A special guest post from someone who knows what it’s like to ignore the smoke alarms.
I was suffocating in a room filled with smoke. That’s how the last season of my marriage felt, but it overtook me before I saw it. In hindsight, of course, the signs had been there for some time. Our communication was surface level at best, and our relationship was over. We hadn’t put smoke detectors up in our marriage. We weren’t monitoring our status to make sure we were okay, and suddenly everything went down in flames.
Divorced. It’s a dirty word. Isn’t it?
But life is full of second chances, and as I embark on a new relationship there are markers, smoke detectors, that we are putting up. We are constantly working through our communication, and hurt feelings, or sometimes possible hurt feelings. What alarms do you have set up in your marriage to keep the charm and the passion alive?
Here are a few of our favorite tips from our book, Honor and Commitment.
Commitment
Make a commitment to pour into your marriage. Our theme for Marriage on Fire is, “an intentional focus on the love of my life.” Commit to be intentional as you pursue your spouse and focus on your relationship.As you start this journey, take a minute to find out what your love language is and have your spouse do the same here.
Connection
Remember the beginning? All the giggling and inside jokes? Take some time to reconnect and build on that connection. We have some fun questions from One Extraordinary Marriage to help get you started, just click here.
Confidence
Confidence is one of the sexiest outfits you can put on for spouse. So much of the way we feel about ourselves derives from our health. Take some time to exercise. You will feel better about yourself, and have better sex.
Communicate
Communication is key. How many times have we heard this? And yet, how many times do we expect our spouse to read our mind? Or just know that we are irritated? Communication is key. It’s true, but just knowing this truth can’t make our communication better. We have to continually work on it, and practice it! The times when your spouse is at the station can be hard to feel connected. Have you tried Face Time or Skype?
Community
In this journey we need people around us. We need people who understand our unique challenges and stresses. Journey with your spouse, but journey with a community as well! Find a church, or a group of local fire spouses to share with and encourage! Surround yourself with others who support and value your marriage and family as much as you do.
You’re living the firefighter family life 24-7.
We invite you to join a community that honors, supports, strengthens and encourages you through it all—247. You’ll find a welcoming group of people who are on a mission to make our lives and those around us in the fire service happier and healthier. We’d love to have you with us!
Why Join one of the 24-7 Communities?
- Meet and participate with other fire families who understand the fire life
- Understand your spouse on a deeper level, for a stronger and more rewarding marriage
- Relax into nonjudgmental and drama-free conversations where you’ll find (and give) moral support, advice and encouragement
- Find support around tough topics like anxiety, PTSD, depression, marriage struggles, and more.
- Have a place where you can brag a little about your spouse, and occasionally have a safe, healthy outlet to vent about fire life!
- Finally find encouragement and support from people like you.
- Private online access in separate communities for men and women
- Bonus member only specials, discounts and activities
Join a Community today at 247Commitment.org/join
Jessie -
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