(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: https://firefighterwife.com/fireproof-your-marriage/)
Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You. – Psalm 25:20
Excerpt from The Love Dare Book:
“If a wife expects her husband to always be on time, clean up after himself, and understand all her needs, she will likely live most her married life in constant disappointment. But if she gets realistic and understands that he’s human, forgetful, and sometimes thoughtless, then she will be more delighted when he is responsible, loving, and kind.
Divorce is nearly inevitable when people refuse to allow their spouses to be human. So there needs to be a transition in your thinking. You must choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations. The way your spouse has been for the last ten years is likely what he or she will be in the future apart from your loving encouragement and an intervention from God. Love puts the focus on personal responsibility and improving yourself rather than on demanding more from others.
marriage is a relationship to be enjoyed and savored along the way. It’s a unique friendship designed by God Himself where two people live together in flawed imperfection but deal with it by encouraging each other, not discouragingthem.
Don’t you want married life to be a place where you can enjoy free expression of who you are, growing within a safe environment that encourages you even when you fail? Your spouse does too – and love gives them that privilege. If your wife or husband has told you on more than one occasion that you make them feel beat down and defeated, you need to take these words to heart. Make a commitment to daily let go of unrealistic expectations and become your spouse’s greatest encourager. And the person they’re created by God to be will begin to emerge with new confidence and love for you.”
If your wife or husband has told you on more than one occasion that you make them feel beat down and defeated, you need to take these words to heart.
It’s so not easy to hear criticisms, especially if our spouse is in an especially unlovable place. But we truly must be objective and separate the fact from the emotion. Literally turn on and off parts of our brain and grow in emotional maturity and intelligence so we can respond without causing further damage. Not easy. I get it. Keep praying!
Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.
KLove Radio Station did The Love Dare and has a daily post (with copyright approval from the publisher). You can find it here (especially if your book has not arrived yet!)
How are you doing? Has it been easy? Struggling?
Big question for the fire wives…..also being discussed in our private group, how well do you respond to criticism from your husband? Doing this love dare, we’ve had to practice keeping our mouths shut and not be snippy. How’s it going?
(note: if you have a very private topic to discuss, you can always reach me at contact at firefighterwife dot com)
Is Your Marriage on Fire?
Want to bring the flame back to your marriage? Try Marriage on Fire, a program designed specifically for Firefighter marriages.
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