The Love Dare – Day 4

by | The Love Dare

You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here at The Love Dare with FirefighterWife.

Love is thoughtful

How precious also are Your thoughts to me. . . . How vast is the sum of them! If
I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.

Psalm 139:17–18

Excerpt from The Love Dare Book

A woman deeply longs for her husband to be thoughtful. It is a key to helping her feel loved. When she speaks, a wise man will listen like a detective to discover the unspoken needs and desires her words imply. If, however, she always has to put the pieces together for him, it steals the opportunity for him to demonstrate that he loves her.

This also explains why women will get upset with their husbands without telling them why. In her mind she’s thinking, “I shouldn’t have to spell it out for him. He should be able to look at the situation and see what’s going on here.” At the same time, he’s grieved because he can’t read her mind and wonders why he’s being punished for a crime he didn’t know he committed.


Today’s Dare

Be intentional with your actions.  Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

Is this going to be easy or hard for you?  Comment below or participate in our  FirefighterWife community.

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.

Philippians 1:3


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On a mission to be and inspire us all to be better humans, to strengthen fire families & marriages, to nurture and encourage fire wives, do "good business" in all areas of my life and of course, love on my 4 kids.

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  1. volunteeringtami

    So far – it has been amazing! I can’t believe how well my Hubs has responded. Today before I had even read what Day 4 was he emailed to ask me if there was anything I needed him to pick up today when he went uptown. On Day 3 he even cuddled me in close and was the first one to say “I love you”. I know he does but its not the usual for him to just say it for no reason and to say it first!! Can’t wait for day 5!

  2. Carmen Burbridge

    Today, we were encouraged to be thoughtful and to even think ahead to the next “holiday.”. I have been thinking a lot lately about how people seem to care less about September 11th and how I, as a firefighter wife can honor my husband and assure that he knows we value his heroism on this day, when so many of his brothers were lost.

    What I like best about the Love Dare is that it’s not about how my husband responds, but how my heart is changed. I’m reminded to turn away from self and put my husbands needs first. Isn’t that the best marriage relationship? Isn’t that what God has given us?

    • Cj rickerson

      I am trying to save a lost and broken marriage. Day one went with no response. Day two no response. Day four no response other then I need to work on me and give her her space. No luck so far I’ll keep you posted

  3. Megan

    So yesterday I bought him an electric razor. He had previously mentioned that he wanted one for the car, in case he went to the station last minute. He was so confused / shocked that I thought he didn’t like it. So I bought him some Thin Mints from the girl scount next door — he definitely knew he was loved!

    My unexpected thing from Tuesday had to be postponed, because of recents events. He should be home tonight and hopefully we can make that Academy shadowbox! He’s been asking about it for months, and I cannot wait to help him out and finish it!

  4. Chel Fletcher

    The first two days were hard don’t get me wrong but the response I was getting was almost surprising. Day 3 ways a little more tough I couldn’t imagine what to do. My man hates things bought for him he wants us to get things for our daughters or myself. So being our daughters birthdays are both this week I suggested we take them to a nice dinner and we all have whatever we want sky’s the limit and we finished with big desserts for each of us. Not sure if this fits the dare for day 3 but that’s what I decided to go with.

    • Lori Mercer - WifeOnFire

      I say that counts 🙂 Sounds like a special treat for sure! My hubby’s birthday is tomorrow so I was struggling with what to do also.

  5. Traci Shadle

    Things are going great ! I will pick up my book today at lunch , but we are doing great. This morning I got a text that read “just wanted u to know I love you and miss you” Talk about a heart melter ! With the memorial service yesterday and the LODD this came at a great time for me. Yesterday for day 3 I took off work(very hard to do) and we went as a family to the memorial service, watched him and his brothers and sisters in the procession and were there for him all day. Today is an easy challenge, but he is making it easy and doesn’t even know it. The other night our teenagers were whining about going to the memorial service and he apparently was ease dropping as I explained that there would be a new law around our house, a more empathetic and respectful one for his job and its stresses and the moods it brings out in him subconsciously. He thanked me for my words to the kids and I said it was nothing that hasn’t needed to be said for along time. Our daughter ran into our bedroom crying and grabbed him and hugged him and said she was sorry. I excused myself and let them talk. Seeing a new kiddo now. Then our oldest son asked if he could take the camera yesterday and take pics of the procession. He did an awesome job and now I can see a bit more respect for his step dad and his job. God works in mysterious ways and even though those four LODD are so tragic, they have made a new lease on life in our house. Im so excited for what each new day brings.

  6. Lorrie

    This week my husband is on stand by with an engine at the smoke jumper base for the helipad so it has been difficult. I was able to pop in and bring him his iced coffee between flights. At first he was angry. Then the other two guys from his truck guys graciously said thank you for their coffee and said they wished they had a wife/girlfriend that supported them from home.

  7. Tiffany Fetty

    Day 1 was very easy. I was at work and I’ve been staying at my dads this week due to a hectic work schedule so we haven’t seen each other much. But we’ve both been making an effort to do this challenge together. My special thing for him for day 3 will happen next week when I have a little more time but I am going to make him Greek food for dinner one night- made from my family’s own recipes. I haven’t done that in a while and it’s one of his favorite things. Spanokopita, falafel pita sandwiches with fresh tzatziki, and homemade hummus. He’s already excited. Things are already starting to get better for us. We are both being more thoughtful toward each other and more loving. Last night he gave me the most amazing back massage after I strained it at work. Then we were intimate with each other- that hasn’t happened in a longtime (and we’ve been married less than 2 years) nor have either of us really felt the urge to try anything. I’m really excited for this challenge because I know it will get harder as things progress but it’s still easier than the arguing and the fighting and the screaming. He’s excited too.

  8. Tena M Bailey

    I’m struggling with the love dare. He said I hurt him too much to get back together. I will continue to do the love dare challenge. Pray for us. He has seen someone else 2 times now. Says she is nothing lot me except she is enjoyable to talk to and he made some money to talk to right now they went out 2 times and they text a lot and call each other.

    • FirefighterWife

      Tena, we hear you. We’re so sorry you’re in this heavy season. You continue the Dare, and take care of yourself. Unfortunately, no matter how much we want to or try to, we cannot make anyone do or feel anything they aren’t. Because we all love our own counselors and therapists, we do suggest talking to someone on your own. A professional if possible but if not, a pastor or a wise friend. Sending up prayers for you, him and your marriage.

  9. Rachel Linder

    I am unable to do this dare The right way as it’s written because my husband asked me not to contact him so that’s what I’m doing however I decided to make him some tea gallons worth so he doesn’t have to do it when he gets home. My husband is not a fire fighter nor am I I’m just trying to do this dare as best as I can without disrespecting him because in the Bible it says for us to respect our husband



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