So many times we hear from wives saying they are often met with such a bad attitudes from their firefighters.  Our advice isn’t an easy one to accept since it isn’t always popular to be the bigger person.  Firefighters, this is great advice for you too, if you’re reading.  “Why should I be the one to try to make things better?” is a good question.  Why?

Because you can impact your spouse’s mood in a positive way.

How?  By ignoring their bad mood, keeping your end of the conversation civil, not reacting to off the handle comments and looking right through their stomping or sulking.  Can you imagine if we took the time to think about our reaction?  Give your spouse some space and time to realize their irritability.

Firefighters… you’re not this way all the time.  We’re not saying you’re all salty bitter spouses.  But there is no denying a sleepless night, a bad call, a frustration with something at the firehouse can send you home  in a bad mood.

Do you realize how much your family is impacted by this?  

Don’t stuff it.  Don’t hide from your wife, the one closest to you in your entire life, the feelings you need to get out.  Find a healthy way to get them out.  To share with the family around you what’s put you in a bad mood so they can stop wondering if it’s something they did.

Your spouse and your whole family can be more understanding of why you may feel a little irritable with a simple recognition of the cause and result.

Together….don’t fall into the bickering trap.  Every out of line remark doesn’t have to be met with one as equally out of line.  Hard to remember in the moment, I know, but what if we could try at least half of the time? What sense does it make to wait for someone else to step up and make the right choice?  Greeting your spouse in a positive way can help change their mood and remind them you aren’t the enemy.

No, you aren’t responsible for how your husband or wife behaves.  Full stop.  But you are responsible for how you react to their behavior. We all have bad days.  Learn to greet your spouse in a positive way when you find them in a bad mood.

Be on each other’s team!  We all have bad days.

As always – If you are being physically or verbally abused, we want you to seek help immediately.  TryTheHotline.org for immediate support.