(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife)
Love is Accountable
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.
Excerpt from The Love Dare Book:
“A couple that faces problems alone is more likely to fall apart during rough times. However, the ones who interlock their lives in a network of other strong marriages radically increase their chances of surviving the fiercest of storms. It is crucial that a husband and wife pursue godly advice, healthy friendships, and experienced mentors.
Everyone needs wise counsel throughout life. Wise people constantly seek it and gladly receive it. Fools never ask for it and then ignore it when it’s given to them.
As the Bible so clearly explains, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel” (Proverbs 12:15).
Good marriage mentors warn you before you make a bad decision. They encourage you when you are ready to give up. And they cheer you on as you reach new levels of intimacy in your marriage.
If this doesn’t sound too important to you, it would be a good idea to ask yourself why. Do you have something to hide? Are you afraid you will be embarrassed? Do you think your marriage is exempt from needing outside help? Does diving into a river of positive influence not appeal to you? Don’t be the captain of another Titanic divorce by ignoring the warning signs around you when you could have been helped.”
If this doesn’t sound too important to you, it would be a good idea to ask yourself why. Do you have something to hide?
I think everyone in the world should have their own personal counselor. It’s just so difficult to see clearly what’s going on in our heads and our hearts that a wise, impartial 3rd party is key to getting there (more quickly!).
But men especially can be the first to say NO WAY. I’m not seeing a counselor. And that has even been true of my husband at times in our marriage. So I went myself. And guess what? It still helped my marriage. There would be times he would grow more receptive to working through an issue and I could share (gently) what the counselor had shared with me. Not to mention that anytime you are able to grow as a person, every relationship around you will blossom.
If you have a great friend who is a great listener and counselor, consider yourself so blessed. In this busy life with so many transient lifestyles, it can be difficult to make “refrigerator friends”. People who are so close to you can walk into your house and help themselves to the fridge. These are the people who see what’s really going on in your life and are able to speak clear and direct. People who have a stake in the game because they don’t want to see you hurt.
Counselors or refrigerator friends. Gotta have ’em.
In an abundance of counselors, there is victory. (Proverbs 11:14)
Find a marriage mentor – someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.
How are you doing? Has it been easy? Struggling?
Big question for the fire wives…..also being discussed in our private group, Is your marriage mentor inside or outside the fire service? Do you think a marriage mentor outside the fire service will “get” your lifestyle?
(note: this might be a very private topic for you. If so, you can always reach me at email@example.com.
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