(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife)
Love Meets Sexual Needs
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:3
Excerpt from The Love Dare Book:
“You are the one person called and designated by God to meet your spouse’s sexual needs. If you allow distance to grow between you in this area, if you allow staleness to set in, you are taking something that rightly (and exclusively) belongs to your spouse. If you let your mate know – by words, actions, or inactions – that sex needn’t be any more than you want it to be, you rob from them a sense of honor and endearment that has been set in place by biblical mandate. You violate the “one flesh” unity of marriage.
So whether you perceive yourself as being on the deprived end, or you would admit that you are the one depriving the other, know that God’s plan for you is to meet in the middle and come to a place of agreement. But also know that the path to getting there will not be accomplished by sulking, arguing or demanding. Love is the only way to reestablish loving union between each other. All the things the Love Dare entails – patience, kindness, selflessness, thoughtfulness, protection, honor, forgiveness – will play a role in renewing your sexual intimacy. When the love of Christ is the foundation of your marriage, the strength of your friendship and sexual relationship can be enjoyed at a level this world can never know.”
If you allow distance to grow between you in this area, if you allow staleness to set in, you are taking something that rightly (and exclusively) belongs to your spouse.
So my husband is gone about 9 nights a month as a firefighter. I may travel 1 or 2 myself. And throw in 3 or 4 for “that time” and a couple of nights the kids are up late or having a bad dream. It can be easy to see how you can hit a dry spell.
I know you all want me to write something juicy here about our sex life 🙂 Somehow that seems to be counter to the point of this dare. i.e. keeping your intimacy for your spouse. We’ll just say that we are very happily satisfied with each other, have not always been that way, and worked together to get it back. Pretty much like everything else in our marriage. Except the working on it part is much more enjoyable!
How beautiful and delightful you are, my love. (Song of Solomon 7:6)
If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.
How are you doing? Has it been easy? Struggling?
Big question for the fire wives…..also being discussed in our private group, Some of you are lucky enough to have “afternoon delights” due to your husband’s firefighter schedule. What do you think? Does that atypical pattern spice things up quite a bit?
(note: this might be a very private topic for you. If so, you can always reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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