Our 24-7 COMMITMENT to Our Marriages Does Not Include Pornography

This is most definitely not the most popular stance for the general public and especially for a secular site such as ours.  But it is our stance and for very good reasons.   We will do everything possible to strengthen our marriages and would like to share with you how pornography, even when used for fun with seemingly with good intention, is destroying your marriage and your brain.

Pornography is like a drug.  Drugs are habit forming.  And literally change the neuro paths in our brains.

Explore these resources for more information on this topic scientifically and with personal testimonies from fire families.

TED Talk – A Scientific Explanation of Pornography’s Effect on the Brain

This video gives you insight into what’s going on in the male brain during pornography exposure and why it’s damaging relationships.   Watch it here.

Patheos:  The Relationship Between Porn and Technology

9 Minute video from Jefferson Bethke  Watch it here.

Protecting Our Youth

Pornography is one click away from our youth.  And those teen and pre-teen minds are incredibly impressionable.   If you have a boy, read this book to learn exactly how habit forming pornographic images are to a young testosterone soaked brain of an adolescent.

5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son




The Male Brain and Pornography

 Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain

In this book neuroscientist and researcher William Struthers explains how pornography affects the male brain and what we can do about it. Because we are embodied beings, viewing pornography changes how the brain works, how we form memories and make attachments. By better understanding the biological realities of our sexual development, we can cultivate healthier sexual perspectives and interpersonal relationships.

Many Men and Women struggle with this topic and we are not here to judge, but only to provide a positive environment for you to find support and to strengthen yourself with mentors and encouraging community groups.

Men, join the free Honor Guard community where you can find real talk with other men who struggle and have overcome the need for pornography in their marriage.

If You Watch Porn, You’re Still Welcome Here!

More important than our belief on any one issue is the building of a community.  We just want to be clear and upfront with everyone that we will not condone the use of pornography nor discussion of it in our communities.

But there are at least 27,376 other topics we can talk about related to strengthening the fire service by strengthening our marriages and families.  And that, my friends, we must do as a one team.

Ladies, join the Fire Wife Sisterhood and find support from others who are dating, engaged or married to a firefighter and facing this battle in their relationship.

Internet Protection For Your Family

Men!  We’d Love to Hear From You!

The Honor Guard formed only in early June so we are still building up our resources for the guys.   If you want to boldly and courageously speak out on this topic, consider being a guest writer.   Or share your personal testimony via email to be included on this page.

Russell Brand Share’s His Reason for Opposition to Porn

Personal Testimonials from Fire Families

Porn is so accepted by so many people, and many do not realize the impact it can have. I used to belong to a mom’s group on Facbook, and the message regarding porn there was: ALL men watch porn. If you think your guy doesn’t watch it, your head is in the sand. If he tells you he doesn’t, he’s lying. If you don’t like it, you’re a prude. Only those who watch it with their husbands and support it are “cool”. My husband used to be addicted to porn, beginning as a teenager (and encouraged by his father), and it hurt me deeply. He is very respectful of my feelings about it now, and, as far as I know (and I trust him), he has stayed away from it for some time. He even averts his eyes when a Victoria’s Secret commercial comes on–at least around me. ((Hugs)) to everyone who is going through this struggle right now. I know just how much it hurts.

My ex used to watch porn. I watched too. At the time it didn’t bother me. After awhile though, he liked to watch more intense out there stuff to keep his attention. Sex wasn’t intimate anymore. He eventually left me for much younger women who would have the three somes and do the things I wouldn’t. That wasn’t the whole reason for our divorce, but I’m convinced it contributed significantly.
So, now, I’m not willing to bring porn into my marriage.

I have a very personal disgust for porn because my husband became addicted as a teen. I didn’t even know until after we were married, and when he confessed it to me one night. It broke my heart. I felt betrayed and completely inadequate. And seeing how it hurt me, he was also crushed. I’m not even sure why he told me. I think he just needed some accountability and felt he had no one else to tell. It is still a daily struggle for him, even though he doesn’t willingly look for it anymore, but when you work with nothing but men…it comes up. It is also a daily struggle for me to not over think things. So no, I strongly recommend against it.

For the record, I don’t want my Ff to go down as a bad husband or man. I seriously hit the jackpot with him! He definitely has his struggles, but he is an amazing husband and father. And he always considers my feelings, which is why I think he struggles so much in the first place! And since we have gotten to the place where we can discuss it calmly, our sex life has become so much healthier!


I didn’t know about my husband’s porn addiction until after we we’re engaged. It killed me. I can honestly say our sex life has dramatically changed because of it. I hate it. And it is so hard not to over think. We have had some very real fights because of it. The last one I actually got in the car and left. He’s stopped since then as far as I know, but after 2 years of that and I will never be the same.

The Problem With Pornography is Bigger Than Just Our Marriages

Pornography Drives the Human Trafficking Industry

20-30 million people are sold for sex every day.  (from DoSomething.org) It’s not just a problem outside of the United States.  Every city in the US has a sex trafficking issue and organizations out to stop it  (SheHasAName.com one of my favorites here in Columbus, Ohio)   And there are numerous statistics to show that the porn industry feeds human trafficking.