(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife)
Love is not rude
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning,
it will be reckoned a curse to him.
Excerpt from The Love Dare Book
“The bottom line is that genuine love minds its manners.
Embracing this one concept could add some fresh air to your marriage. Good manners express to your wife or husband, “I value you enough to exercise some self-control around you. I want to be a person who’s a pleasure to be with.” When you allow love to change your behavior—even in the smallest of ways—you restore an atmosphere of honor to your relationship. People who practice good etiquette tend to raise the respect level of the environment around them.”
Remember the talk of selflessness and not being too self-focused in the past couple of days? That’s been the most powerful part of this dare for me. Just taking a deep breath and saying “Love. Love. Unconditional. Slow to anger. Patient. Helpful.” So I thought this image was a good depiction of today’s message.
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
The words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious.
Also from the book:
“If you’re thinking that your spouse—not you—is the one who needs work in this area, you’re likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness. Remember, love is not rude but lifts you to a higher standard.
Do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it’s time to stop doing the things that bother them. Will you be thoughtful and loving enough to discover and avoid the behavior that causes life to be unpleasant for your mate? Will you dare to be delightful?”
Pride is one of my personal biggest sins. And hearing criticisms of myself is not easy. And telling each other where we need to improve has always been a difficult communication challenge for us. So I’m really not looking forward to trying this one. But with God….all things are possible. And this is why we wanted to do The Love Dare right? I can already see how doing the dare will allow me to become a better person and truly change my heart, even if it does nothing for my husband. Ah, but, if I have a more loving heart, there is no doubt he will feel the impact of that.
Here is a big question for you all…
If this is a shift day, are you going to try this conversation over the phone or wait until you are in person? Perhaps by email or letter would be easier to ask, or even easier to reply?
Comment below or join us in our FirefighterWife community!
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