(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife)
Love Forgives
What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ.
2 Corinthians 2:10
Excerpt from The Love Dare Book:
“This one is tough – perhaps the toughest dare in the book. But if there is to be any hope for your marriage, this is a challenge that must absolutely be taken seriously. Counselors and ministers who deal with broken couples on a regular basis will tell you that this is the most complex problem of all, a rupture that is often the last to be repaired. It cannot just be considered and contemplated but must be deliberately put into practice. Forgiveness has to happen, or a successful marriage won’t.
…..
How do you know you’ve done it? You know it when the thought of their name or the sight of their face – rather than causing your blood to boil – causes you to feel sorry for them instead, to pity them, to genuinely hope they get this turned around.
There’s so much more that could be said and so many emotional issues you may need to fight through to get there. But great marriages are not created by people who never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep “no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5).”
The thought of their name causes your blood to boil.
You know the reaction. There are people that when you think of them you get physical symptoms. Stomach churn. Tense muscles. Furrowed brow. You just want to scream sometimes.
Don’t let that emotion control your life. It’s such wasted energy and takes away precious moments of your life. You are in prison to them by letting those reactions overcome you. This is what today’s Love Dare is all about.
From Pinterest
From Pinterest
From Pinterest
“Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing. (Luke 23:34)”
Today’s Dare
Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to “forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our debtors” each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.”
How are you doing? Has it been easy? Struggling?
Big question for the fire wives…..a little off the marriage topic but on forgiveness. Your husbands may have run on some murders in their careers. Have you ever thought of how you would forgive someone if they killed or hurt your loved one? It’s not fun to think about but an exercise that helps check our hearts.
(note: this might be a very private topic for you. If so, you can always reach me at contact#!&@firefighterwife.com.
Firefighter Wife
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I’ve been following along with the love dare, but we already do so much from the book due to a pre-marriage course we went through before marrying. We’re almost 4 years in and it still stands out, so I am so glad we too it. It was Bible based and right across the street from the church the writers of the Love Dare/Fireproof attend! We both had bad previous relationships, I think that helps us tremendously. BUT, the forgiving one is tough. Part of the course was on forgiving, ASKING for forgiveness specifically and granting forgiveness as well. My husband does ask, Will you forgive me?, and just the acknowledgement that he was slightly wrong makes it so easy to forgive.
As far as have I thought about him dying or being hurt because of someone else… I have wondered what I would feel and act if he were killed in the line of duty. Especially if it were due to something that was preventable, like someone didn’t pull their load or something like making a stupid call/mistake. All I can feel is sorrow. I think I could forgive because I know that someone else would feel the guilt, even if it was something that couldn’t have been stopped. That would be shared. If someone flat out murdered him, I’m afraid it would take some deep soul searching for me not to hate.
Jessica my husband and I have talked about just that. What if it was a safety issue that caused his line of duty death? What should I do? I’m trying to not waste thought cycles on that but just have an idea in my mind and pray for the right answer at the moment.
And yes…..when they just acknowledge “will you forgive me?” it’s SO helpful. We went many years wounding each other before figuring that out. Stubborness 🙂
so cool that you live right by that church! I can imagine they have some really good programs.
I try not to think about him dying, but it’s part of what we go through. If he were murdered or something like that, it would be very hard to forgive. If he were killed responding to an accident scene or in a fire, it would be a lot easier to forgive because there likely wasn’t any malice behind what happened.
Do you ever see those mothers and grandmothers on the news standing in a court room and praying for the criminal who killed their child? What strength and courage. I always think “if I ever have to do that, I hope I can have a heart like hers.”