Can you feel it? The bloat of stuffing and the turkey just fading away. The jingling bells of Christmas and the holiday season coming right for you? The holidays are officially here and hollering merrily that it is time to decide what WILL be the perfect gift for everyone!

Whew, just the thought is enough to exhaust me! 

With all the hustle of what to buy all my loved ones, when and where we will be traveling, and how I am possibly going to fit all the family fun in these few short weeks….when my husband is working 30-50% of the time… well, even the most seasoned fire wife gets a little stressed just thinking about it. Last year December went by in the blink of an eye. I felt like I didn’t event get to enjoy the time and looking back, I don’t even remember spending any time with my husband!    

(NOTE:  Last December we were embroiled in a “will there be a promotion open before the end of the year or not?” fire department drama.  My husband even admitted on Christmas day he felt like he didn’t participate in Christmas.  I gently reminded him how much of his off time he spent on his phone with text and calls about this roller coaster topic with guys from the department…. including when the big news finally came down in the middle of our family gift-buying trip!)

It’s horrible, I know, considering we are the fire couple screaming the loudest about honoring marriages.   But it’s just real.  We get it. With our children and family as a priority and holiday time being so busy… well… “we” just fell by the wayside. It happens, right? You make a plan. Time to spend together but then stuff comes up. That is marriage. Then work. A shift. OT opportunities. He is too tired to go out. So you hang the dress back up. You try a little less the next time. 

We just fell into a pattern and sitting on the couch became comfortable (you don’t have to pay a babysitter for that!). But, where is the romance there?

You see, I made a promise that I would not let that happen this year.  I was also going full force as a mom, volunteer, soccer carpool – you name it! This is amazing for my family, but what about my marriage.

Here are a few tips to keep the focus on your marriage during the holidays this year (and the other eleven months!):

1. I had to learn to say “no!” to things that will pull me away from our relationship more and truly focus on things that will bring us together.  Being a fire wife means that half the time we know we won’t see our spouse. It means that we know going into every single day we have to make the most of our time together.
   
2.  Pick one night a month that is YOUR night. (Yes this can vary with the fire scheduled so set it monthly!)  Inside the house or out, you are spending it together, no matter what. It helps to have a “going out” plan and a “staying in” plan so that it doesn’t end up being just another night where you both sit on the couch doing the say old thing!
3. Take the first big step. I KNOW you want him to romantically notice that you are dying to be asked out but lets be real.  Guys don’t always get that hint.  We need to be bold and not expect them to read our minds.   Buy him a small gift you know he will love or make him something. Plan a sexy surprise and write him a note to stick in his overnight bag. Put yourself out there and expect nothing in return. Your gesture will mean a lot but remember, it is a gesture!

Need a few ideas?  We got them at FirefighterWife.com/datenight (Hint: It doesn’t have to be a date night!)