Firefighter Marriage
Fast-paced, unpredictable, passionate, one-of-a-kind, committed, engaging, challenging, priceless…These are a just a few of the words that describe Firefighter Marriages. A couple can be on fire one minute, and cold as ice the next. How do you keep the flame burning hot? Communication, missed holidays, schedules, and balance can be hard…But your love can be stronger. Find support, connections, resources, and laughter here to help your marriage be Fire Strong!
To My Dear Husband, I Am Worried Your Heart Has Hardened
As fire wives we must understand this : Our husbands are exposed to trauma everyday. Sometimes, it isn’t one large traumatic event that can take a mental toll on your spouse, it’s the constant and continual exposure to these so-called ‘minor’ traumas...
The Fire Department is Destroying Us All
Let’s not pretend this thought to quit the fire service never crosses your mind. (and if you are living some amazing fire life where it never has, can we ask for a moment of your silence here because based on our experiences with this world, you are the...
Have you normalized DefCon5 in your house?
Did you know (or forget?) that when someone is regularly around crazy high levels of crisis (which is every single first responder, and their families secondarily), that high level of crazy can be normalized? You don't even feel the crazy, until the...
Why Your Holiday Feelings are Bigger (and how to guide that sleigh)
You know what feels good when life gets crazy? Validation that you aren't crazy. Yes, Virginia, Your Fire Family Christmas IS Extra crazytown. We validate that as professionals with professional advice. You already know this as a fire family (but let's check...
Fire Wife Wisdom {On Duty Communication Plan}
Do you have a plan about how and when you contact your firefighter? We often get the question, "I have a problem (insert a long list of possible issues from mild to important ), should I call my firefighter, or wait until he gets off duty?" "I have this...
Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff (But When is it Small Stuff?!)
This Guest Post is from Courtney Murrell of fromtheashesiamreal.com. This post hit home with me, and maybe you'll relate some too. It's great to be able to see others in the Fire Life experiencing the same things, even when it isn't technically fire...
How Marriage Comparison is Stealing Your Joy
This Guest Post is brought to you by Rachel Mellencamp. (Twitter: @rachelmcamp and IG: @rachelmellencamp) She been married for 3 years to her Firefighter. She says she is still figuring it out. (Aren't we all 😉 ) She also has a passion for firefighters and their...
You Become Like the 5 People You Hang Around the Most
You become like the 5 people you hang around the most. Chances are you’ve heard this statement before in some form. I know I’ve heard it in business, in faith circles, in fitness endeavors, etc. Have you ever taken some time to consider what it might mean for...
Family First, FDIC, or Both?
Here's a long one..... are you ready? Are you going to FDIC? Is your firefighter? Do you even know what it is? At least here in the midwest, the buzz is loud about this event - the largest gathering of firefighters in the country drawing around 30,000...
To My Dear Husband, I Am Worried Your Heart Has Hardened
As fire wives we must understand this : Our husbands are exposed to trauma everyday. Sometimes, it isn’t one large traumatic event that can take a mental toll on your spouse, it’s the constant and continual exposure to these so-called ‘minor’ traumas...
The Fire Department is Destroying Us All
Let’s not pretend this thought to quit the fire service never crosses your mind. (and if you are living some amazing fire life where it never has, can we ask for a moment of your silence here because based on our experiences with this world, you are the...
Have you normalized DefCon5 in your house?
Did you know (or forget?) that when someone is regularly around crazy high levels of crisis (which is every single first responder, and their families secondarily), that high level of crazy can be normalized? You don't even feel the crazy, until the...
Holiday Exhaustion – How Will It Impact Your Marriage?
Can you feel it? The bloat of stuffing and the turkey just fading away. The jingling bells of Christmas and the holiday season coming right for you? The holidays are officially here and hollering merrily that it is time to decide what WILL be the perfect gift for...
Keep the Love Fires Burning Over the Distance
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely." Charles M. Schultz I am going to be honest, there were times I wasn't sure we would make it through and still be together in the end. But there were also times when I was flying...
How To Watch a Fire Movie With Your Firefighter
Firefighter movies. You cannot escape them as a fire wife, nor should you in my opinion. Whether it's watching live burns on Youtube videos or the ritualistic watching of Ladder 49 or Backdraft (with all the commentary as to what's real and accurate and what's...
Married…but dating.
Are you married but dating? Still dating your spouse that is. There are three things that sometimes prevent us all from having a “date night” with our firefighters weather we are married or in a long term relationship. We had this come up over and over again. Time,...
Missing Date Night? How to Find Alone Time with Our Crazy Firefighter Schedules
Credit to Heather Isaacs As most people know, our firefighters have very odd schedules (odd to most people = normal to us). It’s only more complicated with those of us that have kids in school, working outside the house, and kids involved in extra-curricular...
Take the 7 Days of Sex Challenge
Want to get your husband's attention? Let's talk about sex. You, however, may be feeling like two ships passing in the night wondering where the physical intimacy has gone or if it will ever come back again. Maybe it is firefighter academy, starting a new...
Fire Up Your Love Life
I am so excited to announce a new feature on FirefighterWife.com entitled "Fire Up Your Love Life" as we welcome a new partner, Heather Isaacs. Heather is one of our administrators in the Private Wives Group and one of my biggest personal cheerleaders when life gets...
My Husband Facebook Messages Girls All the Time
We have heard this comment so often in fire wife discussions and no doubt does it bring an undercurrent of distrust and lack of transparency in marriage. Scenarios range from husbands picking random girls on Facebook and starting a "get to know you chat" to old...
A Firefighter Marriage Story – Surviving Infidelity
Meet Christy and Chad. Married 19 years. Known each other most of their lives and dated 5 years before getting married. Here is their inspiring story of making marriage amazing. How did you meet? We met when we were 13 or 14 at our local skating rink, I actually...
A Firefighter Marriage Story – Secrets to 36 Years
Meet LeAnne and Sam Cary. They've been married for 36 years! And I had the pleasure of meeting them in person this past summer when I visited Texas. One of the best parts of this job as Chief Fire Wife is all the amazing people we get to interact with. This is one...
A Firefighter Marriage Story – Surviving Infidelity
Meet Christy and Chad. Married 19 years. Known each other most of their lives and dated 5 years before getting married. Here is their inspiring story of making marriage amazing. How did you meet? We met when we were 13 or 14 at our local skating rink, I actually...
24 / 48 / 72 – What shift is it today? {from FireWifey}
As I write this, we are one full month into a regular fire schedule. I use the term “regular” rather loosely. As many veteran fire wives can attest, there really is no such thing as regular. Things come up, shifts get traded, overtime gets mandatoried, and so on....
Fire Up Your Love Life Gift Guide
***DISCLAIMER: The following content may not safe for work, public places or children. It contains our Fire Up Your Love Life Gift Guide. This gift guide is meant to Fire Up Your Love Life and bring a closer connection with your spouse. Proceed at your own risk 😉 ...
Filling Up the Love Tank Before Shift
Do you ever wish your firefighter could read your mind about what you want the day or night before he goes back on shift? Well, wish granted!This question came straight from firefighters to their spouses."What is the best help or prep we (the husbands) can do before...
Think Pornography Isn’t Affecting You?
Russell Brand. Way to step up. Who better to tell us the damage done by pornography than someone who's been there, done that and shares his open and honest viewpoint. “Our attitudes towards sex have become warped and perverted,” Brand ranted, “and have deviated...
A Firefighter Marriage Story – Surviving Infidelity
Meet Christy and Chad. Married 19 years. Known each other most of their lives and dated 5 years before getting married. Here is their inspiring story of making marriage amazing. How did you meet? We met when we were 13 or 14 at our local skating rink, I actually...
Take the 7 Days of Sex Challenge
Want to get your husband's attention? Let's talk about sex. You, however, may be feeling like two ships passing in the night wondering where the physical intimacy has gone or if it will ever come back again. Maybe it is firefighter academy, starting a new...
12 Steamy Days of Christmas with Your Fireman
It's that time of year again, and the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping piled on top of shift work and overtime and holiday parades and awards banquets...is enough to turn anyone into the Grinch. With all of the holiday insanity, it can be so easy to slip...
7 Sexy Reasons Your Marriage Needs Exercise
This post comes to you from Tony DiLorenzo of ONE Extraordinary Marriage. He co-hosts the #1 Marriage Podcast on iTunes, ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show, with his wife, Alisa. Tony has co-authored three books: Happy, Healthy & Hot!, Stripped Down: 13 Keys to...
Sleep Well My Love
My husband has been a firefighter for well over a decade. In the early years, he worked at many stations and shuffled his gear and bedding from one house to the next in the back of his truck. It got a lot of mileage and firehouse dirt tracked all over it....
Another Bad Call
ANOTHER. BAD. CALL. Unfortunately, we don't always know when our firefighters have had a bad call. Sometimes they fly right under the radar, getting hidden in a compartment somewhere they didn’t even know they had. Our husbands are almost constantly exposed to...
Don’t Hoard the Trauma
You don’t have to hoard the trauma - throw it out. Well, maybe it’s not as easy as throwing it out… but we do have the ability to fight trauma head-on as it happens versus storing it away to grow into a bigger problem over time. Listen to this new way to look...
To My Dear Husband, I Am Worried Your Heart Has Hardened
As fire wives we must understand this : Our husbands are exposed to trauma everyday. Sometimes, it isn’t one large traumatic event that can take a mental toll on your spouse, it’s the constant and continual exposure to these so-called ‘minor’ traumas...
The Fire Department is Destroying Us All
Let’s not pretend this thought to quit the fire service never crosses your mind. (and if you are living some amazing fire life where it never has, can we ask for a moment of your silence here because based on our experiences with this world, you are the...
Have you normalized DefCon5 in your house?
Did you know (or forget?) that when someone is regularly around crazy high levels of crisis (which is every single first responder, and their families secondarily), that high level of crazy can be normalized? You don't even feel the crazy, until the...
Why Your Holiday Feelings are Bigger (and how to guide that sleigh)
You know what feels good when life gets crazy? Validation that you aren't crazy. Yes, Virginia, Your Fire Family Christmas IS Extra crazytown. We validate that as professionals with professional advice. You already know this as a fire family (but let's check...
Fire Wife Wisdom {On Duty Communication Plan}
Do you have a plan about how and when you contact your firefighter? We often get the question, "I have a problem (insert a long list of possible issues from mild to important ), should I call my firefighter, or wait until he gets off duty?" "I have this...
New Traditions in the Face of a Covid Thanksgiving
The Fire Community is no stranger to disappointing holidays. We’ve all had to learn to adapt to scheduling conflicts, unexpected changes and spouses/families being alone on some of the most special days of the year. We have to get creative and create new...
A Cry For Help From The Homefront of the First Responder Mental Health Crisis
This article is a call for accountability to solve a root cause as to why violence happens by first responders. We live in a world where I need to add that disclaimer. Let's get on with the important work. This is a marathon, not a sprint and a healthier humanity...
How Marriage Comparison is Stealing Your Joy
This Guest Post is brought to you by Rachel Mellencamp. (Twitter: @rachelmcamp and IG: @rachelmellencamp) She been married for 3 years to her Firefighter. She says she is still figuring it out. (Aren't we all 😉 ) She also has a passion for firefighters and their...
Things You Wish You Knew When You Were a New Fire Wife
Shift Night Chatter: Things You Wish You Knew As A New Fire wife There are so many things I can think back on and wish I knew when I was a brand new fire wife. This was the inspiration for this week's Shift Night Chatter and it struck a chord as we had nearly 500...
Fire Safety For Your Marriage
The months of September and October exude the presence of the fire service. From the 9/11 recognition of their heroic efforts to the MDA Fill the Boot Campaigns to the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation Memorial Weekend and of course, the annual Fire...
Everyone Goes Home – Will Our Family Be There?
We are so grateful to welcome Andrew Starnes as a guest blogger to the 24-7 COMMITMENT team. There are few other bloggers in the fire service that have shown his commitment to the cause of marriage, family and community - bringing back the brotherhood as everyone...
Stand By Your Man – A Word from a Firefighter Husband
{One of our favorite things EVER is when our husbands, the firefighters, write in to share words. Their words are so powerful to the men around them everyday on the job. And we are so grateful for their courage to speak them out loud. Thank you Dave! And for...
My Husband Facebook Messages Girls All the Time
We have heard this comment so often in fire wife discussions and no doubt does it bring an undercurrent of distrust and lack of transparency in marriage. Scenarios range from husbands picking random girls on Facebook and starting a "get to know you chat" to old...
A Firefighter Marriage Story – Surviving Infidelity
Meet Christy and Chad. Married 19 years. Known each other most of their lives and dated 5 years before getting married. Here is their inspiring story of making marriage amazing. How did you meet? We met when we were 13 or 14 at our local skating rink, I actually...
Another Bad Call
ANOTHER. BAD. CALL. Unfortunately, we don't always know when our firefighters have had a bad call. Sometimes they fly right under the radar, getting hidden in a compartment somewhere they didn’t even know they had. Our husbands are almost constantly exposed to...
Don’t Hoard the Trauma
You don’t have to hoard the trauma - throw it out. Well, maybe it’s not as easy as throwing it out… but we do have the ability to fight trauma head-on as it happens versus storing it away to grow into a bigger problem over time. Listen to this new way to look...
To My Dear Husband, I Am Worried Your Heart Has Hardened
As fire wives we must understand this : Our husbands are exposed to trauma everyday. Sometimes, it isn’t one large traumatic event that can take a mental toll on your spouse, it’s the constant and continual exposure to these so-called ‘minor’ traumas...
The Fire Department is Destroying Us All
Let’s not pretend this thought to quit the fire service never crosses your mind. (and if you are living some amazing fire life where it never has, can we ask for a moment of your silence here because based on our experiences with this world, you are the...
Have you normalized DefCon5 in your house?
Did you know (or forget?) that when someone is regularly around crazy high levels of crisis (which is every single first responder, and their families secondarily), that high level of crazy can be normalized? You don't even feel the crazy, until the...
Why Your Holiday Feelings are Bigger (and how to guide that sleigh)
You know what feels good when life gets crazy? Validation that you aren't crazy. Yes, Virginia, Your Fire Family Christmas IS Extra crazytown. We validate that as professionals with professional advice. You already know this as a fire family (but let's check...
Fire Wife Wisdom {On Duty Communication Plan}
Do you have a plan about how and when you contact your firefighter? We often get the question, "I have a problem (insert a long list of possible issues from mild to important ), should I call my firefighter, or wait until he gets off duty?" "I have this...
New Traditions in the Face of a Covid Thanksgiving
The Fire Community is no stranger to disappointing holidays. We’ve all had to learn to adapt to scheduling conflicts, unexpected changes and spouses/families being alone on some of the most special days of the year. We have to get creative and create new...
A Cry For Help From The Homefront of the First Responder Mental Health Crisis
This article is a call for accountability to solve a root cause as to why violence happens by first responders. We live in a world where I need to add that disclaimer. Let's get on with the important work. This is a marathon, not a sprint and a healthier humanity...
Top Things to Do When Your Firefighter is on Shift
Our Time Together is Kind of a Big Deal... How do you prioritize your schedules when your firefighter is on shift? Do you have certain things that only happen on a shift day/night so you can make the most of every moment when they get home? On last week's Shift Night...
Married…but dating.
Are you married but dating? Still dating your spouse that is. There are three things that sometimes prevent us all from having a “date night” with our firefighters weather we are married or in a long term relationship. We had this come up over and over again. Time,...
Back Off! That’s Our Time – Protecting Your Fire Family Schedule
Have you ever been at a family event or a neighborhood gathering or church and someone says "That was fun. We should all get together again." and your insides start to squirm and your brain starts thinking of polite excuses? So these are super nice people and...
A Firefighter Marriage Story – Surviving Infidelity
Meet Christy and Chad. Married 19 years. Known each other most of their lives and dated 5 years before getting married. Here is their inspiring story of making marriage amazing. How did you meet? We met when we were 13 or 14 at our local skating rink, I actually...
Financial Peace Program Offered Exclusively for Fire Couples
Is money a fighting word in your marriage? Since we all know that sometimes finances can be a huge issue, we are so excited to announce we are offering a fire family Financial Peace group led by certified instructors and available to our members at a discounted price!...
He cheated on me. Do I try to make it work?
I hate this question. It's taboo. I don't even want to have to think about it. But it comes to me at least monthly in a private message that someone wants me to anonymously ask. The fire service is a DISASTER when it comes to marriage. An absolute freaking...
Prayer for Your Firefighter Through the Week
There is no formula for prayer. But my mind gets so busy and cluttered a little road map helps me out. And so does having pretty visual reminders all around me. Print out a couple of copies of this to stick in prominent (or not so prominent) places around your...
He cheated on me. Do I try to make it work?
I hate this question. It's taboo. I don't even want to have to think about it. But it comes to me at least monthly in a private message that someone wants me to anonymously ask. The fire service is a DISASTER when it comes to marriage. An absolute freaking...
The Love Dare – Day 40
(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife) Love Is a Covenant Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Ruth 1:16 Excerpt from...
The Love Dare – Day 39
(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife) Love Endures Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:8 Excerpt from The Love Dare Book: "If love is really love, it doesn’t waffle when it’s not received the way you...
The Love Dare – Day 38
(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife) Love Fulfills Dreams Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 Excerpt from The Love Dare Book: "Not everything...
The Love Dare – Day 37
(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife) Love Agrees in Prayer If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father. Matthew 18:19 Excerpt from The Love...
The Love Dare – Day 36
(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife) Love is God’s Word Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105 Excerpt from The Love Dare Book: "God has the right plan for...
The Love Dare – Day 35
(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife) Love is Accountable Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed. Proverbs 15:22 Excerpt from The Love Dare Book: "A couple that faces...
The Love Dare – Day 34
(You can read more details explaining how we are doing the dare here: The Love Dare with FirefighterWife) Love Celebrates Godliness [Love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:6 Excerpt from The Love Dare Book: "From the...
Another Bad Call
ANOTHER. BAD. CALL. Unfortunately, we don't always know when our firefighters have had a bad call. Sometimes they fly right under the radar, getting hidden in a compartment somewhere they didn’t even know they had. Our husbands are almost constantly exposed to...
Don’t Hoard the Trauma
You don’t have to hoard the trauma - throw it out. Well, maybe it’s not as easy as throwing it out… but we do have the ability to fight trauma head-on as it happens versus storing it away to grow into a bigger problem over time. Listen to this new way to look...
To My Dear Husband, I Am Worried Your Heart Has Hardened
As fire wives we must understand this : Our husbands are exposed to trauma everyday. Sometimes, it isn’t one large traumatic event that can take a mental toll on your spouse, it’s the constant and continual exposure to these so-called ‘minor’ traumas...
The Fire Department is Destroying Us All
Let’s not pretend this thought to quit the fire service never crosses your mind. (and if you are living some amazing fire life where it never has, can we ask for a moment of your silence here because based on our experiences with this world, you are the...
Have you normalized DefCon5 in your house?
Did you know (or forget?) that when someone is regularly around crazy high levels of crisis (which is every single first responder, and their families secondarily), that high level of crazy can be normalized? You don't even feel the crazy, until the...
Why Your Holiday Feelings are Bigger (and how to guide that sleigh)
You know what feels good when life gets crazy? Validation that you aren't crazy. Yes, Virginia, Your Fire Family Christmas IS Extra crazytown. We validate that as professionals with professional advice. You already know this as a fire family (but let's check...
Fire Wife Wisdom {On Duty Communication Plan}
Do you have a plan about how and when you contact your firefighter? We often get the question, "I have a problem (insert a long list of possible issues from mild to important ), should I call my firefighter, or wait until he gets off duty?" "I have this...
New Traditions in the Face of a Covid Thanksgiving
The Fire Community is no stranger to disappointing holidays. We’ve all had to learn to adapt to scheduling conflicts, unexpected changes and spouses/families being alone on some of the most special days of the year. We have to get creative and create new...
A Cry For Help From The Homefront of the First Responder Mental Health Crisis
This article is a call for accountability to solve a root cause as to why violence happens by first responders. We live in a world where I need to add that disclaimer. Let's get on with the important work. This is a marathon, not a sprint and a healthier humanity...