You may remember I asked anyone with questions to please send them my way so I can put more topics up that you readers are interested in.
Ree and her husband come from a similar pre-hire history as my hubby and I did. Except they took it a step further and uprooted while he went to school. Wow, impressive commitment there you two.
Ree asks: My question to anyone out there who knows how hard it is to get into this career is, How do you stay positive and encouraging for your mate as they pursue this dream? Trust me, I want this as much as he does. How can I help?
Well I can tell you that it’s not easy all the time. In fact in that last year before he got hired I was at the point that we were going to have to rethink the whole thing. He wasn’t moving up in his company because he knew he wanted out and they didn’t want to put the money into training and classes because they were aware that he was trying to get hired on with a fire dept. It was hurting us financially. But mostly it was so hard to see him get the rejections. It took a good while for him to get hired on. He’s not a tester so his scores weren’t really high. Even though the physical testing he would max out.
There were times he was totally dejected and I had to step in and push him. A test would be coming up and he would put off studying. Working full-time and OT, then trying to study while having little one’s wanting your attention is a lot. Some days I’d have to guilt him into studying. I had to remind him how much he wanted this and how much more time he’d have to be with the kids once he got on.
In our case he had already been a volunteer for quite a few years. So I also could remind him that he wouldn’t be on standby once he got hired on. (our dept was merging by this time and volunteers rarely got to make the calls) I’d remind him when he got home from drill every Wed. night and would vent, that once he was hired on it would be so awesome to be drilling with others that were totally committed to the fire service and not have to work 8-10 hours, commute 2 hours and then run to drill after.
Because hubby isn’t a very good tester I almost went and took the test with him once. He was running out of ideas on how to get better at testing and he thought that maybe if I took the test then I’d be able to help him study better. I told him I would, but that he knew I am a good tester so what if I made the list? LOL I told him I thought that would be worse for his self esteem, but I was ready to do it if needed.
Just like once they do get hired, listening is the magic. He’s going to need to vent about the process and if he doesn’t have others in his life that are also testing then you’ll be it for him. Listening and just understanding and maybe not even saying anything. I luckily was the one getting the mail most of the time then so I’d call and let him know we’d gotten a letter and try to keep that excitement up that this one was going to be the one! Because eventually it will be. 
Anyone else have some words of wisdom from your experience that you can pass on to Ree?
Thank you, thank you…. my husband and I are sitting here tonight on “pins and needles” awaiting the yes or no. We were supposed to know this week and have one day to go!! This encouragement was just what we needed. I hope to be able to post some good news here, but in the meantime you have been so helpful. Any more words of encouragement are greatly appreciated!
I feel your pain!! It took us years and years to get hired on. The only other thing I can think to recommend would be to keep adding to your resume, if possible. That way, you have the hope of “maybe next time we’ll get it because now you’re a certified CPR instructor” to help keep your chin up.
That, and test everywhere so there’s always the next department to look forward to. I used to do the applications for my husband, it was one thing I could do to help. I signed on with governmentjobs.com and some of the other websites that list testing agencies, and sent out tons of applications. We tested with probably 30 agencies before he got hired on full-time.
Looking back, it was a very long, painful process — but totally worth it!! Good luck, I hope you get that acceptance letter soon!!
Ree, all my fingers and toes are crossed that today is the day!
Katie, thanks for posting some more advice for her
Unfortunately today is not “the day”. Got the call on Sunday night while we has company for dinner. Bad timing for sure. Well, on to the next dept. Thanks for you support everyone:)
Sorry it wasn’t the right fit Ree. Goodness, we had so many no’s before we got on. I’m so thankful they were all no’s. I know at the time it was horrible, but any of the other’s we would have had a major paycut and would have been well out of our area. Getting on where we did means he never has to look for the grass to be greener in another department
Just our experience!
Your words hit home for a few reasons. One is that I LOVE that you said “we” got on. I always think of it as a family endeavor and I believe that this is probably how you have to view this career. Also, you made me think about how much we really wanted to stay here where we landed after fire school and made our first application to the Fire Dept of his dreams. The original email stated that they decided to hire less than they anticipated, so although he passed all of the tests and was very successful in the interview, there was no room for him on the current list. We then proceeded to apply everywhere. In the meantime, funny enough, we just received a positive email explaining that they ended up needing more candidates after all!! So exciting. The prospect being a start in August. If this doesn’t happen, they asked him to reapply for this years recruit. So, we have done this and now await the news. So, I appreciate your thoughts, because this dept fits and I know it! There will be no need to look for “greener grass” as you said. Having been through this last process only made us stronger, and proved to us that we really do want this, as a family.
I waited to reply to this comment. It brought tears to my eyes. I read your comment to my hubby 2 days ago and told him how much I knew this was how we felt. That unless it’s VERY extenuating circumstances, he is home for life right now with the first hire.
Even if we did go to a different city/dept somewhere down the road, this is still our family that we’ve created in such a short time. It’s such a unique situation and I relish every one of our friends for the fact that they are truly family. I wish this on you as well