Diaries of Real Fire Wives – Day 4 – Jessie

by | Especially For The Fire Wife, Everyday, Real Fire Wife Diaries

jessie 4

Today I need to catch up on getting Birthday party stuff ready, for real this time.  I didn’t get all of it done yesterday.  I have housework to do because the one person who helps, isn’t very good at it.  The husband has a dr apt today, I don’t need to go with him, he is good about telling the doctor anything he needs to but I may go anyway.   At the top of the list is go to the post office and mail some special letters.  Laundry.  Party supply organization and goody bag assembly.  The #1 thing is don’t stress!

6:30am and I’m waking the big kid up for school.  Other than getting up out of the warm bed, this is the easiest part of my day because this is the ONE thing my big kid does without me having to say it more than once.  Odd huh?  Let me ask her to take the trash out or load a dishwasher and she freaks.  Go figure.


7:08am and the bus is here.  I have coffee (DUH) and I am catching up from overnight going ons on Facebook.  Some work.  Some play.  Some eye rolling.  Yep.  I feel ill already today.  Please coffee, let your powers be of the good today.  Social media gives some people outlets that only add fuel to their own fire and they’ll never see that for themselves.  Did I mention I am ill??

8am and the little is up.  My alone time was so short lived, all I really want is some quite time to myself without someone relying on me for something.  Asking too much to want that today.  I know I’ll miss this one day but right now I’m just really in need to time to be alone!  She comes into the living room and stands at the end of the couch staring at me.  Same thing every morning.  I ignore her and she makes a little noise and I pretend to be startled and say I didn’t know you were wake!  Then the morning starving slap to death as soon as I am up I want breakfast now but I’m going to refuse everything you offer until you’re annoyed with me and then I’ll pick something you already mentioned begins.  5/7 mornings start like this.

9 am and the husband is still in bed.  I’m slightly annoyed because the little one has already had breakfast, a banana and milk, and is whining already about being hungry again.  I’m trying to work because tomorrow and Saturday are going to by busy busy with party prep.  I don’t get to sleep in.  I don’t get an off day.  I don’t get a free pass to be annoyed about it either.  I must resist the urges to be snippy today because I know they’re building up already.

9:26am and it has risen.  Did he really ask me did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed?  I will break his face.  I mean that in the most loving way possible but dude, YES I AM ILL.  The house is a wreck but it feels like this every day!  I need to get this laundry DONE!


9:38am the little one is digging in the birthday stuff, again.  Eh.  Insert a tantrum here.  Send to room until over tantrum.  Tantrum doesn’t last long in room.  She’s learned the routine for tantrums.  Cry in your room, when you’re done you may come out!  She is just so excited for her Spongebob Party.

9:43am the little comes out of her room and is saying something I don’t understand.  Then she wants to “Tell you a secret” which means saying the same thing I can’t understand while blowing hot air in my ear.  So I lean over and guess what?  She wants a Popsicle!  Today is dragging and I will try hard not to eat her today.  Man.  This mood is yuck.  Guess who gets a Popsicle?  Sometimes it’s just like that, you just give in to save a little time and tears.

10am break time.  I need a break.  Really?  It’s ONLY 10am?!  I suppose sitting on the couch watching whatever the mister is watching is what I’ll do.  Bless his heart, he ALWAYS wants me to come sit down and watch tv with him.  It’s sweet really, he might even hold my hand.

12pm   LUNCH TIME.  Somedays a good PB&J is all you need, and today it’s all you gonna get!  Party goody bags are complete shortly after, woot!  Everything is together and it’s ready to be loaded up!


1pm We’re leaving for the dr appointment.  I drop him off and head to the post office.  We waste time by sitting in the Dollar Tree Parking lot in a secluded area so I can watch my surrounding.  I just don’t trust people.  I realized why I’ve been ill all day, a migraine is trying to sneak in.  What was a nagging dull headache is turning into nausea and stabbing pain.  I think I can still catch it in time.  At least I can put these letters in the mail!


2:35pm He is calling me to pick him up.  His appt was at 2pm and he is done already?!  Had I gone with him and sat in the waiting room with the little we’d of been there for 2 hours.  Oh well, I’m glad because I am ready to be home.

Home?  No.  Pharmacy.  With the word pharmacy comes thoughts of side effects that really sucks and right now side effects are just a part of our lives.  I think I’ll just shove those feelings and thoughts back into the dark hole they came out of.  Not interested in hashing through those today.  It also comes with waiting.  With the little.  In the truck.  For 30 minutes.  Really?!   I’m trying to muster the ability to not be THAT wife because it isn’t his fault, I know that.  I think I’m doing pretty good considering.  I tried texting him before he came out to bring me a coke and some OTC Migraine medication.  Of course he doesn’t see it until he comes out but he is a good husband, despite my foul mood today, he goes back in for me.  We’re done and lets head home!

3:40somethingpm We get home at the same time as the big kid.  Oh the big kid.  Please let the big kid not be on some dramatic rant today.  Middle school is a beast.  Kids are little (use your favorite derogatory word that probably isn’t appropriate to call teens here) sometimes.  Man, I do not miss it and I hate reliving it and await the day a little maturity enters these awkward children.

4pm I’m getting ready to cook.  Yes, 4pm and cooking.   My biggest pet peeve about cooking?  People in my kitchen!  G E T  O U T !!!   I prefer to cook alone because I don’t have a lot of cooking area and reaching around people to telling kids to back away from the hot….. not my most favorite part of cooking.  Homemade steak pot pie in on the menu.  I just eye ball everything and don’t really have a recipe.  The meds have kicked in and so has my need to put some cuteness with the crust.  All I have to choose from is Christmas cookie cutters.  The star is the best option !  I pop it in the oven and we wait!


8pm We’ve devoured most of the supper, that turned out great by the way, and watched a movie together.  It’s time for the little to hit the bedtime routine and we can all head to our rooms for tv and rest.

My husband works two departments so home two days in a row is a treat.  I hate I am so far behind on all the party stuff and not feeling good.  Stressing was not on the list and I’ve done it anyway.  Laying my face up against his back is my favorite place to be.  I can feel his warm skin.  Smell his deodorant, which I love.  Feel safe.  I miss him.  We need down time.  We need a date, they are just too far and few between.  I turn away to go to sleep and as always, we say I love you three or four times while waiting for the sandman to come.


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Jessie -

Just a small town girl married to a firefighter since 2008, but she's so much more than a Fire Wife. She's been a member of the FirefighterWife family since 2012 and knows marriage takes a lot of work, even when it's in the best seasons.


  1. CakeGirl

    I love this. You are an awesome mom. And now i want steak pie!

  2. Teresa Mitchell

    Any advice for a 9 year veteran Firewife whom recently found herself with two young girls ,and forever without her Firefighter due to Andeacarsomina. Now I feel that I am losing everything.

    • Jessie

      So sorry to hear that, Teresa. That’s so tough. Since I do not personally have experience with this, my suggestion is to seek out support and take support anywhere you can and feel comfortable. Search out support groups, either specific to widows, fire widows and/or that specific type of cancer on Google and on Facebook if you use it. We always suggest individual counseling if at all possible – it’s something we use ourselves and we know that grief is processed differently by everyone… sometimes we just need someone to help us piece these things together. Please accept our condolences, prayers and best wishes for you and your girls.


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