So many fire wives take on more than just the role of wife of a firefighter, which brings its challenges with its blessings. Many of them work full-time in addition to being mothers.The juggling act of a working mom in the fire life pretty much gives them the title of “Superwoman.” Heather, a fire wife and mother, shares her story and tips for how she does it all. We admire your ability to be a working mom in the fire life!

My Work

I am a hard-working, driven woman who is determined to achieve her career dreams. I’ll admit my career has come first in many ways for a long time, but my goals were to achieve my dreams and be able to support me and my future family. My daughter came into my life at the height of a big career change for me, so there has definitely been a period of adjustment.

I’ve had up and down days, I’ve been focused and then extremely unmotivated. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression and on top of all of that (or because of it) marital issues. There were times where I thought it was all too much, but my counselor is amazing and helps me see the light. I now have a new focus on life: Me first, my daughter second, my FF/marriage third. I will go into more details about what that means in the sections to the left. Ask me about anything! I’m an open book!

What Works for Me

I’m a Project Manager, so I plan, predict and organize! I live off of lists and pre-planning to make myself successful. Here are a few tips and tricks that work for me both at home and at work:

At Home:

• I do meal prep every Sunday which involves grocery shopping as a family (when FF is not on shift), prepping and packaging out my breakfast and lunches for the week.
• I plan out and prep my dinners for the entire week so that I don’t have to think last minute when I get home.
• I take advantage of the times my FF is home during the day to at least have him get the laundry started (or put into dryer) so that all I have to do is fold it and put it away. I’m lucky enough he helps with dishes too, but try to get them done after dinner.
• I enlisted a high-school student in my neighborhood to help me out – – I always have too much on my plate, but hate being away from my daughter. I always have things that need to get done around the house, and struggle to get them done when she’s attached at my hip and begging for my attention. Usually twice/month, I have her come over just to play and occupy my daughter while I do things around the house – – so I’m still there if my daughter needs me for something, but she’s keeping her busy and playing with her. I pay her a small fee ($7/hour) and usually only need her for 3-hours because it’s amazing how much faster I can accomplish tasks this way, which leaves the rest of the day to go on adventures with my daughter!

At Work:

• I make (and re-make) lists. I prioritize (and re-prioritize) what is on them. I separate the items into two categories that both get prioritized: Do Now and Do Later.
• I am a master multi-tasker.
• I organize, organize, organize – – and strive to keep my inbox to no more than 20 emails.
• I utilize the “task list” function in Outlook for EVERYTHING.

New Priorities:

• First: ME – I have spent my entire life catering to everyone but me. I’ve been around the public safety life since I was born . . . so in some ways, I’ve had longer to ‘adjust’ to this lifestyle. It’s still hard when we struggle to go to the bathroom alone, and yet the pager goes off and then can drop anything at the drop of a hat and off they go! Not always easy for us. My fix – – I’ve worked hard to rally a regular “girls” night with the other wives on his department. I schedule low-key “catch-up” dinners when he works the overnights (so I don’t take away from family time). We partner to have “gym” time as we both work to being a healthier couple together! BELIEVE YOU CAN!
• Second: MY DAUGHTER – She is always the most important thing in my life, but if I’m not the best “me” I can be, then I cannot be the best “mom” to her, so that is why I put “ME” first.
• Third: My FF/Family – Again, if I’m not the best “me,” than I cannot be the best “wife” and “daughter/sister/etc.” to everyone else. You put focus on yourself – – and everything else gets better (for the most part).