We have heard this comment so often in fire wife discussions and no doubt does it bring an undercurrent of distrust and lack of transparency in a marriage.  

Scenarios range from husbands picking random girls on Facebook and starting a “get to know you chat” to old friends who come back into their life to ex’s who want to “keep in touch” to even co-workers, colleagues and friends who start to ‘cross that line’ in private messages.  By the way this applies to all social media platforms and text messaging.  Any place you could have a private one-on-one conversation with a member of the opposite sex.  AND…it goes for you wives as well.

Listen, you all know men and women are going to interact with each other all the time in life.  That’s how it works.  So if you are one of those wives whose skin crawls every time your husband is in contact with another female, you definitely have some significant issues to work on in your marriage.   That’s not where we are going here.

There are healthy boundaries.

In fact, this all boils down to one simple test.  The Coffee Talk Test.

And as long as you are not recently recovering from an infidelity in your marriage, this test should always work.  May this topic open some healthy growth conversations in your marriage!

The Coffee Talk Test
Could sit in a coffee shop and have the same interactions and conversations with that person of opposite sex… with your spouse also at the table? 

That’s simple, right?

If you feel like you want to surround yourself with a community of people who not only get the fire life, but also value marriage, join one of our Online Communities.  There is one for male firefighters in committed relationships, and one for women in a relationship with a firefighter.  Marriage is not required, there are plenty of resources and tools dating couples need to prepare for the best marriage foundation, you can find those too!  Full deatils at: 


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On a mission to be and inspire us all to be better humans, to strengthen fire families & marriages, to nurture and encourage fire wives, do "good business" in all areas of my life and of course, love on my 4 kids.