Especially for the Fire Wife
We all love our men in uniforms with their giving and fearless hearts. Some days it is easier to express and show this love than others. We deal with unique challenges as the wife of a firefighter. We must learn to juggle schedules, manage the household and children on our own, many times while working our own jobs as well. Our firefighters depend on us to hold everything down while they are at the station. Here is a great place to join other fire wives in laughter, advice, stories, tips, and encouragement. Find what you need to be the best fire wife for your husband and kids.
To My Dear Husband, I Am Worried Your Heart Has Hardened
As fire wives we must understand this : Our husbands are exposed to trauma everyday. Sometimes, it isn’t one large traumatic event that can take a mental toll on your spouse, it’s the constant and continual exposure to these so-called ‘minor’ traumas...
New Traditions in the Face of a Covid Thanksgiving
The Fire Community is no stranger to disappointing holidays. We’ve all had to learn to adapt to scheduling conflicts, unexpected changes and spouses/families being alone on some of the most special days of the year. We have to get creative and create new...
Fire Family Protocols: Lessen the Spread of Contagions from the Firehouse to Home
Dear Fire Wife Sisters, What crazy times we are facing. But some of you are no stranger to this. Our firefighters are "first in" on many contagious situations. And for some of you, this is a first. Maybe you are a new fire family or simply haven't faced this situation...
Social Distancing: Covid-19
WHY IS COVID-19 DIFFERENT THAN INFLUENZA AND WHY IS SOCIAL DISTANCING IS IMPORTANT? Some thoughts / tips to understand facts and see how I’m handling this as a mom, fire family and business owner: NUMBERS AND MATH DON’T LIE I say this to my kids and...
How Marriage Comparison is Stealing Your Joy
This Guest Post is brought to you by Rachel Mellencamp. (Twitter: @rachelmcamp and IG: @rachelmellencamp) She been married for 3 years to her Firefighter. She says she is still figuring it out. (Aren't we all 😉 ) She also has a passion for firefighters and their...
The Promotional Process Stole Our Christmas
Last Christmas day, my husband sat across the room and said he felt like this Christmas didn't really feel like Christmas. He hadn't really seen any of the gifts that I had been scrambling around the past month to buy for the kids. And...
Firefighter Family Photos You’ll Cherish For Generations
Even on the worst days of politics and drama on facebook, an adorable family photo, engagement photo or baby photo is going to make you smile. Especially when it includes a firefighter family! Photographic memories are so near and dear and precious to us all....
How To Watch a Fire Movie With Your Firefighter
Firefighter movies. You cannot escape them as a fire wife, nor should you in my opinion. Whether it's watching live burns on Youtube videos or the ritualistic watching of Ladder 49 or Backdraft (with all the commentary as to what's real and accurate and what's...
What to Say to Your Firefighter When He’s Had a Bad Call
You can feel the air turn tense before a word is even said. You know it was a bad shift. Something must have happened to make such a drastic change in your firefighter. Maybe he is angry, or silent, or sad....you just know something isn't right. Do you ask about it?...
Things You Wish You Knew When You Were a New Fire Wife
Shift Night Chatter: Things You Wish You Knew As A New Fire wife There are so many things I can think back on and wish I knew when I was a brand new fire wife. This was the inspiration for this week's Shift Night Chatter and it struck a chord as we had nearly 500...
10 Things I Learned in One Year as a Fire Wife Blogger
This weekend marks exactly one year since I took over running this website and posted my introductory post here. Since then we've grown by over 10,000 fans on our Facebook page and 1200 members in our Private Wives group. Most importantly, I've learned a lot of life...
Want to know the secret to being a Firefighter Wife? Be Fire Wife Strong.
We don't walk into the Fire Wife Life equipped with everything we need to effortlessly transition into the fire life. Some of you do manage pretty well, but some of us do not make the transition so easily. Whether it's a newlywed who had no idea what the fire life...
To My Dear Husband, I Am Worried Your Heart Has Hardened
As fire wives we must understand this : Our husbands are exposed to trauma everyday. Sometimes, it isn’t one large traumatic event that can take a mental toll on your spouse, it’s the constant and continual exposure to these so-called ‘minor’ traumas...
The Fire Department is Destroying Us All
Let’s not pretend this thought to quit the fire service never crosses your mind. (and if you are living some amazing fire life where it never has, can we ask for a moment of your silence here because based on our experiences with this world, you are the...
Have you normalized DefCon5 in your house?
Did you know (or forget?) that when someone is regularly around crazy high levels of crisis (which is every single first responder, and their families secondarily), that high level of crazy can be normalized? You don't even feel the crazy, until the...
Why Your Holiday Feelings are Bigger (and how to guide that sleigh)
You know what feels good when life gets crazy? Validation that you aren't crazy. Yes, Virginia, Your Fire Family Christmas IS Extra crazytown. We validate that as professionals with professional advice. You already know this as a fire family (but let's check...
Fire Wife Wisdom {On Duty Communication Plan}
Do you have a plan about how and when you contact your firefighter? We often get the question, "I have a problem (insert a long list of possible issues from mild to important ), should I call my firefighter, or wait until he gets off duty?" "I have this...
New Traditions in the Face of a Covid Thanksgiving
The Fire Community is no stranger to disappointing holidays. We’ve all had to learn to adapt to scheduling conflicts, unexpected changes and spouses/families being alone on some of the most special days of the year. We have to get creative and create new...
A Cry For Help From The Homefront of the First Responder Mental Health Crisis
This article is a call for accountability to solve a root cause as to why violence happens by first responders. We live in a world where I need to add that disclaimer. Let's get on with the important work. This is a marathon, not a sprint and a healthier humanity...
Fire Family Protocols: Lessen the Spread of Contagions from the Firehouse to Home
Dear Fire Wife Sisters, What crazy times we are facing. But some of you are no stranger to this. Our firefighters are "first in" on many contagious situations. And for some of you, this is a first. Maybe you are a new fire family or simply haven't faced this situation...
Social Distancing: Covid-19
WHY IS COVID-19 DIFFERENT THAN INFLUENZA AND WHY IS SOCIAL DISTANCING IS IMPORTANT? Some thoughts / tips to understand facts and see how I’m handling this as a mom, fire family and business owner: NUMBERS AND MATH DON’T LIE I say this to my kids and...
To My Dear Husband, I Am Worried Your Heart Has Hardened
As fire wives we must understand this : Our husbands are exposed to trauma everyday. Sometimes, it isn’t one large traumatic event that can take a mental toll on your spouse, it’s the constant and continual exposure to these so-called ‘minor’ traumas...
The Fire Department is Destroying Us All
Let’s not pretend this thought to quit the fire service never crosses your mind. (and if you are living some amazing fire life where it never has, can we ask for a moment of your silence here because based on our experiences with this world, you are the...
Have you normalized DefCon5 in your house?
Did you know (or forget?) that when someone is regularly around crazy high levels of crisis (which is every single first responder, and their families secondarily), that high level of crazy can be normalized? You don't even feel the crazy, until the...
Why Your Holiday Feelings are Bigger (and how to guide that sleigh)
You know what feels good when life gets crazy? Validation that you aren't crazy. Yes, Virginia, Your Fire Family Christmas IS Extra crazytown. We validate that as professionals with professional advice. You already know this as a fire family (but let's check...
Fire Wife Wisdom {On Duty Communication Plan}
Do you have a plan about how and when you contact your firefighter? We often get the question, "I have a problem (insert a long list of possible issues from mild to important ), should I call my firefighter, or wait until he gets off duty?" "I have this...
New Traditions in the Face of a Covid Thanksgiving
The Fire Community is no stranger to disappointing holidays. We’ve all had to learn to adapt to scheduling conflicts, unexpected changes and spouses/families being alone on some of the most special days of the year. We have to get creative and create new...
A Cry For Help From The Homefront of the First Responder Mental Health Crisis
This article is a call for accountability to solve a root cause as to why violence happens by first responders. We live in a world where I need to add that disclaimer. Let's get on with the important work. This is a marathon, not a sprint and a healthier humanity...
Fire Family Protocols: Lessen the Spread of Contagions from the Firehouse to Home
Dear Fire Wife Sisters, What crazy times we are facing. But some of you are no stranger to this. Our firefighters are "first in" on many contagious situations. And for some of you, this is a first. Maybe you are a new fire family or simply haven't faced this situation...
Social Distancing: Covid-19
WHY IS COVID-19 DIFFERENT THAN INFLUENZA AND WHY IS SOCIAL DISTANCING IS IMPORTANT? Some thoughts / tips to understand facts and see how I’m handling this as a mom, fire family and business owner: NUMBERS AND MATH DON’T LIE I say this to my kids and...
To My Dear Husband, I Am Worried Your Heart Has Hardened
As fire wives we must understand this : Our husbands are exposed to trauma everyday. Sometimes, it isn’t one large traumatic event that can take a mental toll on your spouse, it’s the constant and continual exposure to these so-called ‘minor’ traumas...
The Fire Department is Destroying Us All
Let’s not pretend this thought to quit the fire service never crosses your mind. (and if you are living some amazing fire life where it never has, can we ask for a moment of your silence here because based on our experiences with this world, you are the...
Have you normalized DefCon5 in your house?
Did you know (or forget?) that when someone is regularly around crazy high levels of crisis (which is every single first responder, and their families secondarily), that high level of crazy can be normalized? You don't even feel the crazy, until the...
Why Your Holiday Feelings are Bigger (and how to guide that sleigh)
You know what feels good when life gets crazy? Validation that you aren't crazy. Yes, Virginia, Your Fire Family Christmas IS Extra crazytown. We validate that as professionals with professional advice. You already know this as a fire family (but let's check...
Fire Wife Wisdom {On Duty Communication Plan}
Do you have a plan about how and when you contact your firefighter? We often get the question, "I have a problem (insert a long list of possible issues from mild to important ), should I call my firefighter, or wait until he gets off duty?" "I have this...
New Traditions in the Face of a Covid Thanksgiving
The Fire Community is no stranger to disappointing holidays. We’ve all had to learn to adapt to scheduling conflicts, unexpected changes and spouses/families being alone on some of the most special days of the year. We have to get creative and create new...
A Cry For Help From The Homefront of the First Responder Mental Health Crisis
This article is a call for accountability to solve a root cause as to why violence happens by first responders. We live in a world where I need to add that disclaimer. Let's get on with the important work. This is a marathon, not a sprint and a healthier humanity...
Fire Family Protocols: Lessen the Spread of Contagions from the Firehouse to Home
Dear Fire Wife Sisters, What crazy times we are facing. But some of you are no stranger to this. Our firefighters are "first in" on many contagious situations. And for some of you, this is a first. Maybe you are a new fire family or simply haven't faced this situation...
Social Distancing: Covid-19
WHY IS COVID-19 DIFFERENT THAN INFLUENZA AND WHY IS SOCIAL DISTANCING IS IMPORTANT? Some thoughts / tips to understand facts and see how I’m handling this as a mom, fire family and business owner: NUMBERS AND MATH DON’T LIE I say this to my kids and...
Finding Fire Wife Friends
A friend who just "gets it" Whether that one friend who just "gets it" is in the fire life or not, hang tight to that friend! So often in this life, not to mention all the seasons through this life, we are crazy busy and our time as a family is treasured, and our...
Things You Wish You Knew When You Were a New Fire Wife
Shift Night Chatter: Things You Wish You Knew As A New Fire wife There are so many things I can think back on and wish I knew when I was a brand new fire wife. This was the inspiration for this week's Shift Night Chatter and it struck a chord as we had nearly 500...
Things You Wish You Knew When You Were a New Fire Wife
Shift Night Chatter: Things You Wish You Knew As A New Fire wife There are so many things I can think back on and wish I knew when I was a brand new fire wife. This was the inspiration for this week's Shift Night Chatter and it struck a chord as we had nearly 500...
{a new fire wife} Jumping in with Both Feet
Today I'm going to introduce myself and tell you more about my life as a newish firefighter wife. You ready for this?? When Matt made the decision to be a fireman, I fully supported it. He was a little hesitant to make the plunge (he toyed around with the idea for a...
Questions from a Soon-to-Be Firefighter Wife
It's only been a few weeks that I've been managing this site so far. First let me just say that you all are A-MAZING! I knew there were others out there having the same troubles I do but these are like too many scary coincidences. You...
Real Fire Wife Diaries
Our Fire Family, Apart But Not Alone for the Holidays
When our firefighters are out there giving, it means we are giving too. Our time together, that is. Firefighter wives across the country are home on holidays cleaning, prepping, wrangling children, keeping up the holiday cheer while their firefighters are at the...
20 Years – Thank You for the Clarity
This post by Michael Morse has been circulating hot and heavy this week and for good reason. It's spot on. Tough words to say and to hear because they carry much sad truth. A depiction of some of the saddest stories of humanity right now. And the message is a...
Surviving the Academy {from FireWifey}
Last month I promised a post about getting through the Academy. I planned to write all about the food that I made, all the hours I cleaned and did laundry, and in general how I was amazing and had this down like a pro. Ha! That is definitely not this post. I mean, I...
{a new fire wife} Jumping in with Both Feet
Today I'm going to introduce myself and tell you more about my life as a newish firefighter wife. You ready for this?? When Matt made the decision to be a fireman, I fully supported it. He was a little hesitant to make the plunge (he toyed around with the idea for a...
Diaries of Real Fire Wives – Day 5 – Reggie
Today wraps up Reggies week of diary posts. She sure shed some light on having that extra hectic schedule of a working mom. Thank you for sharing with us Reggie. <3 Jessie A day in the life of a full-time working-lawyer- mom married to a fire Captain. Plan for...
Diaries of Real Fire Wives – Day 4 – Reggie
A day in the life of a full-time working-lawyer- mom married to a fire Captain. ~ Day 4~ Plan for today: Open Rescue Pack Changing of the Guard (Husband gets home from 24 Hour shift – I leave for work) Work Family Time (sort of) Thursday 6:15am (technically...
Diaries of Real Fire Wives – Day 3 – Reggie
A day in the life of a full-time working-lawyer- mom married to a fire Captain. ~ Day 3 ~ Plan for today: Pack Company Conference FaceTime with Son before flight home Talk to Husband before flight home 6:00am – Wednesday Well, looks like I will end this business trip...
Diaries of Real Fire Wives – Day 2 – Reggie
I totally forgot to into Reggie yesterday! Reggie is a fire wife and a working mom in the big world of corporate lawyers. She travels often and has a wonderful husband who supports her career as much as she supports his. I love Reggie, such a strong, hard working...
Diaries of Real Fire Wives – Day 1 – Reggie
A day in the life of a full-time working-lawyer- mom married to a fire Captain. Plan for today: Early morning physical therapy Travel to San Diego for work (including packing in the wee hours of the morning) FaceTime with husband and son Company Dinner 12:00:01am -...
Taking Care of You
Top Things to Do When Your Firefighter is on Shift
Our Time Together is Kind of a Big Deal... How do you prioritize your schedules when your firefighter is on shift? Do you have certain things that only happen on a shift day/night so you can make the most of every moment when they get home? On last week's Shift Night...
On Haters, Quitting and Positive Change With Social Media (Who’s in?)
YOU are part of an amazing change in our world. Good eventually prevails. Yes it does. Believe in that or you will lose your mind looking around at all the ugly and the hurting. But YOU are part of the good. Keep reading if you are tired of social media being...
Five-Day Fill Up {DAY 5} Self Belief
5 minutes a day for 5 days is not a long time. It’s just enough to tickle some ideas and open your eyes to some changes you may need in your life. And some of you may have used these last few days to create a giant list of things you *must* do in your...
Five-Day Fill Up {Day 4} Positive People
Fill Up with Positive people Who are the positive people who believe in you? Who in your life (physically and virtually) is filling and building you up? Who leaves you inspired and encouraged and feeling capable and thinking clearly? These people should be able...
Five-Day Fill Up {Day 3} Mental Energy
Mental energy. Not much commentary for today’s topic. We all have mental energy, but what we do with it is up to us. Walk through the next few questions and reflect on where you are spending mental energy in wasteful ways. What is occupying space in your...
Five-Day Fill Up {Day 2} Physical Energy
Physical Energy - Nutrition, Fitness, Any health issues holding you back? Sometimes I feel so down and not on top of my day. And then I realize, it’s not “me”, it’s simply that I do not physically feel good. When you aren’t physically feeling good, you can’t be at...
Five-Day Fill Up {Day 1} Your Drive
This "Five Day Fill Up" is designed for our Fire Wife Sisters to clear their minds and get some perspective. Getting clear and setting expectations prior to chaos, actually makes less chaos! Take 5 minutes each day this week to reflect on these topics. ...
Women’s Health {the monthly cycle}
If my husband stumbles across this post he is going to be reading, shaking his head yes and saying "THAT IS YOU!". I know, I know. This being a woman thing is for the birds sometimes. It isn't exactly a walk in the park. Daily life can be drastically...
Women’s Health {depression}
Pay attention to your mental health Did you know? Mental and physical health are connected. Taking care of your mental health can help you feel better physically, and taking care of your body is important for your mental health. Each year, 1 in 5 women in the...
Work That Works
The "sweet spot" is when this "life formula" adds up: Committed Marriage + Physical Health + Mental Health + Happy Family Life + Your Work Is also Your Passion (+ your personal cup of tea hobby and interest) = The Sweet Spot Of course that never adds up perfectly. ...
Creative Work Options for Fire Families
You’re likely to spend 40 years of your life in some form of employment. And, those will be the best hours of each of your days that you spend doing “work”. No matter how much you love your work, once you have children, you realize your most important title in life...
It’s a New Year of Hope Working Mama!
{In 2015, I left a 22 year career in a M-F 8-5 job that I didn't hate but was constantly tearing my heart in two directions. I am so blessed to be in a season where I can be home more for my 4 kids and still be contributing all my purpose and talents in a way that...
Busy or Prioritized?
"There is no one busy in this world, it's always about priorities. You will always find time for the things you feel important." People always say to me they don't know how I do it. 4 (busy active years) kids in hockey, soccer, scouts (I'm the leader), full time...
Worst Day of the Year for Working Moms
Before I even start, let me clarify. All mom's work like mad. But in this case, I'm using the term "working moms" to refer to mom's who work outside the home.The worst day of the year for me is the first day of summer vacation. It's not because I'm dreading having...