The Key to Happy Marriages in Burnt French Toast

by | Everyday

12 years ago today my husband and I said we do.  Forever.  No deal breakers.  It’s not been pretty nor easy but the rewards have been worth it all.

We were both previously divorced.  I had a 2 year old son.  But we knew within the first week we would be together forever.  We planned a wedding in the fall but ended up pregnant and moved it up to July.  It happens. Not the path we recommend by the way….marrying a man who went from zero children to family of four instantly was not an easy adjustment.

Today, in honor of our anniversary, my youngest daughter and I made french toast brunch for the family.  Like usual, I burnt a few pieces.  The kids took all the non-burnt ones leaving Dad with this.  We laughed.  I am so grateful he loves me for who I am and not who some cultural standard thinks I should be.  I don’t cook well.  I totally missed the awesome family cooking gene.  I do not have the attention span needed in the kitchen.  And for the record, I was not on my phone.  I was tending to the bacon!

2014-07-27 12.34.11

I fretted over wanting to write something insightful and wise on marriage.  Running a big blog like that brings that ridiculous anxiety sometimes.  But the right thing happened.  You get me.  And my burnt french toast.  That has many lessons.

Love yourself for who you are.

Love your spouse for who they are.

Try.  Really try, to do the things they love.

Laugh when it all turns out wrong.

Nothing is a deal breaker.  Nothing.  When you commit to forever, nothing is a deal breaker.

When you are in a pit, and we’ve been there this year.  Deep in a pit of not being happy with each other at points.  Yes.  Dan and Lori.  “The” happily married firefighter and wife.  Use it as an opportunity to grow.  The make up sex is second by far to the strong foundation and growth you add to your relationship.

And this stays short today.  Because your first commitment is always to God and your marriage and family.  And that’s who needs me today.

PS – Two years ago on our 10th anniversary I wrote a blog post titled “A True Love Story:  The Raw, Ugly, Revealing Truth”.   I still get emails from people pouring their hearts out over that series.  It’s what compels us to keep doing what we are doing here to strengthen marriages.   You can read it here.

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On a mission to be and inspire us all to be better humans, to strengthen fire families & marriages, to nurture and encourage fire wives, do "good business" in all areas of my life and of course, love on my 4 kids.

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