(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: https://firefighterwife.com/fireproof-your-marriage/)
Love Makes Sacrifices
He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. – 1 John 3:16 HCSB
Excerpt from The Love Dare Book:
“Love makes sacrifices. It keeps you so tuned in to what your spouse needs that you often respond without being asked. And when you don’t notice ahead of time and must be told what’s happening, love responds to the heart of the problem.
Even when your mate’s stress comes out in words of personal accusation, love shows compassion rather than becoming defensive. Love inspires you to say “no” to what you want, in order to say “yes” to what your spouse needs.
Is he feeling “sick” – physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?
Does he feel like a “stranger” – insecure in his work, needing home to be a refuge and sanctuary?“
Does he feel like a “stranger” – insecure in his work, needing home to be a refuge and sanctuary?
We know the fire house is like a second home to our husbands but not a relaxing one. Definitely not his refuge and sanctuary. My husband calls it being like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. You just can’t relax because you don’t know when the tones will drop. If your husband carries a pager and is always on call, his life must always feel this way.
So often I misinterpret my husband’s mood as being angry at me or just being difficult with me. When actually he’s exhausted from interrupted sleep and simply from being “on alert” for the past day at the fire house.
An easy sacrifice for me as a spouse is to just give him a break from home duties when coming off shifts like those. Recently he worked a 48, was home for only 24 knowing he had to go back the next day. He was in a great mood to be home, we got the kids off to school and then he fell asleep on the couch. I let him sleep having this in my mind. But he woke in such a funk and was in a foul mood the rest of the day. I’m pretty sure it was because he wanted to be “home” and had things he wanted to do around his sanctuary…mow the lawn, spend time with his family, the manly things that make him feel like he is taking care of us. Instead the firehouse robbed him of another day even though he was home.
Ladies recognizing this can save so many fights. Just by understanding his perspective of “life is hard” makes it so much easier to sacrifice ourselves for his needs.
“Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)“
What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
KLove Radio Station did The Love Dare and has a daily post (with copyright approval from the publisher). You can find it here (especially if your book has not arrived yet!)
How are you doing? Has it been easy? Struggling?
Big question for the fire wives…..also being discussed in our private group, what are the signs that your firefighter is sick or tired or stressed (as opposed to just being difficult) and what do you sacrifice to help him in those moments?
(note: if you have a very private topic to discuss, you can always reach me at contact at firefighterwife dot com)
Make Your Marriage a Priority in 2016
COMMITMENT Weekends are more than a retreat or conference, they are a getaway weekend to reconnect firefighters and their spouse/partner and reignite those marriage sparks. You will leave with your love tank filled up and more in love than you ever imagined possible!
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