Oh lonely, how I loath thee

Tonight I’m just feeling lonely. No real reason why, it’s just been building. It’s the middle of the set and I have had a good busy week, so what is wrong?

I know after his 4 days I have a harder time. I swear each time the set begins it gets more difficult. Which is weird because of course while he’s home on his 4 day it messes my schedule up. lol I guess I’m just having an oddly difficult time adjusting each week and need to figure out why.

If I think back it is because I’m just not feeling enough attention some days. I know this. I’m not high maintence, but this new life has been a lot of adjusting for me. Prior to this, he did not have “family”. I know I was it, period, IT. We get with and love his family, but they aren’t around all the time. His best friend is around and we love him, but he has issues we can’t help him with and sometimes we just can’t be around him while he learns to deal on his own. But this new family that he does want to spend time with and makes plans with when I’m not around, is something new.

It’s mine to deal with and mine to acknowledge. It’s also mine to let him know how it makes me feel and that he isn’t letting me in on plans before he makes them. I don’t ask that he comes for permission, just the common courtesy of asking if I had any plans first. Especially when I’m just dieing to see him.

Ok, that is the issue right there and I can be the big girl and admit it. There are times I don’t think he misses me as much as I’m missing him. He doesn’t seem to be dieing to get home to say hi, but yet I can’t wait for him to get home.

See what blogging can accomplish? Now I have my discussion all ready for tomorrow after work or later on Friday since he works again on Thursday. We already set a date to go to this chili house in Seattle that has been on the food network. lol Hope I haven’t bored you too much with the rambling on this post. But this is how I roll. I have to work it out to keep my sanity!

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