Tough Times, Big Hearts and Fast Friendships

by | Everyday

When I took over this site in the spring, I was super excited about digging deeper into the fire family community.  What I never expected was to so quickly find a community of women whom I couldn’t wait to tell about my latest blessing or vent about my recent burden.  A community of women who have moved me to tears countless times.

I smile almost every time I read a new post in our private group (click to register).

It is said over and over what a drama-free, non-judgemental, completely understanding group of women this is.  That pretty much sums it up.

Honestly, I started this group on a whim.   My gut said that lots of women were reading this stuff (I could tell that from the website statistics) but there wasn’t as much conversation as I expected in comments or on the Facebook page.   But I was getting emails and private messages like this one that brought me to tears:

My husband and I will be celebrating our 9yrs. this year. Other then my husband being on a volunteer firefighter. He works as a EMT-B for a couple of hospitals. Here lately we hit a bump in the road. We’re starting to get back. After reading your stories it helps me to stay steady with my heart. And to keep focus on being a good wife. 
Thank you for the stories.

There is clearly a need in the firefighter wife community and it’s not being met at your local department.

Why a private facebook group?   I had recently joined another private group related to my technical web development and it was really active and really helpful.  Maybe a private group would generate more discussion?   So while I was sitting next to the bath tub while my 5 year old was playing (she takes 30 minute baths every night and its a wondrous break for all of us from her high energy, high maintenance personality!), I quickly formed the private group from my iPad and invited only 2 of my personal facebook friends who are fire wives in cities different from me.  Then I dropped a short post on our Facebook page.

In the 20 minutes it took me to finish her bath, help her get dressed and walk downstairs to turn on her favorite night time show, FORTY WOMEN HAD REQUESTED PERMISSION TO JOIN!

I spent the next hour accepting and welcoming them all as members.  And I spent the next day accepting and welcoming SIXTY MORE!

There were almost 100 members by the end of Day 2 and these women NEVER. STOP. TALKING.

I know there is at least one wife in Australia and someone from the UK and many all over the US and Canada.  And just three weeks later we have 242 members and added another administrator to keep up with the pace.

Here’s just a few quotes from the women in the group:

These women from ALL over and with different opinions give so much support and advice. They know exactly what it is like. Being able to share and not worry about something negative coming from it. Support is the biggest thing though. I was so shocked to have ladies experience what I have experienced and how each one has given me advice on what to do. Just wonderful to have that “back up”

Daily, I see at least one post where my response is “yes, THAT!”

What I love about the group Firefighter Wife is the community of women who understand exactly what I’m going through and who can support me as I support the man I love.

What I most enjoy about this group is the ability to be open and share intimate details OR provide an answer without judgement. For sure.

 It’s all about connecting with other women who know what it’s like because no matter how much other people want to support us, they just don’t get it!

I look forward everyday to keeping up with the details of these ladies lives.  Funny stories.  Tough times.  The craziness our husbands bring home from the firehouse.

These are fast friends.  And you know what comes next?

We get to meet each other in person next summer for the first annual Firefighter Wife LIVE gathering!


The following two tabs change content below.
On a mission to be and inspire us all to be better humans, to strengthen fire families & marriages, to nurture and encourage fire wives, do "good business" in all areas of my life and of course, love on my 4 kids.

Latest posts by Firefighter Wife (see all)


  1. Lyn

    I love the private group. You can say what you want, knowing your hubby and other friends can’t read it. I never wanna pass or spread worry or fear in our community, having this outlet is great. After being a fire wife for a few years I really felt a lack of support for the wives. On our dept the families only all get together once or twice a year at a Christmas party or summer picnic. It is hard to build relationships in that time. Facbook helped connect a bit to a few of the ladies at our department, but you sort of guard what you say to each other. Politically correct, ranks, positions, all that drama. The private group is great because there is none of that! Great Job !!!

  2. Jessica

    Lyn that is exactly how I feel! I tried finding support and friendship within the department but sadly here, there is too much silly drama and the need to be guarded. My “regular” friends have dwindled because no one understands usually. I’ve only been a member for a week but with my husband working for the last five days, I at least didn’t feel alone.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *