Want to know the secret to being a Firefighter Wife? Be Fire Wife Strong.

by | Especially For The Fire Wife, Fire Wife Academy

We don’t walk into the Fire Wife Life equipped with everything we need to effortlessly transition into the fire life.  Some of you do manage pretty well, but some of us do not make the transition so easily.  Whether it’s a newlywed who had no idea what the fire life was really going to be like, or the wife married 10 years before her husband decided one day he really wanted to be a fireman.  Whew.  Some of you have a rough go of it, and that is OK!  We’re here to help with our best advice and tips on how to become #firewifestrong.  We spend a LOT of time talking among ourselves about our husbands and marriages. But this isn’t a husband bashing session. And the truth bomb is this:

The most important person you can change is yourself.

Fire Wife Strong isn’t about being all gaga over those brave, heroic, sexy hunks of firefighters we are married to. Yes, they do tough jobs and place themselves in harm’s way every shift but being married to a firefighter is so much more than that.  And it’s DEFINITELY not about letting them run rough shod over our lives.  Fire Strong is for him but it’s also for you, who is touched by the fire.

Fire Wife Strong means…You’ve been tested by fire and are stronger because of it.

Fires in your marriage. With parenting. Health issues. Job loss. Death of a loved one. All the tough stuff. You’ve survived and you’ve done a lot of it on your own while he is off serving the community.

Fire Wife Strong means….you understand the challenges of the fire service but you accept it and embrace it.

Missed holidays. Unexpected overtime. Sleepless nights resulting in irritable firefighters at home. Discussions of scenes no human should ever have to witness.

Fire Wife Strong means…..death is very real to you.

You have frequent discussions about how quickly our lives can be taken away. You’ve imagined life as a widow. So all your piddly first world problems….yeah, you don’t sit around whining and complaining about those.

Fire Wife Strong means……you can bend and not break. With grace.

Unplanned overtime. Dinner time page outs. Weekend trainings. The need to drop everything and discuss a terrible call the moment he walks in the door. Fire Wife Strong means you are flexible and bend but you don’t break. You hug him. You smile. You say you understand. And although it’s frustrating, in your heart you know it’s right.

Fire Wife Strong means……you still have some weak areas but you’re working like mad to make yourself stronger everyday.

Physically strong. Fit and healthy and able to take on life and the house chores as a single mom when he’s gone

Emotionally strong. Girls cry. Sob even. It’s ok! But we know WHY we cry and it only makes us stronger. Don’t cry without hope.

Mentally strong. No weapon formed against you shall stand. Fear. Worry. Guilt. Shame. Take captive every thought. Don’t whirlwind into hopelessness.

Spiritually strong. Anyone who spends this much time in the face of life or death (or discussing it intensely with someone who does, like your firefighter) has thought about life after death and knows their beliefs. When life is crazy all about you, a spiritual foundation is what you cling to for strength.

Fire Wife Strong means…..not everyone can relate to your life.

But it’s ok. Because you are strong and blessed with this special gift. (and you have a community of fire wife strong women to turn to on the FirefighterWife.com Facebook Page.)

Fire Wife Strong means…..you.

You are a strong, capable woman who holds down the fort (and likely a career too!) for more than just an 8 hour office day, while your husband runs off to save the world.



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On a mission to be and inspire us all to be better humans, to strengthen fire families & marriages, to nurture and encourage fire wives, do "good business" in all areas of my life and of course, love on my 4 kids.

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  1. Deb

    I think everything that I just read is right on the money. I am the girlfriend of a Firefighter who has been at his job for 11 years & he is also an Officer who loves it! My experience growing up in a Military family makes me relate to all that comes with his job & the life of a Firefighter. I also am older and have been around the block & experienced enough things in my life to understand alot better than some of the younger wives & girlfriends. I most definitely will be on here for advice & helping others.

    Thank you for having this website

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.

  2. Tiffany Brynteson

    I have married to a firefighter for 12 years and with him for 17 years. Not only is he a firefighter but he was also in the Air Force reserve for 20+ years up until last year when he retired from the service. it is a difficult job being a firefighter’s wife but all of the words above ring true. You have to be flexible and understanding. You will most likely manage the household and children more than you thought you would but you have to keep in mind that he is out there sacrificing his life to save someone else every time he is at his job. I love this website and will come back often and give feedback as much as I can with what I have experienced. Thank you to all of the firefighter wives out there for being strong for your firefighter but also for you children!

  3. Chloe

    Hi, I recently got married to a firefighter. He works on call as a second job (which he loves! It’s his dream to be a permanent firie). We are based in Australia and I was wondering if you know of some support over here?
    I’m getting used to sleepless nights trying not to worry, call outs during the night, interrupted dinners, the uncertainty. I want to look after myself so I can support him. But I think I will need help too.


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