Should You Push Him Into Firefighting Job?

Well grab your coffee, tea, wine or beer, this one will be a longer read than normal. But I just can’t paraphrase this readers email to me without losing the feel. She’s looking for help and suggestions and you know you are all invited to NICELY give your opinion

Question: Hi Val, I contacted you close to a year ago now and you were very inspirational and helpful to me. My husband has always dreamed of becoming a firefighter and our stories were very similar. We sold our home on the west coast and took our two young children on an adventure. We bought a travel trailer and camped all summer while he completed fire school. While in fire school he applied anywhere that was accepting resumes. We decided to take a chance and move to the most likely position. Far from family but it’s fine.

Unfortunatley, after two attempts(first time making it 2 spots away, 2nd time not even passing apptitude) he is still not hired. So, being the go getter that he is (love him) he went and got his real estate license to keep us going and have the flexibility to fly all over and chase his dream. Not surprisingly, he is very successful at it, and is loving it.

In the meantime, a department that he applied to ages ago called and fast tracked him through to the interview. He was called the next day saying he passed and is quickly moving on. Problem being that although it is a fantastic department and city, it means a move and breaking his realty partnership with his best friend. It also means about 1/4 of the pay that he is used to now.

I am so afraid that if he doesnt take the job he will regret it for the rest of his life. Only months ago it was all he could dream about. I want it for him regardless of whether or not I will have to work and he gets a second job until the pay increases. Please help me! Is it the most wonderful and fullfilling job that he always dreamed of and worth the initial cut in income? Should I push him to go for it? I need help!

My Answer: I would be just as worried about him making the mistake he will always regret and walking away from the opportunity. He’s in a rough spot and I can imagine all the things running through his head. Uprooting his family again, taking a HUGE paycut, no job security because he’d be so new, will he actually love it once he’s hired or have wasted his time?

In my eyes you only have one answer and that is to sit down and voice all of your concerns and wants for him. Work hard at not getting him defensive at all or the conversation will take a big jump into ugly. Just explain that you worry about all of the things you wrote above and you want to make sure he is happy because then as a family and couple you have a better chance of being happy.

It’s possible he really does like his job now as a realtor and the freedom that extra money is giving your family. So keep that in mind

Explain that you stand behind any decision he makes and are willing to go back to work to help the family. Like I mentioned, this is usually a big weight on their minds when making the decision. I know it was for my husband as well for a few years some of the departments he was applying too would have paid less than half of what he was making in construction and the commute would have been around 2 hours. There were several times I had to remind him it didn’t matter where he got on we just needed in the door. That we’d work out everything else after.

I’m not sure about the economy where this move would be too. I know if we’d had to take a pay cut that steep and lived in the same area we are now he may not have been able to do it even if I did get a full-time job. But the cost of living is high in the Seattle area and housing was REALLY high back then. Is it possible for him to get his realty license in the new area? Again, whether or not that helps your situation will depend on the area. Come to think of it, it also may be difficult for him to keep appointments if he gets called to work. But is it a possibility that you could work the business with him? Just throwing out an option.

Communication is key in any relationship of course. But in this industry starting out talking will start the job off right. It’s going to take a lot of communication between you two if he does decide to join the fire department. Better to start that communication right off the bat.

Good luck and thanks for keeping me posted on how things are going. I love to hear that he’s even coming up with the option.

Does anyone else have an opinion or helpful tips if you’ve been there?

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