You Become Like the 5 People You Hang Around the Most

by | Commitment Weekends, Communication, Events, Everyday, Firefighter Marriage

You become like the 5 people you hang around the most.
Chances are you’ve heard this statement before in some form. I know I’ve heard it in business, in faith circles, in fitness endeavors, etc. Have you ever taken some time to consider what it might mean for your marriage?
We tend to take cues from our environment about what is “normal,” whether that’s in eating habits, to choices about whether or not to gossip, to deciding whether or not to build up or put down your spouse. 
What couples do you know who have marriages that you admire? Look around you at the firehouse for the perhaps quieter, but steady couple. If you are a person of faith, look around your church for such couples. How can you and your spouse determine to spend more time around them? 
The firehouse can get a bad rap for some of the trash talk that can happen around the kitchen table about spouses and significant others. Certainly, it happens in some places at some times. 
But I do believe there a lot of other moments, whether public or private, where the good guys encourage each other to show up at home like they do for their brothers. Firefighters, who at the station are you allowing to speak into your life and marriage? 
Who do you follow on social media? For many today, a significant amount of time is spent there. Are you seeing things on social media that are encouraging you to keep showing up and doing the hard work in your marriage? To keep having fun with each other despite life’s many demands? 
Make sure you’re following Firefighter Wife on Facebook.

Maybe you’re having trouble thinking of some real life couples that you admire.

A good place to start could be in our online community on Facebook full of welcoming firefighters and significant others who are all working toward the same goal: strong marriages and families in spite of the extra obstacles the fire life and schedule can bring.
Today my firefighter and I are celebrating 16 years of marriage. In true fire life fashion we won’t see each other till late tonight. Thankfully, we will be celebrating this weekend! 
Six and a half years ago I stumbled across the Firefighter Wife public page. At the time I had two young kiddos, and was beyond beyond frustrated with what I felt the fire service was stealing away from our family.
There was no one in my “real” life that I felt I could talk to about these challenges, and I was so thankful to find these women who GOT IT! Just knowing that I wasn’t alone began to help my perspective so much. Some were just getting starting, some had been married for quite awhile. As a result, my marriage has been exponentially strengthened. I can’t imagine what it would look like today if I was still sitting alone with my own bitter thoughts, or letting a world of people who didn’t “get it” feed me expectations of what it should look like. 
Over the years we’ve gotten to meet so many of these couples in person at Commitment Weekend. Getting to meet in person has solidified those online friendships into real life, feet on the ground, we show up for each other kind of friendships. They might not always tell me what I want to hear when I’m complaining about something  but chances are they’ll shoot me straight and remind me what a privilege it is to show up for your spouse in the every day. At this stage of life, we know too many who no longer have the privilege.
What do you want your relationship to look like 5 or 10 years down the road?
Who can you surround yourself with that will help you get there? How can you bring renewed energy and determination to your marriage? 
Perhaps you could use a weekend away to remember why you fell in love. I mean, really, who couldn’t?!?!  Be sure to check out Commitment Weekend at
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Jessie -

Just a small town girl married to a firefighter since 2008, but she's so much more than a Fire Wife. She's been a member of the FirefighterWife family since 2012 and knows marriage takes a lot of work, even when it's in the best seasons.


  1. Alexina White

    Online communities are the best way to connect and expand the social circle, meet like-minded people, form strong bonds, share experiences, and overcome loneliness. It is true that in married life, it is normal to have disagreements, dissatisfaction, and conflicts, but support from like-minded people can really help in solving issues and maintaining a long healthy relationship. I feel firefighter’s online communities, the Fire Wife Sisterhood and the Honor Guard, and meeting like-minded people in Commitment Weekend are ideal opportunities for single and married couples.

    • Jessie -

      Absolutely! Thank you so much for you comment. You get it!


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