The Love Dare – Day 3

by | The Love Dare

 You Made it to Day 3 of The Love Dare!

(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife)


Love is not selfish

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor.

Romans 12:10


Excerpt from The Love Dare Book

“Nobody knows you as well as your spouse. And that means no one will be quicker to recognize a change when you deliberately start sacrificing your wants and wishes to make sure his or her needs are met.

If you find it hard to sacrifice your own desires to benefit your spouse, then you may have a deeper problem with selfishness than you want to admit.”

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I truly want what’s best for my husband or wife?

• Do I want them to feel loved by me?

• Do they believe I have their best interests in mind?

• Do they see me as looking out for myself first?

Whether you like it or not, you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you, especially in the eyes of your spouse. But is it a loving reputation? Remember, your marriage partner also has the challenge of loving a selfish person. So determine to be the first to demonstrate real love to them, with your eyes wide open. And when all is said and done, you’ll both be more fulfilled.”

Today’s Dare

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments,  buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking of you today.”



Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit
but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3


How are you doing?

Has it been easy, or are you struggling?

Have shift days made it easier or harder to complete your dares?



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On a mission to be and inspire us all to be better humans, to strengthen fire families & marriages, to nurture and encourage fire wives, do "good business" in all areas of my life and of course, love on my 4 kids.

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  1. Carmen Burbridge

    Lori, thank you for your faithfulness and devotion in leading the Love Dare! You have been so unselfish with your time and are blessing your sisters daily!

    What really struck me today is the concept that SELFISHNESS is the opposite of LOVE. Isn’t it so true that almost all sinful actions can be traced back to a selfish motive? Isn’t it so easy to justify being selfish to ourselves, but hate that trait in others? I know when I feel that my husband is being selfish (such as not offering me the choice of a television show after I get home from working 12 hours) and I just feel I can’t stand watching another show about guns, it starts to make me feel bitter, yet my response is one of selfishness in itself.

    What is really convicting to me is that if God is love, and selfishness is the opposite of love, it must be from the enemy! How sad that our culture is devoted to selfish desires (You deserve this expensive purchase! You deserve fulfillment of every desire! You need a better house, car, ect). How easy it is to desire things before God! I see again and again how much I need Jesus! God, please help me be a selfLESS wife!

  2. Rae

    I enjoyed your video, I was wondering where did you get the love dare cards? I have been slacking to order the book, I am not as Techy as you …lol I have the samsung tablet so do I just download the Kindle App, or do i just go to the play store and get the book? – Curious Rae

    • WifeOnFire

      Rae – you can go to the playstore and look for the kindle app (or it might be an amazon app but I’m guessing kindle). Then through the kindle app you can search all the books in the amazon book store and order them. *or* just go back to my original post from your tablet and click the amazon link to order it. It will work like magic and add it to your kindle app.
      I got the love dare cards a few years ago at a christian bookstore called LifeWay. But they say the same thing as my posts. Plus I am linking each day to KLove radio’s blog because they did The Love Dare earlier this year and have a post each day as well. So technically you could do it without buying the book.

      • Rachel Linder

        Can you make something if you don’t have money to buy something

        • Jessie -

          Rachel, yes. Do what works best for YOU.

  3. Karyn Soto

    My firefighter husband and I were separated almost a year and a half ago. We have two small children together
    When we first split, I dove into the love dare. I learned so much but was completely rejected by my husband.

    This past weekend, seemingly out of nowhere, he reached out to tell me that although we have a long way to go, he wants to try.

    Back to the love dare I go. Please pray that we are able to rebuild on the foundation of Christ.

    • Jessie

      Ah!!! Karyn!!! Such wonderful news. Sometimes we suffer through seasons and I’m happy to see you’re receptive to him! Praying for your family to be transformed and solid!

    • Dwight

      Love! I pray all is well.

  4. Matt

    I’m going to be starting Day 3 tomorrow and I am terrified. My wife and I have been separated now for a week exactly. The last thing i dropped off at the house for her as a gift ended up in the street. I don’t want to upset her. Should I have waited to start the love date? I want to give her her space and time but I also don’t want to give up on my commitment to the book and to bettering myself for her.

    • FirefighterWife

      Hey Matt. We wish we had the answers for everyone, but you know her best and if you think something will hurt more than help perhaps you skip that day? All relationships are different and face different struggles. We hope that there is reconciliation for you and that your efforts produce a better version of yourself because we all have to stave to be the best versions of us… for us and others in our lives.
      And as always, individual counseling is our favorite resource in general because we could all use someone to help us navigate our thoughts sometimes.



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