You know you’re a firefighter when

1. You can tell what type of fire it is by the smell of smoke 10 miles away.
2. You have ever had a heated debate over the color of fire trucks.
3. You have ever spent 10 min trying to force open a door only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle.
4. You have ever slept in a hose bed.
5. You’ve ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane.
6. You have ever said, “She’s hot tonight” and not been talking about a girl.
7. You have ever had “yoda ears.”
8. You have ever smoked and there wasn’t a cigarette in sight.
9. You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn’t wait for water.
10. Your kids are afraid to get into water fights with you.
11. You have ever uttered the words, “I can break the door if you need me to Cap,” before actually testing to see if it is locked.
12. If you have more toy fire trucks than your kids do.
13. You run towards a dangerous situation and not away from it.
14. You have ever been dressed from head to foot in rubber and it was not a sexual experience.
15. Your idea of ventilation is done with a chainsaw and not a Bag-Valve-Mask.
16. You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in a fire zone or in front of a hydrant.
17. You take pride in the fact that you haven’t washed your gear in years.
18. All the shirts you own say you are a firefighter.
19. The smell of a fire excites you more than sex does.
20. A great stop has nothing to do with a moving vehicle.
21. You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old.
22. You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves.

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