...
Is Alcohol Tearing Your Firefighting Family Apart?
Most of us keep a pretty regular schedule. We go to sleep and wake up at pretty much the same time every day. We have our weekday routine and our weekend routine. Our bodies are keeping track of our routines as well—physically and mentally. So many of our bodily...
21 Days on the Path to a Sober Firefighter – Finale
If you have been following the journey of this firefighter committing to his marriage, career, and family by getting sober, you know how powerful his story is. If you need to catch up on the previous posts, read Part 1 here and Part 2 here. DAY 14 I think I know why...
21 Days on the Path to a Sober Firefighter – Part 2
If you have not read Part 1 of this powerful story, click here to catch up. Below is a story of one firefighter who took sobriety into his own hands for 21 days and documented his journey to a healthier firefighter, father, and husband. DAY 6 Duty Day. Normally this...
21 Days on the Path to a Sober Firefighter – Part 1
We are all familiar with the stress of not just the fire life as far as scheduling, long shifts, and difficult communication go. The firefighters are the ones facing the difficult calls and trying to figure out how to deal with them emotionally. There has to be a...
Avoid Putting Callouses in the Hearts of Your Loved Ones
"One more minute Daddy" We have a ritual with our oldest child, Ayla, who is three years old. We finish each nightly bedtime routine by starting with three, and counting down the minutes until it’s time to go to sleep. She decided on her own one night, that after one...
Another Bad Call
ANOTHER. BAD. CALL. Unfortunately, we don't always know when our firefighters have had a bad call. Sometimes they fly right under the radar, getting hidden in a compartment somewhere they didn’t even know they had. Our husbands are almost constantly exposed to...
Don’t Hoard the Trauma
You don’t have to hoard the trauma - throw it out. Well, maybe it’s not as easy as throwing it out… but we do have the ability to fight trauma head-on as it happens versus storing it away to grow into a bigger problem over time. Listen to this new way to look...
What to Say to Your Firefighter When He’s Had a Bad Call
You can feel the air turn tense before a word is even said. You know it was a bad shift. Something must have happened to make such a drastic change in your firefighter. Maybe he is angry, or silent, or sad....you just know something isn't right. Do you ask about it?...
Avoid Putting Callouses in the Hearts of Your Loved Ones
"One more minute Daddy" We have a ritual with our oldest child, Ayla, who is three years old. We finish each nightly bedtime routine by starting with three, and counting down the minutes until it’s time to go to sleep. She decided on her own one night, that after one...
Father’s Day Advice from Hallmark
All credit for the Father's Day holiday this year goes to Hallmark. Who can say it better? I'm that girl who gets choked up reading the cards in the aisle at the grocery store. And the one who bawled her eyes out at all those Hallmark commercials (well, they were...
Another Bad Call
ANOTHER. BAD. CALL. Unfortunately, we don't always know when our firefighters have had a bad call. Sometimes they fly right under the radar, getting hidden in a compartment somewhere they didn’t even know they had. Our husbands are almost constantly exposed to...
Don’t Hoard the Trauma
You don’t have to hoard the trauma - throw it out. Well, maybe it’s not as easy as throwing it out… but we do have the ability to fight trauma head-on as it happens versus storing it away to grow into a bigger problem over time. Listen to this new way to look...
To My Dear Husband, I Am Worried Your Heart Has Hardened
As fire wives we must understand this : Our husbands are exposed to trauma everyday. Sometimes, it isn’t one large traumatic event that can take a mental toll on your spouse, it’s the constant and continual exposure to these so-called ‘minor’ traumas...
The Fire Department is Destroying Us All
Let’s not pretend this thought to quit the fire service never crosses your mind. (and if you are living some amazing fire life where it never has, can we ask for a moment of your silence here because based on our experiences with this world, you are the...
Have you normalized DefCon5 in your house?
Did you know (or forget?) that when someone is regularly around crazy high levels of crisis (which is every single first responder, and their families secondarily), that high level of crazy can be normalized? You don't even feel the crazy, until the...
Why Your Holiday Feelings are Bigger (and how to guide that sleigh)
You know what feels good when life gets crazy? Validation that you aren't crazy. Yes, Virginia, Your Fire Family Christmas IS Extra crazytown. We validate that as professionals with professional advice. You already know this as a fire family (but let's check...
Fire Wife Wisdom {On Duty Communication Plan}
Do you have a plan about how and when you contact your firefighter? We often get the question, "I have a problem (insert a long list of possible issues from mild to important ), should I call my firefighter, or wait until he gets off duty?" "I have this...
New Traditions in the Face of a Covid Thanksgiving
The Fire Community is no stranger to disappointing holidays. We’ve all had to learn to adapt to scheduling conflicts, unexpected changes and spouses/families being alone on some of the most special days of the year. We have to get creative and create new...
A Cry For Help From The Homefront of the First Responder Mental Health Crisis
This article is a call for accountability to solve a root cause as to why violence happens by first responders. We live in a world where I need to add that disclaimer. Let's get on with the important work. This is a marathon, not a sprint and a healthier humanity...
Top 5 Signs Your Husband Needs to “Know His Numbers”
You know what makes relationships so difficult? There can be a million and one reasons why one of you is "off" and two million and one chances for the partner to not notice. Was it something I said? Boy, that topic always sets us off! He sure is extra grumpy today....
When a Firefighter is Irritable, Grumpy, and Disengaged When He’s Home
This article is so important because we’ve all been there yet so few admit it and talk about it. There is no shame in relating to this or even sharing this post. You never know who is suffering and needs these words. Let’s just start with these words straight from the...