diary heather 5

Real Life of a Fire Wife – Day 5 – Mexican Stand-off

My goals for today:

– Kick this tiny bit of a hangover in the arse
– Figure out some way to get these kids back into a mode of being respectful and following directions
– Hold down the fort while my husband takes the middle bonus son to little league

7:00AM – Oh dear

How much wine did I drink during my Girls Night In??? Oh dear…my head hurts. Time to rummage through the medicine cabinet and find some BC Powder. That stuff is like magic. I chug it with some coconut water to rehydrate and I’m good to go.

7:45AM – He’s home

I hear the door open and although he may have had a rough night, I can tell he’s happy to see me. That is such a nice feeling…and I cherish the fact that he can come home to a happy place so I do whatever I can to smile, look pretty and give him some attention.

8:00AM – Parent/Teacher Conference

Jackson, my youngest, has been quite the pistol lately. Talking back, being disrespectful, and saying mean (but hilarious) things to try and hurt whoever he’s talking to. The meeting starts off great…his teachers are talking about how smart he is and how he is so sweet. And then…we talk about his recent behaviors. Apparently, while he was in a fit of rage, he told his teachers, “I’m gonna have my dad come up here, pick up the school and throw it at the sun.” What??? Seriously, what does that even mean? His teacher said she had to turn her head so he wouldn’t see her laughing.

Long story short, he is 4…and the youngest of 9 kids between his two houses. Not only have I blended my kids with my husband’s, but when he’s at his dad’s house, he is the only boy with 3 other girls. Poor guy feels lost in the shuffle and doesn’t know how to get attention the right way. So, when he gets bored…he gets silly and when he’s corrected…he gets mad. When he gets mad…he says mean things (that are secretly funny)…when you tell him how hurt you are…he starts to cry. My boy is an emotional creature…and when things don’t go the way he’s planned in his tiny little brain, he gets upset…and freaks out…and gets emotional. Sounds just.like.me.

While we were in there, we get a text from the boys’ mom…Eric hurt his knee…bad enough that he’s crawling on the floor instead of walking. Someone needs to take him to the doctor…and it’s likely going to be my fireman…despite the fact that he has a handy man job he can’t put off because the renters move in tomorrow. Oh…but wait, when Eric hears he can’t go on his field trip because his knee is hurt, he is miraculously healed…thank you Jesus!!

9:00AM – Sneaking in again

Finally, I’ve made it to work and am able to sneak in without any questions. I’ve been pretty lucky lately…that, or I FINALLY have a boss that is understanding of my blended fire family. Most of the time, I can make it in when I’m supposed to, but there are some days, where I have to wait until my fireman gets off shift…and you never know when that last call of the shift will come in. I’ve even had to take my kids to work with me until he can come and get them because they got toned out for a fire at 6:45AM…right.before.shift.change.

2:00PM – Last meeting of the day

I’ve learned that, for my crazy life, scheduling meetings at the end of the day means I’ll get home early enough to make a difference. So off I go to Altamonte Springs, which is a full 45 minutes away from my office. Oh and I’ve timed it so that there is no way I can get back to the office in time to accomplish anything of real meaning, so I will just head home.

3:30PM – Surprise…I’m home

When you walk through the door and are greeted by your shocked fireman, you sometimes wonder what he was up to. Kidding…I trust him with all my heart. I am home an hour earlier than usual, so I can see why he was caught off guard. He gives me a sweet kiss and tells me that he’s so happy I’m home. Not sure how to take that one…were the kids driving him crazy? Did he want some action? It doesn’t matter, I’m home and I’m with him…that’s all I care about.

4:00PM – Not together for long

Thursdays are hard…seriously…because the middle bonus son is picked up at 3PM, the oldest at 4PM and the youngest at 4:30PM after his tutoring. Some days, I wonder how the heck my husband does it.

4:25PM – First time all day

My husband sat down next to me and says, “This is the first time I’ve sat down all day.” Instead of saying anything about how tired I am and the fact that I’ve been at work all day earning a living (just a hint of resentment there..Satan…get out of my head), I offer to go pick up the youngest bonus son so he can rest.

5:30PM – Off he goes

With 3 out of 4 boys playing little league this season, we’ve had to adjust our routine quite a bit. Dinner is in the oven, thanks honey. But he is headed out the door…so I feed his two boys that aren’t practicing tonight and watch tv until he gets home.

6:20PM – Mexican stand-off

The 8 year old bonus son just got out of the shower, but he’s standing in the living room in his towel. I ask what’s up and he says, “It’s dark…I’m afraid.” This has got to stop. For the past 2.5 years, he’s been perfectly courageous to wake up at 5AM and walk through a completely dark house to get the iPad and play, but yet refuses to walk into his dark bedroom. So, I told him I’m not turning it on for him…he can sit in the living room in his towel until he gets brave enough to turn on the light.

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In the meantime, I send this picture to my fireman and explain what’s going on…

And…papa bear comes out…that’s his MO…just give in. It’s honestly the most frustrating part of our relationship. I believe that discipline and boundaries will make the kids happier and more productive in the end…he tends to cave and not want to be the “bad” guy. That’s part of divorce…and part of blending families…and it’s all in how you handle it that makes the difference.

In case you were wondering, I told the 8 year old to ask his 14 year old brother to help him out…I sure as heck wasn’t going to get up and do it.

7:15PM – Finally…dinner

Hubby just got home from baseball practice…and I chose to to wait for him to eat…because it’s one of the few minutes I can catch him sitting still. Even if he is eating like the tones could go off. Do your guys do that?? Eat dinner at home like they’re at the fire house…as fast as possible because you never know when the tones will go off? Every…night…

7:25PM – Really?

My fireman just walked out the door. He’s taking the middle son, who’s knee is completely fine and he even ran during baseball practice, to his ex’s house because she insists on taking him to the doctor in the morning. Really? I’m just slightly annoyed…not at him, but at her. She’s totally feeding into Eric’s attention seeking behavior. He ALWAYS has a new injury or ailment or whatever…and now my husband is gone…again. So much for family time. Oh…and they left this for me to clean up…thanks guys!

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9:30PM – Early bedtime

I’m gonna call it a night because I have to work tomorrow. Oh, and because for the next 2.5 days my husband and I have no kids. We’ll be “busy” if you know what I mean.

10:30PM – I “was” tired

I had all intentions of going to bed at 9:30PM.  But, when I walked into the bathroom and saw my hot husband brushing his teeth in jeans and no shirt, I couldn’t resist.  Best way to get his attention, slip into bed nekkid!!!

So for real now, I’m going to bed.

2:30AM – He needs some comfort

Before we fell asleep last night, my husband told me he’d had a rough night on shift…5 calls after bed time resulting in no sleep.  I didn’t ask what the calls were, but I know that if my husband is dispatched for a medical call, it usually isn’t very good.  As EMS Captain, he doesn’t go on every call…just the really serious ones.  He knows that if he wants to talk about them, I am there to listen…but I don’t ask anymore…I am his soft place…his safety zone.  That being said, they must have been something because he just rolled over so he could hold my hand while we sleep…he needs some comfort…and I am honored to be that for him.

Hopefully, you’ve enjoyed the insanity of my family @BlendedwithFire. We have more challenges than nuclear fire families, but I wouldn’t want to face those challenges with anyone else. I LOVE my husband…he is perfectly imperfect for me. And I LOVE our crazy blended life.

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Jessie -

A small town girl from Southwest Georgia who happens to value your marriage as much as she does her own. She is married to a firefighter who was a volunteer for several years, then transitioned into a career fireman the same month they married in 2008, and he is now a Captain at his full-time Department. They have two daughters, have been in the FFW family since 2012 and know marriage takes a lot of work, even when it's in the best seasons.