Less Divorce. Stronger Fire Marriages.

Marriage isn’t easy.

Divorce is something we do not recommend to anyone without first fighting like mad to save your marriage. Marriage isn’t easy. Throw in the complications of the fire life and it sometimes feels impossible. Long hours at the job. A “second family”.  Stressful calls. Sleepless nights. PTSD. Interrupted communications.  Your schedule not matching the rest of the world’s.  Missed holidays. The list goes on.

Get Connected with Those Who “Get” the Fire Life.

It may seem like your friends and family don’t get the fire life. They may not understand why you want to keep your schedule free on the days your firefighter is home. They may not understand why you take your phone everywhere with you. They may not understand lonely nights and holidays when your firefighter is on shift.


We are here to rescue and strengthen fire marriages.

Here are some resources to help you work through those tough spots.

*Disclaimer:  If you are being physically or verbally abused, we want you to seek help immediately. Try for immediate support.

Steven Stosny, Ph.D.

Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One, program featured twice on Oprah. (Other educational programs for individuals and families.)

Steven Stosny, Ph.D., is the founder of CompassionPower in suburban Washington, DC. He has offered hundreds of workshops all over the world and has presented at most of the leading professional conferences. He has appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” “The Today Show,” “CBS Sunday Morning,” and CNN’s “Talkback Live” and “Anderson Cooper 360” and has been the subject of articles in, The New York TimesThe Washington PostU.S. News & World ReportThe Wall Street JournalEsquireCosmopolitanOPsychology TodayAPReuters, and USA Today. He has treated over 6,000 clients for various forms of resentment, anger, abuse, and violence. He has taught at the University of Maryland and at St. Mary’s College of Maryland. His blog on has had nearly 9 million views.

Choose any or all of the links below for resources from Dr. Stosny.

Leslie Vernick

If you’ve had trouble with:

  • Repetitive relationship difficulties
  • Being stuck in destructive relationships
  • Struggling with an abusive marriage, or
  • Creating better relationships

Leslie is a great place to go to. she is a national and international speaker, author, licensed clinical social worker, consultant and relationship coach with an expertise on the subjects of personal and spiritual growth, marriage improvement, conflict resolution, depression, child abuse, destructive relationships and domestic violence.

Sometimes we do not have a good perspective on how truly dangerous situations in our marriage may be. Because we love this person so much and do not want a failed marriage. So we try at all costs (and we should leave it all on the table when working on our marriage). After so many years of supporting firefighter marriages, we realize that there are truly some situations where one spouse is in an abusive situation that isn’t as obvious as physical abuse. Abuse can also be verbal, emotional, spiritual, financial and anything that keeps one spouse controlled and oppressed. This video from Leslie Vernick helps to discern if that is happening in your marriage and her resources can assist.

Learn more about Leslie Vernick on her website, and check out her Conquer Club Program Here.

Do the ‘Love Dare’

Are you in a marriage slump?

Or just missing the excitement in your marriage? Watch the Fireproof movie and do the 40 day Love Dare devotional book either alone or with your spouse.  Either way your marriage will end up in a better place.

Check out the Love Day, style using The Love Dare blog posts.

Read the Best Firefighter Marriage Blog Posts

Start with The 5 Love Languages

Open Up & Talk

Are you in a marriage slump?

Whether it’s dealing with pure physical or emotional exhaustion,  daily struggles with depression and anxiety increased by job stresses, broken trust, infidelity, or you are struggling in your marriage period, you don’t need to go through it alone.


Click here to connect with Talkspace today!

These are topics that are too big to handle on our own.

Go to counseling if you need to (we’ve all done it). There are topics we have to tell you straight up that we can’t diagnose and counsel you through in our FirefighterWife community. Even if your spouse doesn’t want to go with you, go on your own.  It works. I’ve been there on multiple occasions and I would bet that 95% of all the other Fire Wives will tell you the same thing.

Call your department. Ask about an EAP program (Employee Assistance Program). Call a local church with a counseling center.

If you don’t like the first counselor you go to, try another. Just go.

Reignite Flames

in the bedroom!

Whether you are more on the wild side or the conservative side, this eBook will light a fire in your bedroom for you sure. There is something for everyone.

And for those of you who may not be hearing this at your church, I’m a Jesus freak and I’ve read Song of Solomon. And I’m certain he wants us to be having amazingly hot sex with our husbands. If somethings broken there, time to fix it.

When All Else Fails…

work on YOU

What if he doesn’t want to work on your marriage? It won’t hurt anything for you to work on yourself. What’s going on in your head? How do you physically feel? Get active. Read a book. Pray. Join one of our programs here online.

We can’t fully engage in a healthy relationship unless we’ve got our feet squarely on the ground and our head on straight as well. In the moments when I was most frustrated with my marriage, I had to turn my focus on being a better me so I’d have the patience and endurance to love him in the midst of his storm.

Counseling is an amazing option. You may have to “shop” around to find the one for YOU, but we highly recommend counselling to everyone who will listen!  Individual counseling is a great gift to yourself.