We have heard this comment so often in fire wife discussions and no doubt does it bring an undercurrent of distrust and lack of transparency in a marriage.  

Scenarios range from husbands picking random girls on Facebook and starting a “get to know you chat” to old friends who come back into their life to ex’s who want to “keep in touch” to even co-workers, colleagues and friends who start to ‘cross that line’ in private messages.  By the way this applies to all social media platforms and text messaging.  Any place you could have a private one-on-one conversation with a member of the opposite sex.  AND…it goes for you wives as well.

Listen, you all know men and women are going to interact with each other all the time in life.  That’s how it works.  So if you are one of those wives whose skin crawls every time your husband is in contact with another female, you definitely have some significant issues to work on in your marriage.   That’s not where we are going here.

There are healthy boundaries.

In fact, this all boils down to one simple test.

And as long as you are not recently recovering from an infidelity in your marriage, this test should always work.  We call it the “coffee talk test“.   And actually, all credit goes to my husband.   It was plain as day to him and we decided to share with you by video.   May this topic open some healthy growth conversations in your marriage!

Intentionally Focus on Your Marriage


Whether you’ve been married for 1 day, 1 year, 10 years or 50 years, marriage requires constant attention. And when work and kids and finances and calendars seem to take over all your discussions and time, it’s easy to forget that you used to be head over heels in love with constant butterflies around your husband / wife. Why does that need to end?

Marriage on Fire is a 6 week video series intended to bring an intentional focus on the love of your life.

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Firefighter Wife on a mission to save fire marriages, nurture and encourage other fire wives and love on Jesus, my firefighter and our 4 kids. Blessed to be leading this amazing community of Fire Wives.

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