5 Easy Deep Tissue Massage Tips for Bulky Men
Around six years ago, a fireman walked into one of our live massage seminars with his wife. He wasn’t happy about being there and he was letting us know about it.
“I’m missing the football for this,” he told my husband Den, the instructor.
He was a huge, bulky guy with arms like tree trunks. No kidding. But, as Den pointed out to him, they were perfect hands for massage.
It didn’t take like before this big, beefy guy was purring like a kitten as his petite wife massaged his shoulders. That’s the thing about big muscles, they love to be rubbed!
Our fire fighter was so impressed with what we taught he came up and hugged us both after the course. He became a huge fan, telling us he was going to tell everyone back at the fire house that they simply had to come and do the massage course.
As a 120-pounder wife married to a bulky guy myself, I know the barriers you might have in your head when it comes to massaging your husband. But rest assured, with the right know-how, you can hit all the right spots with good, deep pressure and provide a therapeutic massage that will help him forget all about the hard shift he’s just had.
And when your man massages you back with those huge, capable hands… Oh my, it will all be worth it!
1. Start with the basics
Everyone always wants to rush right to the deep tissue stuff in massage. But getting right into that without covering the basics first is like building a house with no foundations.
Start any massage with long, flowing strokes. This helps to set the mood, and your partner will start to relax and to trust you as you rhythmically massage away the surface tension. The more relaxed your partner is, the easier it will be for you to get to their sore spots.
That’s why you want to spend a good few minutes laying this groundwork. It will make your job easy later.
2. We all hurt in the same spots
Massage isn’t rocket science. Everyone gets sore in the same spots. And those trigger points? They’re tiny. Smaller than your hand, even. Think about where you get sore on your own body: tops of the shoulders, between the shoulder blades, at the back of the neck… that’s exactly where your husband is sore too.
Start by lightly going over the sore areas to get an idea of exactly where they are. Ask your partner if you’re hitting the right spots. You should eventually be able to feel an inconsistency under your fingers – it might feel like a bump, or a bit of gristle in the muscle. Those are the magic areas you want to seek out. Work them for a few seconds, and then switch back to your long, sweeping strokes. You’re just warming him up for now.
3. You need to relax, too
The biggest mental hurdle you need to get over is thinking that you have to use all your power to get in deep on your husband’s shoulders. By tensing up and trying too hard, you’ll only exhaust your own muscles and you won’t last more than a few minutes.
If you’ve taken the time to relax him first, and if you’ve found the sore spots, then 80% of your work is already done. Make sure your shoulders are dropped and you’re not overworking your arms to get the job done. Breathe.
4. Use your body weight, not your strength
I don’t care how big your man’s shoulders are, if you’re using in excess of 120-pound to drive pressure right into his sore spots, he’s going to feel it. And chances are, he’ll love it.
This works best if your partner is seated in a chair, straddling it backwards. Make sure his feet are well in front of his face to ground him on the floor, you’re your feet aren’t forward, his face will go forward!) Stand behind him and adopt a lunge stance, keeping your front bent leg right up close to his body.
This is an easy example to start with: place your palms flat between his shoulder blades, just off the spine.
Keep your arms straight and relaxed, shoulders down.
Apply pressure through to the heel of your palm by leaning into your lunge more.
It should feel like the pressure is coming from the floor through your back leg, travelling right up to your palms. Even though your emphasis is in the heel of your palm, your whole hand needs to stay down. Inch by inch, work your way up through the muscles, listening to him groan the whole time.
You can use this same stance and principle to “walk” down either side of his spine with your hands too, applying pressure with each “footprint” you make with your palm. Lean into each footprint with your weight for a deep, therapeutic effect.
5. Kneading is fantastic
After you’ve warmed up, relaxed him, identified and worked the sore spots and then used your body weight to go in deep, you might want to try some kneading.
Most people, if they haven’t massaged before, go straight for what we call the pinchy-pinchy technique. This only serves to hurt your fingers. Think about kneading dough. You don’t just pinch it with your fingers; you get your full hand in on the action. Close your eyes and picture his shoulders like dough.
When you’re kneading, work one shoulder at a time and go slow. When you go deep, you should always go slowly. Find those store spots on the top of his shoulders and use your whole hand to roll around on that spot.
Again, make sure your own shoulders are relaxed and don’t be afraid to push him around a little bit. The rhythmical rocking will have him humming in pleasure.
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Firefighter Wife
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