1. Speak kind, not out of exhaustion
2. Possibly venture to the grocery store
3. Work from home, getting my lessons together.
4. Clean, which will require more bleach, better make sure I hit the grocery store… #2 is tied with #1.
3:30 a.m. I have covers draped over my face and Gus’s whining (my German Shepherd in his kennel) is echoing in my ears. He’s still sick, I wonder if the vet should be called? I wonder what he ate? I wonder why I talk to myself so much about problems I don’t know the answer too. HA! Probably more cow manure in the pasture. I have no idea the attraction he has with it. Rather disgusting if ya ask me. Crawling out of bed taking the top blanket with me I get him escorted to the back door and hear midget in his room. More puking. Should I just turn on the coffee pot now? Probably….
5:00 a.m. Settled back in my bed, Chief is ~~SO warm~~… Drift off to sleep, counting his breaths, I’m a blessed woman….
6:30 a.m. Alarm is singing to me, what a beautiful song, brings a smile, digging deep to find my drive and wiping the fresh drool off my face and pillow I face the window, it’s sunny, head to the kitchen, start the coffee pot, again……. Gus is whining. Chief is snoring. Let the day officially begin.
7:30 My daughter, Red, is 16, beautiful, bossy and ready to spread her wings and fly. The only thing holding her back today is me. Her red hair truly compliments her personality. She is feisty, funny and lives with abandon. She has dreams to be a photographer for National Geographic, so wherever she goes her camera is packed and her running shoes are in the back seat. Along with this comes my need to super glue her feet to the kitchen floor sometimes and see just where she’s headed. “Get some breakfast this morning?” Red: “Yup and washed my pan. I won’t be home tonight until late!!” Today she *let’s me know* that she’s off to do a photo shoot with her best friend in our old downtown area…… High drug traffic, train tracks and low lighting leave me shouting “Absolutely not” as she runs out the door….. I guess I’ll be holding spotlights and mace tonight after dinner. Who am I to hold her back when she is comfortably placed in The Masters Hands.
8:00 Kiss my Chief on his way out and settle into the couch with Midget. Why do I feel bitterness to someone who risks his life for so many strangers. Just three short hours ago I was snuggled in bed with *rainbows & butterflies* dancing through my head. I guess three nights of no sleep, cleaning body fluid & dog fluid while he snores through it all has built up to this. I’m called to do this job right? He’s called to do his? Where does this ugliness come from? Even to jot these words down make my stomach churn. It’s easy for these nasty thoughts to cross my mind, and as much as I try to master what floats through my brain sometimes I mix my emotion with it and away we go down a spiraling path of …. not a good outcome. I have to put my phone down, don’t push send, delete that text, resist the urge to snap at him, if I want help I *should have* asked for it. I *could have* woke him up and said “Please take a turn, I’m so tired” … choices. Right now, I’m choosing to leave Midget sleeping on the couch and hit the treadmill. I have got to clear this brain out and a good sweat will do that.
11:30am Midgets up and asking for oatmeal…. ummm. I think the answer is “Do I want to clean that up after it resurfaces?” LOL!! One pack of instant organic and some emergen-C down with it….
12:00 It’s still down. He wants more. Thank ~YOU~….. for showing up.
2:20pm I have to get to the grocery store. All soup, noodles and bread have been regurgitated and flushed. HA! Hopefully Midget can handle a short trip to the grocery store.
3:30pm This is what I come home too….. Bahahahahahahaa
I just love his heart to help me. All the exhaustion and mental battles from this morning have flown south in my mind. 🙂 He could see how tired I was so he left work early and came home to help clean the house. When he saw how much dog hair was everywhere he took the vacuum to the dog! Truly, he rescued me today. House is clean! <3
5:00pm Dinner is delivered?!?!?
I have this amazing best friend. I completely think God designed her specifically for me. She always has the right words, shows up at the right times and knows exactly what my heart is screaming when I haven’t even whispered for help.
It’s supposed to be taco Tuesday, however, homemade Chicken noodle soup is going to be perfect in midget’s tummy and has overfilled my heart with love. I truly don’t know what I’ve done without her my entire life! The only label she cares about is the one across my heart that says “Child of God”. In her eyes, I’m not the Chief’s wife, I’m not the frustrated/exhausted mom or even the Children’s ministry director at my church (my full-time paid job), I’m just ME. And I tell you what, we know how to LAUGH!
8:30pm All is calm. The glow of the T.V. on in the living room…. The sound of Olympians winning medals… Midget giggling at men in tights ice skating… “I don’t care how much you like to ice skate, I would never wear those tights. Why can’t they wear baggy pants? He’s touching her in places he shouldn’t.” Bahahahahaa… sipping tea, constructing my puzzle. Thank YOU for showing up. What a beautiful life we live… serving, loving, helping….. embrace each moment.
10 pm Trying to read a little, lesson plans arranged, too tired. Will add it to my *to do’s* for my *tomorrows*…. Lights out.
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