What couples do you know who have marriages that you admire? Look around you at the firehouse for the perhaps quieter, but steady couple. If you are a person of faith, look around your church for such couples. How can you and your spouse determine to spend more time around them?
The firehouse can get a bad rap for some of the trash talk that can happen around the kitchen table about spouses and significant others. Certainly, it happens in some places at some times.
But I do believe there a lot of other moments, whether public or private, where the good guys encourage each other to show up at home like they do for their brothers. Firefighters, who at the station are you allowing to speak into your life and marriage?
Who do you follow on social media? For many today, a significant amount of time is spent there. Are you seeing things on social media that are encouraging you to keep showing up and doing the hard work in your marriage? To keep having fun with each other despite life’s many demands?
Maybe you’re having trouble thinking of some real life couples that you admire.
A good place to start could be in our online communities, the Fire Wife Sisterhood and for the guys, the Honor Guard. The groups are full of welcoming firefighters and significant others who are all working toward the same goal: strong marriages and families in spite of the extra obstacles the fire life and schedule can bring.
Today my firefighter and I are celebrating 16 years of marriage. In true fire life fashion we won’t see each other till late tonight. Thankfully, we will be celebrating this weekend!
Six and a half years ago I stumbled across the Firefighter Wife public page and private sisterhood group. At the time I had two young kiddos, and was beyond beyond frustrated with what I felt the fire service was stealing away from our family.
There was no one in my “real” life that I felt I could talk to about these challenges, and I was so thankful to find these women who GOT IT! Just knowing that I wasn’t alone began to help my perspective so much. Some were just getting starting, some had been married for quite awhile. As a result, my marriage has been exponentially strengthened. I can’t imagine what it would look like today if I was still sitting alone with my own bitter thoughts, or letting a world of people who didn’t “get it” feed me expectations of what it should look like.
Over the years we’ve gotten to meet so many of these couples in person at Commitment Weekend. Getting to meet in person has solidified those online friendships into real life, feet on the ground, we show up for each other kind of friendships. They might not always tell me what I want to hear when I’m complaining about something but chances are they’ll shoot me straight and remind me what a privilege it is to show up for your spouse in the every day. At this stage of life, we know too many who no longer have the privilege.
What do you want your relationship to look like 5 or 10 years down the road?
Who can you surround yourself with that will help you get there? How can you bring renewed energy and determination to your marriage?
Perhaps you could use a weekend away to remember why you fell in love. I mean, really, who couldn’t?!?! Be sure to check out Commitment Weekend 2019 in Charlotte, NC. Learn more about Commitment Weekend today at CommitmentWeekend.com.