Day 29

(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here:  https://firefighterwife.com/fireproof-your-marriage/)

Love’s Motivation

 Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men.  – Ephesians 6:7 HCSB

Excerpt from The Love Dare Book:

The love that’s demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate’s sweetness or suitability.  The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity.  The fact that it blesses our beloved in the process is simply a wonderful, additional benefit.

This change of focus and perspective is crucial for a Christian. Being able to wake up knowing that God is your source and supply – not just of your own needs but also those of your spouse – changes your whole reason for interacting with your mate.

No longer is it this imperfect person who decides how much love you’ll show, but rather it’s your omni-perfect God who can use even a flawed person like yourself to bestow loving favor on another.

Has your wife become fairly hard to live with lately?  Is her slowness at getting over a disagreement wearing on your patience?  Can she not just give it a rest?  Don’t withhold your love just because she thinks differently from you.  Love her “as to the Lord.” 

Is your husband tuning you out, not saying much, apparently brooding over something he’s not interested in sharing?  Do you feel hurt by his unwillingness to open up?  Are you tired of him being so short with you, not even responding to the children the way he needs to?  Don’t battle back with a double dose of silence and inattention.  Love him anyway.  “As to the Lord.”

Those who are fine with mediocre marriages can leave their love to chance and hope for the best.  But if you are committed to giving your spouse the best.  But if you are committed to giving your spouse the best love you possibly can, you need to shoot for love’s highest motivation.  Love that has god as its primary focus is unlimited in the heights it can attain.”

Is your husband tuning you out, not saying much, apparently brooding over something he’s not interested in sharing? 

If I had a nickel for every time we had this topic in our private firefighter wife group, I’d be a millionaire.

Guys process differently from girls.  We all know this yet we somehow get caught up in these expectations that our hubbies will fulfill our every need.  They can’t.  They’re men.  God made them different.  He made us helpers, partners for each other.  Two that join as one, each bringing their own gifts and talents.

I learned I had to stop setting my husband up for failure to meet my expectations but changing my expectations.  God is my source for all.  My husband will imperfectly play the part of my soul mate because he’s human and by nature imperfect.  I have to say that was a break thru moment in our marriage when I finally let my hubby off the hook for meeting my every need.

From Pinterest

From Pinterest

Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)

Today’s Dare

Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs.  Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to them in some tangible way.  Go to God in prayers again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person – unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.

KLove Radio Station did The Love Dare and has a daily post (with copyright approval from the publisher).  You can find it here (especially if your book has not arrived yet!)

How are you doing?  Has it been easy?  Struggling?

Big question for the fire wives…..also being discussed in our private group,  Do you feel like you have a “mediocre marriage”?  That phrase made me a cringe a little because it’s not what I want.  How did you react to it?

(note:  if you have a very private topic to discuss, you can always reach me at contact at firefighterwife dot com)

 

Continue to Day 30

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Join a Fire Community

Please share your thoughts, challenges, successes and encouragement for everyone participating in The Love Dare in any of our available communities: The FirefighterWife and our 24-7 Commitment Fire Family Life Pages on Facebook, or in our Private Online Communities, The Fire Wife Sisterhood for women and the 24-7 Commitment Honor Guard for men. Support is invaluable!

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On a mission to be and inspire us all to be better humans, to strengthen fire families & marriages, to nurture and encourage fire wives, do "good business" in all areas of my life and of course, love on my 4 kids.